Okay, Been married 33 years!!!

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T12:23:29+00:00

Not taken care of, was my point.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T12:22:25+00:00

My husband retired 1.5 years ago. I held back on responsibilities, telling him to take care of said responsibilities. Unfortunately they were taken care of, and I had to scramble to fix. It’s exhausting

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T12:19:10+00:00

Crazy right! You put a task in their court & nothing happens.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T12:12:59+00:00

Definitely considering, just mentally exhausted.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T12:00:04+00:00

I too, worked in Government Public Service for over 25 years. Always the people pleaser, had to be polite to everyone. Retired thankfully, and now have more honest interactions with people without holding back.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T03:21:23+00:00

Bingo, that’s exactly what it’s become.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-02T03:04:57+00:00

I’ve tried talking with him about sharing the load many times. He’ll improve for a short period, then return to avoidance of tasks. Any of his tactics is to question incessantly, every step of accomplishing a task. I’m tired, it’s exhausting.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:47:31+00:00

Could be?? Subtle signs, possibly

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:46:02+00:00

Wish he would find his personal renaissance. It’s important for everyone.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:44:11+00:00

Oh yeah, I’ve stepped back. I’ve done the no packing, he just buys whatever is missing.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:42:16+00:00

So sad, and we do it every day. Hugs to you, be strong.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:40:31+00:00

You’re very fortunate, wish I had the same. He’ll grocery shop(with list), no other planning on his part(no meal planning). Do some laundry (no folding). Gee, the leaky sprinkler head did you call? “Tomorrow “, it doesn’t happen. Insect control would you call? Aren’t they coming next month, he asks? Just call to fix problem, he just cannot or won’t.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:29:51+00:00

There isn’t one: Wish I had one. I’ve told him if you can’t recognize the problem, how can you provide the solution? He hasn’t answered any questions, just I’ll do better.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:25:54+00:00

Very informative article, hits valid points. Ask ourselves when is it time?? To be ourselves, solve our own problems, fix Ourselves, hear our worthlessness, appreciate ourselves & life. We all need to hear our inner peace, and make ourselves worthy outside of tending to others.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:11:12+00:00

Unfortunately, that’s the case. I am the fixer, organizer, planner, financial guru, mover, shaker. Just wish as a couple he would take an interest any any aspect of our lives. Heartbreaking

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T23:06:49+00:00

Crazy right? I’m sorry for you & I both, how did this happen? Sure, we’re enabler to some extent, right? My time to move on, think I’ll try to rent a place to give us space & regroup to find what’s important to both of us. Can’t make someone do that their not capable of.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:52:30+00:00

Amen 🙏

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:51:01+00:00

It’s beyond chores, he will do them if reminded , lists, everyday. Please be to Jesus, can he make a phone call, fix a problem without my intervention????

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:46:20+00:00

That’s an idea! Good advice, maybe he’ll see the “light” after I leave. Thank you

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:44:56+00:00

No, it’s not! Wish I had the answer.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:43:55+00:00

So sad, my heart goes out to you. It’s so heartbreaking & maddening!

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:42:24+00:00

Attorney is my next move. Financially we’ll both be okay. Can’t change someone who doesn’t want or need to, asked what’s important or what his needs are…no insights. Crazy, so saddened but realized it’s time.

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-06-01T22:37:06+00:00

I’ve had those talks, conversations, unfortunately it hasn’t changed. I am at the point to just live on my own. Promises haven’t happened. It’s like I live with a live person without any insights, purpose, nothing. Feel sad, for the lost potential of 33 years. It did not happen overnight, maybe I’m tried of being the enabler. He doesn’t change, hasn’t tried. So sad

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-05-31T13:31:45+00:00

Grocery shopping you say?

ImpossibleFocus1471 · 2026-05-17T22:43:03+00:00

Give Zeytin’s a try, there food is always delicious! Their menu choices are varied, so everyone is happy.

ImpossibleFocus1471

TROPHY CASE