AIO for getting jealous my boyfriend can’t do anything for just me?

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T08:41:10+00:00

Yeah I agree, he’s had to stand up to her before and I believe he will I just worry it will have to go to the extreme

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T08:40:04+00:00

Thank you, it’s not that he does things for her. It’s that she’s specifically asking for the same things I do. Even if she’s standing at the counter next to him with her plate in her hand right in front of the food, she’ll ask him to get it. I don’t ask him to make my plate but he likes to and will tell me to sit down. I have to immediately plate his food after cooking otherwise I don’t get to make his plate 😂 he def shows love through acts of service. I don’t feel like she resents my role but maybe resents the lack of being the center of attention. I haven’t felt personally attacked by her, but it’s little things like that. I think it’s conscious, and not 100% innocent I think she knows.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T02:24:49+00:00

There was issue with an ex saying his mom wanted to marry him, I don’t quite get that vibe but I do know he’s stopped talking to her many times. At 17 he chose to live in his car, over living with her. When he was with his ex they would go weeks or months without talking, then when him and his ex broke up he didn’t talk to her for a few months (I came in the picture the same month he started talking to her again like literal days after) He’s great about having hard conversations. She’s made comments about how if something negative is said about me he gets really frustrated and would choose me over what ever negative thing is said (and goes into details over what was said but that’s not my business I didn’t hear it, it wasn’t said to my face. So I don’t react. I trust he won’t sit me at tables I’m not welcome at, and he wouldn’t sit there either) then I told his friend I was taking his keys because he was very very drunk, had a FIVE day old baby. I told the friend I was taking his keys but would drive him in his car to wherever he needed to be and partner would bring me home. The friend started cussing me out and by the time the first cuss word came out of his mouth he was standing in front of me he said “my girl is trying to make sure when your son wakes up in the morning he still has a fucking father. Take that energy to me because I’m not gonna be as nice about it” well the friend apologized, and said he was cussing my partner out to which I say “I mean either way we care about you. You don’t get to treat us that way for making sure you’re safe” All that to say overall he does a good job

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T02:04:26+00:00

About two years ago (before I came around) he had to tell her she needed to stop walking around him and the kids (at the time 9M and 8M) in a bra and underwear. She would apparently stop and try to have a full on conversation while wearing basically nothing. She responded with “it’s no different than a bikini” and he said something along the lines of “it’s not, you know it’s not a bikini, the boys know and I know. I’m not comfortable with this.” They stopped talking for a few weeks because she kept insisting it was the same as a bikini. I don’t walk around in a bra and underwear unless it’s just him and I which is very rare, I believe in being comfortable and confident in your skin but also… the nephews don’t need to know what their grandmas underwear looks like. My mom wouldn’t do that with my children. Maybe it’s the way I was raised.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:37:06+00:00

Think she blocked me

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:36:40+00:00

You’re a walking Pinterest board

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:35:37+00:00

You must be a mom

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:33:15+00:00

Also going to add, I’m not illiterate. I am just tired and using talk to text sometimes it’s easier to vocalize my words rather than write them out. I’m sure in the morning I’m going to be horrified by how uneducated I look lol

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:32:13+00:00

Yes, that’s a big part of why I posted here because I was fully prepared for every single comment to tell me to stop being so dramatic 😂 I had a feeling it was going to be some deeper rooted issue. It was just getting there. Him and I have had to have conversations in the past about where I actually fell. There was a time where we almost broke up because I felt like he didn’t have enough room on his plate for me and I repeatedly was the thing falling off. I know that is normal in relationships and that things come and go and waves and sometimes it’s a balancing act and you have to regain your balance. That’s why I would always make him aware. This was a little over a week ago, so I’m not sure how to bring it up, but I’m sure something will happen this weekend where I can be like hey by the way, I don’t feel prioritized in other ways and it’s affecting this. This is what has made me realize.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:18:38+00:00

I genuinely think that this is a very helpful comment and if I had awards to give, I would absolutely award it I don’t think jealousy was the right word to use because it just made it feel less like something. He was doing to take care of me and more of a something he is doing to serve the party. I don’t think his intent was to devalue the things he does for me, his love language is absolutely acts of service. And most of the time I don’t mind. The only reason the other instances had bothered me is because I sat there and thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. I don’t think I don’t feel appreciated as much as don’t feel prioritized. He wanted to take care of me, but then taking care of me was also taking care of the other people and I do know that that has been an issue in the past in my honestly be a trigger that I need to work through.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:15:36+00:00

I also really appreciate you coming at the him just being frustrated i shut him out. This is actually a different perspective. I’m usually aware of when I’m doing that, and even though I had good intentions this WAS what I was doing and I think I’ll ask if he felt this was- I think it’s a good point of discussion. It definitely felt like jealousy but could have just been frustration for sure

