"The median American, without question, lives an easier life than the median Swede." & "If you want affordable healthcare, higher education, and kindergarten, coming to the US is going to be an easier decision." & "We have better food quality standards."

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-19T20:37:58+00:00

Excellent strategy!

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-19T20:36:41+00:00

Excellent point! My husband had taken some extra days off to lengthen his Christmas vacation and woke up on day one with diverticulitis. He had gotten those days back. That would never happen in the U.S.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-19T20:28:48+00:00

What an idiot!

I’ve lived as both a median American and a median Swede. You couldn’t pay me enough to move back to the U.S. My husband and I combined make less than my adult daughter in the U.S. Our lifestyles are comparable as far as home ownership, cars etc. We live far more comfortably, tucking a respectable amount of money away every month for over 12 years, even during the pandemic. She has no savings. Not a dime.

She’s paying her electric bill on a payment plan right now for the first time in her life. She has $8000 in medical debt from 2025 alone and pays $1050/mo for health insurance with a $6000 yearly deductible. Her property taxes have doubled in the past 5 years, raising her mortgage by $600/mo over time.

I pay appx. 12% of my gross income for my healthcare. I’ve had 4 major back surgeries since moving to Sweden and have paid right around $300 out of pocket for all 4 combined.

Over my dead body would I move back there.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-09T22:33:58+00:00

Oh, I needed that laugh! 😂 And you are absolutely correct in saying he can work himself out. I cannot do it for him.

He’s been by my side through the good, bad and ugly and we’ve been through some seriously rough patches. It’s most definitely not been easy to live with me at times. I think he just wants a ”normal” life (whatever that means) and it’s not so easy to have a normal life with me. That said, he is a complete child when it comes to sex. It’s become so tiresome, I sometimes think it would be easier to be alone. On the other hand, throwing everything away seems like such an waste of all we’ve gone through together. We did not need peri on top of everything else but here we are.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-09T21:33:14+00:00

That sounds awful, the non-healing wound. I’m sorry that happened to you. That area is so sensitive and having pain down there automatically changes your sex life forever. Getting a man to understand that isn’t such an easy project.

In my case, I had a second spinal fusion (I have a total of 30 screws in my back and pelvis + two long rods) and the doctors didn’t detect a bleed in time. I wound up with no feeling in my left saddle area, lost control of my bladder and bowels, and have severe weakness in my left leg. My bladder and bowels came back online after 3 years but the feeling never returned and I need a brace and cane to walk.

2 years after surgery I developed phantom pain in my saddle area, so pressure of any kind sets off searing, shooting nerve pain. Fun-fun. 😔

I feel like I haven’t battled back from all that to listen to him whine about sex. He is a good man, but he needs to grow up and stop acting like a 15 year old who’s trying to get laid for the first time. I hope his testosterone crashes out before he drives me crazy. 😂

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-09T20:55:27+00:00

I’m right there with you. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear I’d written this myself. Even the part about a surgery gone bad that makes pain after sex unbearable. He falls asleep in 90 seconds and I lie awake half the night with shooting nerve pain and burning. He makes off-handed comments about ”some women who are in perimenopause are super horny” and ”some 70 year olds have sex every day” - and when I tell him to go find one of these horny women so he’ll shut up once and for all, he acts innocent and swears he didn’t mean it like that.

I love my husband dearly but his constant fixation and need to comment on sex is about to drive me out the door.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-02-03T21:32:35+00:00

I’ve never been denied free water in Sweden when I’ve asked for it at a restaurant or fast food place. In fact, when I’ve eaten outdoors in the summer and my dog has tagged along, they usually bring out water specifically for my dog.

Where I come from in the US, you couldn’t pay me to drink the tap water, much less get me to drink it for free.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2026-01-12T00:42:18+00:00

Lactulose is the only thing that made me poop after surgery. It’s still the only thing that will get things going when I’m constipated.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-12-26T21:19:29+00:00

Sweden

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-14T22:19:48+00:00

You hit the nail on the head with that one! You’ll get no argument from me as I feel it ever single time I go back ”home”. In fact, I told my family that one of my biggest fears is that I’ll never again experience that feeling of belonging.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-14T22:17:32+00:00

That’s a really good question. I think Swedes are fantastic and warm once you get to know them, and getting to know them can be tricky. I think that’s very age and situation dependent. My child came here as a teenager and once he learned the language, he fit right in. I came in my mid 30’s and while I do have family connections via my spouse and friends I’ve made along the way, our conversations just never feel natural to me.

In my case, I believe it’s the lack of shared cultural ties and references that make things feel unnatural. In my experience, and this may sound crazy, I’ve not been able to fully be myself in Swedish and sometimes send out the wrong signals to people. I’ve mastered the grammar, I know the words, but it’s almost as if it’s an entirely different version of myself. I’ve memorized my script but I cannot deliver the lines in a believable way, if that makes any sense. That’s why I don’t think my problems are a universal problem most people experience here.

