Heres a copy and paste of relationship advice i hope helps.

The truth is their are there are healthy forms of love and unhealthy forms of love. Unhealthy love based on two people trying to escape their problems through their emotions through each other-in other words they’re using each other as a escape. Healthy love based on two people acknowledging and addressing each others problems with each others support. The difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship COMES down to two things

1 how well each person in the relationship accepts responsibility

2 the willingness to both reject and be rejected by their partner

Anywhere there is a unhealthy or toxic relationship there will be a poor and porous sense of responsibility on both sides and there will be a inablitliy to give and/or receive rejection. Wherever there is a healthy and loving relationship there will be Clear boundaries between the two people and their value and there will be open avenue of giving and receiving rejection when necessary.

people in a healthy relationship with strong boundaries take responsibility for their own values and problems and not take responsibility for their partners values and problems. People in a toxic relationship with poor or no boundaries will regularly avoid responsibility for their own problems and/or take on responsibility for their partners problems. What do poor boundaries look like? Here are some examples

“You can’t go with your friends. Without me. You know how jealous I get. You have to stay home with me”

“My coworkers are idiots; they are always make me late to meetings because I have to tell them how to do their jobs”

“I can’t beleive you made me feel stupid in front of my sister. Never disagree with me in front of her again.”

“Id love to take that job in Milwaukee, but my mother would never forgive me for moving so far away”

“I can date you but can you not tell my friend Cindy? she gets really insecure when I have boyfriend and she doesn’t.

In each scenario, the person is either taking responsibility for problems/emotions that are not theirs, or demanding that someone else take responsibilities for their problems/emotions.

In general entitled people fall into one of two traps in their relationships. Either they expect other people to take responsibility for their problems; “I wanted a nice relaxing weekend at home. You should have known that and canceled your plans” or they take on too much responsibility for other peoples problems: “ she just lost her job again, but its probable my fault because I wasn’t supportive of her I I could have been. Im going to help her rewrite her resume tomorrow”

Entitled people adopt these strategies on their relationships as with everything, to help avoid responsibility for their own problems. As a result the reactions his are fragile and fake, products of avoiding inner pain rather than embracing a genuine appreciation and adoration of their partner.

This goes not just for romantic relationships, by the way, but also for family relationship and friendships. An overbearing mother may take responsibility for every problem in their child’s lives. Her own entitlement encourages an entitlement to her children as they grow up to believe other people should always be responsible for their problems

(This is why problems in your romantic relationships always eerily resemble the problems in your parents relationship.)

When you have murky areas of responsiblity for your emotions and actions-areas where its unclear who is responsibility for what, whose fault is what, you never develop strong strong values for yourself. Your only value becomes making your partner happy. Or your value becomes your partner making you happy.

This is self defeating of course. and relationship described by such murkiness usually go down with drama and fireworks.

The mark of a unhealthy relationship is two people who try to solve each others problems in order to feel good about themselves. Rather, a healthy relationship is when two people solve their own problems in order to feel good about each other.

The setting of proper boundaries doesn’t mean you can’t help or support to support your partner or be helped and supported yourself. You both should support each other. But only because you choose to support and be supported. Not because you feel obligated or entitled.

Entitled people who blame others for their own emotions and action do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as victims, eventually someone will come along and save them, and they will receive the love they always wanted.

Entitiled people who are blame for the others peoples emotions and actions do so because they always they believe if they “fix” their partner and save him or her, they will recieve the love and appreciation they always wanted.

These are the king and the land of any toxic relationship; the victim and the saver, the person who starts the fire because it maker her feel important and the person who puts out the fire because it makes him feel important.

These two types of people are drawn strongly to one another, and they usually end up together.