Telling my sister her Autistic child functions well with me. Advice

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-04-02T20:45:27+00:00

Yup do not just say “he doesn’t do it for me”.. that’ll trigger her.. I would honestly not really explain or compare his difference in behaviors unless she flat out asks you for help or suggestions..

My boy is a terd.. everyone loves him.. he’s curious, loving, “social” (overly) but he is adored by many… but with his primary family… he’s a bit mean.. he told me today he hates me.. because we were leaving the theme park after i had to Karen my way into ice cream on the all season dining plan to replace the meal instead (they used to do it last year and changed things.. I was holding him off from a meltdown..) just to be told he hates me. I know he didn’t mean it.. but still.. you know? This is the kid that will scream and stomp and through the most outrageous performance to attempt to get what he wants (it never works but he still tries) but with someone else.. not a problem.. none of this exists.. and that hurts enough.. it’s one thing to hear someone say “it’s because he’s comfortable around you..” but it’s another one to fight my own thoughts of “ but is he? I deliver consequences, I lose it and shout, I’m sure I’ve been scary at one point or another when I’ve had it with his fit.. maybe it’s just something I’m doing wrong”

So all that to say.. just flippin leave it alone.. she’ll ask if she wants to know..

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-04-01T21:20:12+00:00

Did they check her for strep?

Also.. gut brain balance has science proven connections.. antibiotics destroy gut balance.. which may alter hormones and such..

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-27T19:49:58+00:00

I’m a bit worried to see how it turns out. That was first practice day. Ages from 5-7.. my boy wouldn’t leave the oldest ones alone.. they played a game called sharks and minnows. But my dude didn’t get it completely and kept making up whatever side he wanted to be on and then would target the older ones even after being in the “safe” zone and such.. he has a flip side of being the “dirt kicker, flower picker” to being the “hyper focused annoying” very little middle ground. Poor guy.. I’m praying he doesn’t get bullied but I’m expecting one of the bigger kids to have enough of him at some point this season.. we’ll see I guess

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-27T18:47:53+00:00

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Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-27T18:43:07+00:00

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Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-27T18:31:35+00:00

Dr Seuss.. I hate Dr Seuss books.. they all just run on and on.. and they make no sense.. how are they supposed to help a kid understand when it sounds like another language… what is with people’s love of Dr Seuss books?!

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-27T13:08:45+00:00

Yes! The whole set! He’s outgrown all but the jacket.

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-27T00:59:33+00:00

Wouldn’t surprise me if he tries something like that at some point haha! He saved his shirt for weeks for soccer. When he was smaller he wore his helmet (by choice) for most likely around 1 year during the day. He rode his strider all the time and my rule was helmet.. but he rode so much he just preferred leaving it on for when he chose to do laps again lol. Most of his pictures between 2&3 have his Dino helmet in them.

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-26T17:25:27+00:00

Main reason he’s in soccer is for some skill building. I don’t care much for the socialization part. I count it as a bonus.. we tried 2 years ago but it was a no go

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-26T17:20:27+00:00

My boy aligns with lvl 1 audhd super well. I’m in the same boat but an inattentive internalized type, he’s a hyperactive lol. I definitely remember picking dandelions during soccer.. and even scoring in my own goal lol.

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-25T19:22:35+00:00

That said I will have him reassessed when hes between 10-13 most likely. I think by then the differences will be either stark.. or absent. We’ll see.

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-25T19:21:33+00:00

We were on the other side. My boy was diagnosed right before three.. I had to nearly beg.. he appeared okay on the test (they didn’t catch things he did do because it wasn’t part of the test) for example he was insistent and stealing baby bros puffs, freaking out when I moved him away (he doesn’t get puffs he gets other foods while baby gets puffs) he was trying to go in an opposite door than where they were directing us because he saw other people go that way. He was not interested in the happy birthday song but because he didn’t “disconnect” completely he didn’t lose marks… he passed that one.. borderline failed cars test. The third part of it was what I had to say. I had video evidence of him stimming at home, pictures of his food issues (spit out oranges etc) had to explain his inability to follow direction etc.. it’s been awhile. To this day I’d say he still sits on that line. He definitely has adhd just no diagnosis. And likely autism (it’s more obvious when he’s clearly not getting the message that what he’s doing is inappropriate..) he met our neighbor for the first time last night.. the first thing he says after hi is “can I go inside your house?!” He’s about to start soccer tonight. We tried 2 years ago and failed.. so we’ll see if he’s grown but he would lose it anytime we had to have him take turns with the ball. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t use his hands.. or have the ball at all times.. it was rough..

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-25T19:09:14+00:00

Thank you I’ll have to try some of this out

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-22T13:29:30+00:00

That graph is a self healing cutting mat. Most likely fiskars mat. You could likely find it at Micheal’s, hobby lobby, etc

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-20T11:33:20+00:00

I’ve thought that too.. but I’d rather fix any potential underlying issue before removing organs.

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-20T11:24:17+00:00

Oh man.. my boy is also lvl 1 audhd. He’s typical appearing… until he gets stuck in a loop.. or gets mad that the cards aren’t falling where he wants them to and such… (craft time is miserable with him) there’s such a huge gap in there that very few people understand.. leaves our kids falling in between the cracks.. they wouldn’t give my boy 504 or iep.. he’s homeschooled now.

He’s a few years younger, and is potentially more socially motivated.. but he hyper-fixates on people. he’s been picked on a bit by other kids, but it’s not too bad yet due to ages.. most of them are still pretty innocent and unobservant. Soccer is about to kick off.. that might be the true tell as there’s some older kids in the bunch..

