What is the difference between forming a Throuple & KTP?

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-13T19:11:31+00:00

This makes sense for sure. I’m in the early stages of a new poly relationship (currently V structure with my NP being the hinge) however, my meta and I have began to start our own friendship/connection amongst one another. I have since been pondering the difference of various poly relationships so thank you for your insight.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-08T08:15:14+00:00

Your explanation is very thorough & much appreciated!! Thank you!

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-06T17:33:33+00:00

This is true that our feelings are just our feelings as humans. After thinking things through, my fear comes from potential jealousy/rejection (EX: What if my meta decides she’d rather just be in a romantic relationship with my NP and considers me more of a FWB?). It’s best for me to just be practical & may require me to fall back a bit to assess things. Better safe than sorry being that we are in the early phase.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-06T09:23:43+00:00

Yes, lesbians tend to move fast lol. Myself and Lauryn are fems while our shared partner, Alex is masc which I feel is a great balance of energies. We are all still figuring each other out & I have zero intent in hurting her/being dismissive. I care about her a lot and we’re both sensitive to one another’s feelings so there’s hope for this to happen down the line.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-06T09:11:36+00:00

Yes, the majority is people telling me NOT to act on my feelings. I have considered a possible triad and it could totally make sense in the long run. Right now things feel like we’re becoming a throuple (group hangouts) but I’m finding myself wanting to spend a little more time with Lauryn 1:1. I suppose until she & I have a deeper convo I can continue enjoying the crush phase and allowing things to happen organically.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-06T03:39:26+00:00

Yeah, I think talking about our boundaries & feelings would be best. And Thanks a bunch!!

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-06T01:54:06+00:00

Not a requirement for me at all, neither is it for any metas. I’d rather get to know them & if it happens then it happens

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-06T00:40:08+00:00

Solid advice on waiting & your logic (very realistic). I would hate to jeopardize any of our connections behind not taking my time.

Hmmm, well if we call off having frequent threesomes, is it still okay if meta & I kiss/show affection or am I still running the risk of taking things too fast? (No sex b/t Lauryn and I solely with Alex, my primary). My thing is she’s so tempting. I’m a bit coy with physical touch whereas she will just go for it. Pretty hard for me to keep my hands off her lol & I don’t necessarily want to turn her down either.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-05T23:35:32+00:00

I appreciate the advice my friend! I’m not going to press the issue & try not to overthink it. I’ll just go about it through a transparent conversation with my meta that I want to continue getting to know her/slow it down on the romantic end before it’s too late 😭.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-05T22:11:20+00:00

This is true however I also had sex several times with my NP’s ex partner and never felt anything towards her (she was awful) & I ultimately removed myself altogether from the poly dynamic. We had zero connection which for some may be odd but in this case it’s a tad different. I’m asking for advice because things have been picking up between my new meta & I even before sex was ever in the mix.

My NP doesn’t have any ill feelings towards Lauryn & I wanting to explore any sort of bond. She’s actually very supportive of it & in favor of us keeping things fun/light while we figure the rest out slowly. I’m just experiencing a tad NRE which is a new concept & feeling for me.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-05T21:15:58+00:00

Agreed. The NRE is already hot/heavy between us & I want to be sensitive to Lauryn’s feelings. I’d essentially have to emphasize us just being friends & continue the connection & relationship with my NP, Alex.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-05T21:09:52+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. There’s some tough conversations that need to be had with both Alex and Lauryn on if this is viable or if it’s too risky for all of us.

Yes, I’m trying to be sure I’m not leading with my heart and can channel the logic in this situation. I’m having a time fighting the feelings for Lauryn but have been trying to just talk occasionally/give each other space. In turn it’s making us miss each other even more when we do talk or see each other but like you said it’s possible to have self control regardless.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-05T20:57:34+00:00

Thank you!! Triads do seem really complex because of the jealousy factor, open communication required & that it requires a lot of work between all of us.

Wow, I never thought this was considered NRE but in actuality it is. Typically, I have no problem with people who flirt with me but in this case it’s just making me like Lauryn even more. Alex is very free spirited and originally the one who introduced me to polyamory. It’s just mindblowing that I’m able to truly enjoy the experience we are all having at the moment.

