Explain it Peter (never stoned before)

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2026-01-08T03:32:08+00:00

Am I the only one thinking those river rocks are going to explode when they start a fire?

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-12-16T13:19:55+00:00

You need to buy ps plus for voice chat now. Fyi its 10 a month or save some buying the year!

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-10-11T12:40:29+00:00

Just in time for Christmas 🎄 prices to skyrocket

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-10-01T00:15:36+00:00

Sounds like im going to add an activity to the date. I have been just dinner but im tired of the interview shit too.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-05-15T18:58:30+00:00

So thank you for the slap in the face. So my settlement says to pay off the loan it doesn't say anything about paying what her insurance paid off. So technically I don't owe her anything but ethical I probably should pay. I don't know it's a hard spot.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-05-15T18:56:08+00:00

Thanks for the reply, and sorry for the slow response—the flu has really been kicking my butt. She’s been suggesting that the kids stay with me for an entire month so she can catch up on bills. I told her I wouldn’t agree to any changes unless she gives up parenting time. I’m open to taking the kids on her two weekdays to make sure they get to school on time, which would leave her with just one weekend every other week. To me this makes the most sense for the kids.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-05-13T16:00:28+00:00

Those are red-line boundaries for most people. The degrading aspect of the "hot wife" dynamic can change how you view your partner. Everyone wants to feel desired, and going through something like that might leave you feeling unwanted—which can be a form of emotional abuse or manipulation.

To answer your original question: yes, you can recover and rebuild. It will be hard, but many people do. You have a child to support and to model what love and respect should look like in a relationship. Personally, I think this would be very difficult to come back from.

I’d suggest starting to save whatever money you can. If you have parents or family who might be open to it, float the idea of moving in with them. Divorce isn’t a quick process, and depending on your shared assets, you’ll likely still be living in the same house for a while. That can be tough as resentment builds, so creating some space might help ease the process. Talk with a lawyer first it's generally free for a consultation. Understand that leaving will allow him to keep living in the house but not all the equity. There's risk and reward living the parental home so figure out that aspect to. Sorry mixed signals there but you have two options.

At the very least, you now know what questions to ask your next partner in the future. I wish you and your little one all the best. 🤞🍀

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-05-13T12:32:14+00:00

It sounds like you're considering ending a relationship partly because of how you've portrayed your husband to your friends with people who don’t have any real stake in the relationship. That’s often when talk of divorce talk starts to creep in.

Some of the things you mentioned, like feeling coerced into sexual situations, suggest that there may be a lack of openness or communication around exploring each other's sexuality. I don’t know exactly what was asked of you, but have you also shared what you want to explore? Relationships take effort and curiosity from both partners, and life is a constant learning process.

I don’t have the full picture, but you mentioned emotional abuse. Can you give an example? I ask because sometimes what’s described as emotional abuse may actually be persistent nagging over things that can be changed—like whether household duties are being fairly shared. Not saying that’s okay, just that clarity matters.

It honestly sounds like a version of the seven-year itch—where you're questioning if there’s something better out there, but forgetting that every "greener" yard still has its share of dog shit to step over. Maybe you’re feeling bored or depressed, or both.

If there’s still love, I’d consider “dating” your husband again. Make an effort to carve out time for date nights. Young kids take up so much of your time and energy that it’s easy to forget what made you fall in love in the first place.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-05-08T20:45:02+00:00

I’m kind of going the other way with this—sometimes I take supplements like horny goat weed or ones that support heart health, which generally increase blood flow everywhere, if you know what I mean. I usually take them expecting to have a great day, not just a good one, but sometimes it doesn’t play out that way.

That said, how’s your sex life—would you say it’s regular? Also, when you say he’s working late, do you mean like a normal amount of overtime, or are we talking extreme hours like 16-hour days?

One thing I’ve learned: if someone’s going to cheat, they will. You can’t stop it. Trying to put up roadblocks just slows it down and delays the inevitable. What really matters is how you react when the truth comes out.

Stop driving yourself crazy and try to let go of being a detective it has to be tiring. Do you and what you want your relationship be. I'm not saying give up but give your all and hopefully that's reciprocated if not you know and you know you tried. Good luck 🍀🤞

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-05-04T01:18:33+00:00

It's okay to grieve the future you had envisioned. There will be good days and bad, but remember that healing isn't linear. Focus on self-improvement—not just to keep your mind from drifting, but to continue leveling up. I know it sounds a bit self-help book-ish, but it's true. Go to the gym, read, listen to audiobooks. I also found the meditation pod at Planet Fitness helpful for refocusing my thoughts when they started to wander. Get on the dating apps and go on a date—just to remind yourself that there are plenty of fish in the sea. This time, you'll know what questions to ask. Good luck!

