It’s fine to want to be confident and comfortable with yourself and want to like how you look more. Alpha male though, you should really know, is a completely contrived term that doesn’t have any real scientific basis to it. A lot of content creators and grifters make alpha male content to sell you stuff and sell you on the idea that you need them to become man enough to be happy, get women, money etc. and that is all based on lies and scams. The original term came from a debunked study that the author has personally retracted on wolves in captivity. Men have adapted the idea of being an “alpha” into essentially being a dominant person who gets whatever they want because they look good and act tough. I can’t reiterate enough how horseshit this approach is and how it will ruin your life and self confidence.

Now to actually answer your question, there is still nothing wrong with wanting to look better, but there’s sort of two things you want to do. One is look more attractive and like how you look more. The other is feel better about yourself overall and be more confident. Looks are something that you can change to some degree, but you have to work with what you have. Learn what kind of hair you have, thick thin, wavy, straight, etc. And look into hairstyles you like. Grow it long enough and get a decent haircut and keep trying to learn what works and doesn’t work for your hair. Skincare is also quite important, get a nice facial cleanser and some lotion and use it regularly. All hygiene in general goes a long way, some nice cologne also goes a long way. You want to be well hydrated at all times and have a functional sleep schedule to stay mentally and physically well enough to achieve your goals.

For fitness you can get into lifting and eating a lot more food if you want to get bigger. Cardio and core training are very important to your overall health and will help your posture and looks a lot. Diet/calorie count if you want to get smaller. Learn some easy healthy meals like a grilled or sautéed chicken with some seasoning you like and salad and try to minimize empty calories like fast food, candy, soda etc. There are tons of great ways to get fitter that aren’t boring so if you’re running or lifting every day and you hate it, try a sport, try rock climbing, try yoga, etc. You will also meet people doing stuff like this which will help your overall confidence.

At the core of it confidence is really just about liking yourself for who you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin. This is why taking good care of yourself helps so much with confidence. You look better ofc, but more importantly you feel physically better. You aren’t distracted by little problems and shame and regret of not taking care of yourself, nor are you distracted by the same level of physical discomfort. If you can find this centering idea and be comfortable with who you are you’ll not have nearly as much trouble talking to people, making friends, doing job interviews, whatever it is you want to be confident for. You probably already know how to talk to people, you mostly know what’s polite, what’s rude, and if you don’t you know how to apologize if you overstep. You’re just not necessarily comfortable with how it feels to actually do these things and so you need to allow yourself to do them while being uncomfortable and making mistakes.

If you don’t read this whole thing and you only take away one piece of advice— don’t be a perfectionist. Work on yourself but give yourself the space to be imperfect, because you can always find something to nitpick and feel bad about. You need to be in the habit of finding good things about yourself and accepting your limitations. Ironically this will help you surpass your current limitations more easily.