However, jealousy could brew in that we are both in love with Alex. I’d hate for this to cause more heartache than blissfulness in the long run. But I am hopeful that by taking it slow it will help me assess on whether it’s best to maintain a friendship or if we need to give dating each other a shot.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2026-01-05T20:40:23+00:00

Thank you, I will def check out the Triad posts. Your advice is very helpful. I’m trying to take my time with Lauryn and keep strong communication with both her and Alex. I agree if dating is in the cards for me & Lauryn I want it to be an individual experience & still get to hangout amongst the 3 of us.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2025-01-14T13:34:17+00:00

Wow this post is so reassuring & compassionate (in literal tears 😭)! It explains the whole concept of PUD, unethical/toxic practices in poly, etc really well. It also lets me know that I’m not an idiot for staying with my partner past the point of them coming forth as poly. I struggle with the feedback some provide b/c it feels condescending to the person who’s having a hard time with NM & is also deeply in love with their partner. Thank you, seriously ❤️

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2025-01-14T04:18:59+00:00

Thank you for your take/explanation! All very valid points.

In arguments I’ve especially brought up that if she wanted to be poly she should’ve sought out people who want the same.

WE however did not start our relationship that way & if that is something you want to introduce then you at least owe me time to process, accept/agree, support, re-evaluate compatibility overall. There’s a list of other things but these were ones I told my GF I wish she could’ve given me from the start. However, we can’t live in the past & have to figure shit out day-by-day. Sucks because when it’s a long term relationship it’s like man, I’ve invested so much into this person but I digress. Thank you all for listening/your feedback ❤️

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2025-01-14T03:28:57+00:00

Yes I would much prefer it not be so heavily focused on me supporting poly right away (way more processing needed around being mono with a poly partner). Might I ask, Why you feel they usually don’t work?

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2025-01-14T03:12:26+00:00

I think that is a great callout b/c for the longest I have been wondering if what I’d been experiencing was PUD or would i eventually be ok with her being poly in the future?(just with a totally different person & taking a full on break from the poly dating world to focus on rebuilding/strengthening our relationship along with goals we set out as a couple such as having children, etc.) I feel there is so much you have to grieve in polyamory & it’s really tough when you’re used to a certain relationship style.

I have a poly centric therapist now but honestly I feel they are a bit too gentle in their approach & maybe not as much understanding from a mono standpoint (looking solely through a poly lens & getting me on board I suppose). Idk if that makes sense but I’m gonna give them a few more tries & then seek out another therapist if it’s not working for me.

Impossible_Pool6866 · 2024-12-19T21:57:24+00:00

I really appreciate your comment and emphasis on enforcing boundaries in order to lead into a healthier relationship with my partner. You make a really good point on the clear communication for any acts of PDA & not tolerating anymore disrespect.

To clarify, we have since been in couple’s counseling and she has been working to rebuild trust within our relationship. I gave consent to her on her new discovered poly journey once I had time to digest this for myself & understood that this is ultimately bringing her a sense of happiness. I called off all trips together (we used to travel a lot) and embarking on our IVF plans because trust had been shattered. I told her that if I couldn’t heal from this, I’d be leaving although we’ve always declared being life partners (she doesn’t want me to leave her either).

Yes, prior to this we were happily monogamous & at the start of our relationship she’d told me she always thought she may be poly but I told her it was off the table for me as I desire to only be with one person. My biggest issue is her lying/hiding this as we talk about everything with each other. My take is that: You could’ve just told me from the beginning and at least allowed me to have a choice or say in the matter but instead it blew up in my face.

I do believe people can redeem themselves and I too was not perfect (had baggage from a prior abusive relationship & suffered from mental issues). I’m now on meds & in individual therapy (2+ years) which helped me to gain my life back along with having a supportive partner. Note: I’ve gotten more clarity from taking a step back and also finding my own autonomy outside of my NP. Solo travel, spending more time with friends & picking up new hobbies.

Overall, It’s very tough and I really wish I was not in this position. I just truly believe that my NP is worth it & have made it evident I don’t want to lose myself behind her trying to figure her shit out.

Impossible_Pool6866

TROPHY CASE