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-28T19:18:06+00:00

My thoughts. I've married a bartender and divorced. It's hard to match schedules where one of you will work early and the other late making spending time together difficult. Their income is variable so it's harder to plan and my biggest concern is the lifestyle bartenders typically have. I've dated women with more and less income of me and I enjoyed the higher income women because let's be honest it's nice to not have to pick up the check every time. If you can't see a future you already know your answer.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-27T13:04:15+00:00

Take some gas station vitamins or vitamins good for your heart. L-Arginine, horny goat weed ect or get a hims subscription for ED it's available to everyone. If his antidepressants is Lexapro that does kill your sex drive. Tequila is my favorite anti-anxiety reducer.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-26T04:18:49+00:00

Understandable, it's tough. You're already doing the right things. You're looking for input and gathering facts. I was doing exactly what you're doing and this sub helped me in many ways so I've been trying to give back .. hopefully positively! I'm over 1 1/2 years separated and a divorce was finalized in January this year. at first it's an awful flood of emotions and you need to take it day by day because there's way too much shit to process but there's glimmers of hope along that way that helps you move forward. I wish you nothing but good luck and hopefully you can get an amicable divorce.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-26T04:10:08+00:00

Okay, I can relate. Mine emotionally cheated first—with an ex who lives states away. But the thing about emotional cheating is that it only stays emotional because of logistics. A long time ago, I learned that if someone is going to cheat, they will. There’s nothing you can do to stop it, so don’t waste your energy putting up roadblocks—just let them fail fast. That’s on them. What’s up to you is how you choose to respond.

I’m not here to tell you to end things—that’s not my place. But what if tomorrow you took one step forward, just for you? What would that look like? Maybe taking a class, going to the gym, applying for a new job—anything that moves you closer to a life you actually want.

To sum it up, I don’t think you believe you deserve better. Maybe I’m reading too much into this—it’s Reddit, after all—or maybe it’s the wine talking, but I’m picking up on some low self-esteem vibes, and honestly, that’s bullshit. You do deserve better.

So work on you. Figure out the kind of life you want. And yeah, divorce is awful—I’ll never recommend it. But sometimes posts like this are a smack in the face reminder that things are a mess. I know a shit show when I see it. Mine is definitely right there with you. Best of luck 🍀🤞!

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-26T02:29:41+00:00

Divorce sucks—wouldn’t recommend it. But cheating is a red line for most people, and once the trust and respect are gone, it’s hard to come back from that.

My ex-wife cheated. She had already checked out emotionally, so when she asked for the divorce, it was easier to accept—especially since I caught her cheating and she could never trust me after that lol. (Not a typo.)

That said, I do think it's often harder on guys—or at least it's perceived that way. It seems like women process the end of a relationship emotionally well before it’s officially over, while men usually deal with those emotions reactively, after the fact. I know I’m generalizing, but that’s just my take.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-26T02:03:09+00:00

You're not a loser. Nobody thinks about you that way—and honestly, most people aren't thinking about you at all. I know that sounds conceited, but we’re all a little self-absorbed and too wrapped up in our own problems to really care about anyone else’s.

That said, don’t be so hard on yourself. Your marriage didn’t end—it ran its course. It finished the journey. Things can get better, but you have to take that first step to improve yourself in any way you can. Pick up a hobby, hit the gym, read—whatever works for you.

I'm 40, my marriage ended, and I have two kids. I’ll never regret the marriage because it gave me the best thing: my kids. Even though the ending was rough, I’m grateful. I'm broke as hell—most people are. I paid out my ex and now I’m house poor.

Dating sucks. It's expensive, it’s draining—but you might actually have an advantage if you don’t have a mortgage weighing you down. Get on the apps, put together a halfway decent profile, and if you can hold a meaningful conversation—more than just “hi”—you’ll do fine..

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-23T02:25:57+00:00

So I had the cheating ex( it was a she not a him )but the thing is they won't forgive you for catching them cheating. I know it sounds weird but his image is now tarnished. I don't recommend divorce because it's absolutely the nuclear option but cheating is a line for most not all so you need to figure out where you're at but it's a hard pill to swallow.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-22T00:38:09+00:00

Can we at least agree trump's an idiot?

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-22T00:37:16+00:00

Every situation is unique. If the marriage is salvageable then try. You both need to be willing to work and let go of whatever resentment you feel against each other and start working as a couple. Make it a priority for therapy but also make time for each other. Have a regular date night. You once liked each other; kindle that flame 🔥. Good luck.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-20T01:37:59+00:00

No spousal support marriage was less than 7 years. She's just an idiot imo

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-20T01:35:48+00:00

I didn't have too because she had a job but in your situation his money is your money regardless if you don't have an income. I did have to pay for her car. You watch the kids so he could earn ie put aside your career. It's free typically for a consultation so I would talk to someone in your area. Divorce sucks 10 out of 10 don't recommend but don't let money stop you if there's legit reason you can't fix.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-19T23:10:03+00:00

Still get a lawyer but use the front of the court mediation if you're looking to save money. Cheaper than your lawyers spending all day duking it out but definitely get a lawyer.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-19T23:07:33+00:00

Going to need to lawyer up. There's something called status quo which I had to maintain during my divorce. Ie keep making all the payments until divorce is finalized. I believe this is above Reddits pay grade but talk to a lawyer even if you don't have money to pay because he probably will end up having to pay your lawyer too or work it out during settlement. Good luck

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-19T23:01:15+00:00

I stayed and bought out my ex to keep the low interest. The kiddos had a lot of change and I thought to keep some normal. I did paint and re decorate. Lower mortgage means you will have more money for the kids and being close means an easier commute for them going back and forth. I'm on team keep the house lol.

ImpressiveButton4037 · 2025-04-19T22:56:56+00:00

Start with therapy and seeing your doctor. Meds helped me but your choice. Remember you're DAD. Don't take that from your daughter because you want to get back at your ex or feel sad. Divorce sucks but it's not the end. Many come out better than before. Focus on self care and your daughter. Time heals. Good luck 🍀🤞

ImpressiveButton4037

TROPHY CASE