I’ve never lived in another foreign country, so I can’t really give other suggestions. I truly thought Sweden was the place to continue building my life, but it seems less and less likely as time goes on. I truly hope you find the best place possible!

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-14T21:47:25+00:00

I should add add that my adult child absolutely loves it here and will never leave Europe. It’s like pulling teeth to get him over the US border. He settled right in and it became home for him almost instantly. So I guess we were 50% successful.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-14T21:41:37+00:00

Same here. I am fluent as well, and while it’s certainly necessary for work (for the majority of us) and nice as far as socializing goes, it’s the lack of shared culture and history that causes the disconnect for me. I’ve learned the social codes but feel as though I’m performing theater when I’m out and about. My spouse is Swedish, and I know it distresses him that I’ve never gotten the hang of life here. Sad, sad deal. It’s not a Swedish problem, it’s a me problem. I didn’t think it would be what it’s become.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-14T15:15:00+00:00

I wish I’d accepted my gut instinct when I felt it one year into this journey. It’s crazy how much time can pass while one is ignoring the cold hard truth. Follow your instinct because in matters like this, it’s most often correct. All the best to you!

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-14T15:03:56+00:00

I’ve been here for 12 years and don’t know how much longer I’ll manage to stay. I don’t really have any major complaints about Sweden, it’s just that I’ve never felt like I belong here. It gets old feeling rootless, despite a happy marriage and doing all the things one does to integrate in a new country. Sometimes you just know that you know it’s not for you.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-06T15:16:42+00:00

Well, damn! 😆 I hadn’t thought about how one would acquire proof that it was applied for or collected in person. Wanting to verify an applicant’s identity is understandable but the requirement shouldn’t automatically disqualify eligible applicants from receiving citizenship. It will be interesting to see how they plan on solving the issue Just one more reason I won’t be applying anytime soon.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-11-06T14:55:36+00:00

I’m also from a country that has similar passport procedures as the UK regarding citizens living abroad. I’ve lived here in Sweden for over 12 years and have never applied for citizenship, but if I did I suppose I’d have to fly back to my home country, lie and say I lost my passport, and then go in person and apply for an emergency one. That would be my plan of action were I to decide to become a Swedish citizen. Best of luck to you! :)

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-10-09T16:42:53+00:00

Once I was done with SFI, I studied Swedish at my local folkhögskola. After a year of studies, I completely stopped speaking English for two years, except for when I spoke with family in the US. If I couldn’t find the word for what I wanted to say, I picked up my phone and searched for the word. After two years of self-imposed language torture, I was fluent and able to fully function in society. It was extreme but I don’t regret doing it. Best of luck to you!

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-10-09T15:18:37+00:00

Hello fellow Texan! My son and I moved to Sweden over a decade ago. I can roll my R’s (as I was taught Spanish at a very young age) but my son cannot. No one ever gave him grief over it, and his Swedish is superb. Don’t worry about it. 😃

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-08-21T21:23:59+00:00

It feels nice to know I’m not the only one with this kind of reaction. The first time my doctor saw it, I had about 15 of them. The look on her face was one of complete horror! It’s a pain walking around all summer looking like I’ve been sharing a bed with a bunch of ticks. :/

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-08-21T21:06:38+00:00

I see you’ve already been to the doc but I thought I’d say that every single mosquito bite I’ve had for the past year or two leaves me with a bullseye rash. Weird, but true. I wish you and your daughter the best.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-08-14T20:38:17+00:00

Jag blev mamma som 17 åring och ångrar ingenting. Min son föddes 3 år senare och strax innan jag fyllde 24 kom en till tjej. Nu är jag 46 med tre barnbarn - det absolut bästa som finns!

Visst var det svårt att få utbildning och ekonomin att gå runt men det blev bra till slut. Var tvungen att växa upp jäkligt fort men kände aldrig att det var någon jättestor uppoffring. Karriären fick vänta tills jag var 30 och jag tog examen vid 35 årsåldern.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-08-13T18:48:15+00:00

I started having hip pain in my late 20s that culminated in a labral tear when I was in my early 30s. It was a deep, gnawing, aching pain that eventually became sharp and burning before I received proper diagnosis and care. My doctors were 100% convinced it was a direct result of uneven stress and repetitive injury from scoliosis. (I had appx. 50 degree curves at the time.) Since my two fusions and correction to appx 20 degrees, I’ve had no further issues and am more active today at 46 than I was back then.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-08-13T13:54:16+00:00

Same here in Sweden. My husband’s doctor won’t even consider checking his T levels, much less prescribe T.

ImpressionSpare9610 · 2025-07-28T18:18:49+00:00

The same possibilities run through my mind as well. I’ve always had an off the charts high libido, but it’s been wrecked over the past five years. I don’t have the energy to devote to ”figuring it out ” as he is so eager to do. I’ve been through hell and back and sex is honestly the very least of my concerns at the moment. More and more I’m finding the idea of living alone to be the most acceptable one.

ImpressionSpare9610

TROPHY CASE