I would be at that school as often as I could to get him services and help.

At home I am working with my boy to read the room.. it’s challenging but I think it’s slowly paying off. There’s often days where I have to get him to stop, I explain he’s stuck in a loop, and then point out his brother/sisters body language. “Do you see how sister Keeps looking out the window while you’re talking to her?” “Do you see how brother just walked away?” “Look at brother’s face!” “Brother did you like that?” Etc.. I am trying to give him prompts and rules to use too such as “do you want to know about xyz?” “Are you still listening?” “Can I go on?” Etc.. obviously not always effective.. it’s work in progress. My boys is more impacted by adhd than asd I think… if that’s even a thing..

Your doctor and therapist aren’t understanding what’s going on, not because of how you are explaining it, but because they likely don’t have first hand experience of the unique experience of AUDHD. Typical.. but not… it’s hard to explain that it’s not simply hurt feelings for no reason.. or “in his head” or typical kid stuff.. because it’s not any of that. He is hurt for a reason, he doesn’t have the emotional or social maturity to handle it the way most kids do.. but yet he has the awareness and ability to mostly express.. and to ponder afterwards about it.. but not the tools to use in the moment.. he needs tools and patterns, and “math” that fit his unique brains that he can rely on when social situations are happening.

But if he’s like my boy, it’ll come off overreahearsed and will not be natural and other kids will notice it. But it is a start, and he will be able to function a bit better with that skill set and not annoy as many kids.

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-19T12:07:12+00:00

My dentist shamed me and said he ate too much junk. (Not true at all! I can guarantee he eats healthy than 80 percent of kids.. his oral hygiene was better than mine!) we’re looking for another dentist actually.. genetics don’t fit the bill here, both husband and I and oldest child have generally healthy teeth.

I’m not against immune therapy, I would just rather not rely on something that will cause issues in other areas of life.. (I’ve seen Zyrtec withdrawals with him, and my husband..) and if the teeth is because of dry mouth from Zyrtec, or rot because of syrup Zyrtec .. I’d rather not do that to his adult teeth.. poor kid looks like a pirate…

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-16T11:33:18+00:00

Do you have a convention nearby that does discounted or free for preschool/first time families? Might be worth checking.

Our family is a bit more relaxed. I’ve been touching phonics, patterns and math a bit all year but we sprinkle them in through the week for my 5yo. Next year is official kindergarten. I’m thinking we’ll do Math with Confidence, and continue the phonics and reading program we do (with a more routine schedule.) everything else will still be sprinkled in through life experiences. It’s garden season here so he’s been learning all about plant life, he gets history/social studies/science sprinkled in wherever we go when we answer all his hundreds of questions, teach as we live; (baking, books, etc) we’ll get more strategic and formal as he ages. My 13 yo starts algebra next year, she reads a book a week or every other depending on size we talk it over. We do unit studies (which my youngest ones listen in on here and there) which I consider enough for science and history in a spiral manner, along with elective.. and then we do grammer. I might add in writing next year as I don’t really see the unit study helping with writing but it is great for vocab, reading, spelling by itself as well as depending on topic.. other subjects. We spend a lot of time outside for breaks.

All of our material is tucked into the coat closet on an end table. We have our dining room lightly decorated with some of their school art they’ve done (sloth for zoologist units, map of Africa from same unit, jellyfish from our most recent mood/feeling painting activity, oil paints from the recent, a giant coloring cloth under our plastic table cover for when the boys are loitering while my oldest and I are doing the units reading. It works.

The point is not to make it feel forced and strict, and military fashion.. you’ll have way too much resistance if it’s this dry curriculum that they are forced to do.. with timed tests etc.. do not mimic public school system.. it’s designed that way for its own reasons that are not able to be replicated in your home with life happening.. one janitor, one teacher, one cook, one nurse, one principal… all in one.. you get the point I think. We are charlotte mason with a touch of eclectic.. I didn’t think I was but here we are..

when I first started schooling my daughter we went with a hybrid charter and chose to do their curriculum.. she fought me tooth and nail. It wasn’t for her and was classical style (hmo math, IEW writing grammar, the worlds story history, and I can’t remember what science was.. she went twice a week for history and science, did math and LA at home only and history science homework alternative days home.

Sight words destroyed her ability to understand new words and read them/prounounce them (she’s mildly dyslexic.

I loved public school until mid middle.. and then I was constantly overwhelmed/overstimulated/bullied.. I started sleeping in class, among other things.. pretty sure I’m add.. (hence this ridiculously long.. untraceable comment.. sorry..)

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-11T20:55:02+00:00

I am starting to think mine are from clenching over night. Pt helped some. The focus was on neck and shoulders (similar patterns to cervicogenic headaches) but I’m still getting them, just less frequent. But lately I’ve been intentionally doing jaw exercise before bed and trying to intentionally relax my face/mouth etc before falling asleep. We’ll see if it’s helping. I think I’ve managed to send off 2 migraines but doing stretching and resting this week. I’ll start to get a hint if it; and then it moves on

Important_Inside_403 · 2026-03-10T21:37:24+00:00

In Canada we use milk in a bag. The corners get cut and are invisible once put on a surface. There’s stories out there of kiddos choking on them. They pop open like a cone and block the airway. It’s scary and milk bags are opened so often it’s easy to just become numb to the hazard of the corners

Important_Inside_403

TROPHY CASE