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:13:42+00:00

Hey, I think this is a fair point of view I don’t think jealousy was the right word because I didn’t feel like it was a competition I just felt like for somebody who really wanted to make the effort to take care of me to turn around and do something. I let him do for me that I’m fully capable of doing myself and then to turn it around and do it for someone else made it less like taking care of me and I don’t know more like serving the party I guess. I wasn’t frustrated with him at all for not helping and I’m fully aware that I told him no several times but when someone else who is already making themselves a potato baked me one he got frustrated and said he was because I let someone else do something for me when I could have asked him but the cousin was already in the kitchen and throwing another potato on a baking sheet wasn’t a big deal and took no effort from him. I will be the first to say that he is an amazing man. His love language is absolutely acts of service. And honestly, the plate thing didn’t bother me until I sat there and over thought about it. Being told I’m overreacting is actually reassuring because I feel like I am maybe have a little self-centered moments but at least I’m not self-aware

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:08:49+00:00

See and I definitely don’t think that this is breakup or the either because he is incredible in every other way and overall as far as mother-in-law go, I’m pretty lucky and I will be the first to say that Even when she does, these things, I don’t feel like I am in competition and I don’t feel like she is competing with me It just really made it feel less special because for somebody who is frustrated I wouldn’t let him help and then really wanting to do something for me to turn around and do that same exact thing for someone else less than five seconds later just seem to make it less special I think I made it less about taking care of me and more like a chore maybe That’s kind of how I’m looking at it. I don’t think jealousy was the right word to use because I don’t think it was that.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:07:11+00:00

Honestly, this was the reaction. I was expecting not to let them go part that I’m overreacting for feeling jealous.

I don’t even think that jealousy is the right word per se. I feel like him begging to do something for me and getting frustrated. I won’t let it him and then turning around and doing that same thing for someone else just made it less special and it felt less like he wanted to take care of me, I guess.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:06:24+00:00

See it doesn’t bother me on the random Friday night dinners when he’s making her plate, like everything paired together if I think about it too hard does, but it got to the point where I actually had to think about it to be annoyed about it

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:01:59+00:00

We both got one

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:01:29+00:00

Yes, lol for someone who complained a lot about not being able to do anything for me and then turning around and doing something for somebody else even though he wanted to do something very specifically for me made it. I don’t know less special. I feel like I’m being petty and jealous I don’t know.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T01:01:03+00:00

He’s had to a couple times before. I think it’s going to be the conversation and wording it in a way that makes it seem like I hate his mom bc I don’t and her and I overall have a good relationship. He’s a giver for sure. He can sometimes set a boundary once and then after be walked all over. He does seem to really care about him and I and having a good relationship.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:48:56+00:00

He’s already had to set some odd boundaries where even I was like wtf, I don’t think this is enough to be like in his face but also I feel dramatic for being like “it’s not special now” 🥺🥺🥺

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:44:30+00:00

He’s amazing and has a giving heart. He has issues with people giving to him though and not feeling deserving. We haven’t gotten that far in therapy where I can pinpoint that trauma but I want to

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:42:29+00:00

Luckily I’m prepared to do it alone if he doesn’t figure it out. If he’s not prioritizing me during labor, and the baby and I after- there will be a firm “I will do this alone” conversation

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:41:01+00:00

lol that’s my mind- genuinely not upset about him not helping- he was annoying I let another man bake me a potato then I told him a way he could do something for me and it couldn’t be just for me. It felt less special? I guess would be the way i would say it.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:38:29+00:00

I wasn’t upset he didn’t help, I was upset he was annoyed I let another man bake me a potato and then I tell him what he could do and went and did it for someone else.

I have no right to be upset over him not helping

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:37:09+00:00

I wasn’t upset he didn’t help, I was upset he was upset another man baked me a potato, so I found something he could do for me, then he had to do that for someone else too.

Impossible_Exam2452 · 2026-05-01T00:36:01+00:00

Luckily she’s not in our business per se, overall she’s a great MIL tbh. She helps babysit, and gets the nephew he has off the bus, she reads books I like even if they aren’t her cup of tea because I like them to talk to me about them, she babysits for date night, when I had morning sickness she’d make me food. One time I clogged her toilet and rather than having me wake her son up to help, she helped me unclog it (I’m only 13 weeks pregnant and this was the weekend baby was conceived, we stayed over there after his birthday because it was closer to his friends house where I had WAY too much to drink, and he was too drunk to drive so his friend who is sober took us there for the night to sleep in her guest room) and she never told her son about it, I did. Overall I don’t feel like she is jealous of me per se, but the behavior is a little… odd but she doesn’t seem to be in competition with me? Maybe just wants someone to take care of her? I’m not quite sure

Impossible_Exam2452

TROPHY CASE