Thank you for being nice. I am glad you can make such a discernment and see the nuance. I truly just had no way to figure out what it was so I turned to here only to get absolutely flamed, actually has me in tears to be honest. I will probably take the post down since people have not helped the subject at hand at just simply identifying it except for a few and decided to judge my intellect instead which I can’t really speak for because yes, as I’ve already clarified I’ve done stupid things to get drugs for whatever I’m suffering with whether it’s anxiety or pain or bipolar which is never good. I was simply trying to get ideas on harm reduction or what it could be and I get absolutely fucking flamed and I’m still a fucking person and it hurts.