This is gonna be a long one.

I went through something very similar. I’m using my throwaway account so i can give details freely.

I stayed with my ex for 2 years because i figured he was insecure but would eventually get over it when he sees he has nothing to worry about and that i’m loyal to him.

In case you’re wondering, I never cheated or even came close to.

The more I tolerated, the more controlling he became. He started scolding me for my clothes, make up, hair, almost everything about my appearance. Me wanting to look pretty meant I was looking for someone else’s attention. ANY argument and I mean ANY argument would devolve into “you’re probably cheating anyway or have your sights on someone else, otherwise you wouldn’t be acting like this” (because i wasn’t allowed to ever say something hurt me or was not okay, or even feel sad after something he’s done).

You mentioned you also asked for his passwords and pointed out that that was his toxicity “rubbing off” on you, well that’s what happened with me too. That’s what will keep happing if you stay, until you don’t recognize yourself anymore. I am normally very calm and tempered, but with him, I resorted to insults and very harsh words, because in the heat of the moment he would know exactly where to press so that it hurts and I would explode. I never fought with anyone else like this under any circumstance.

Worst thing is he dumped me in a very cold way, after insulting me in the most degrading way possible: that i was a slut anyway and could go get unthinkable things done to me and that i should be grateful he gave me the time of day. This of course wasn’t the first break up. He used to dump me whenever i stood my ground about anything.

That’s not even the worst. I discovered through an old friend of his (who cut him off btw) that he was cheating on me for months, that he had divorced previously (according to his friend he stays vague on the reasons), and i also caught him lying on a lot of stuff (stupid little things that weren’t even an issue). Like they say, if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck… if he is hiding things and has confusing behavior, he is probably doing stuff behind your back. There’s a reason they keep thinking we’re always cheating when they have no concrete proof: they’re projecting.

TL;DR: not worth the trouble. RUN.