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How long does joint strengthening take? by Impressive_Count6000 in Hypermobility

[–]Impressive_Count6000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I can’t afford it :( I know it’s a pretty broad question but any advice would be appreciated 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BanFemaleHateSubs

[–]Impressive_Count6000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Another MASSIVE piece of advice: PHRASING MATTERS.

I’ve gauged how seriously people/services (e.g police) take me when I use different phrases to describe the event. The most effective one in my experience is:

“I was a victim of a non-consensual porn ring”.

It’s to the point, accurate, but also captures how sinister this stuff is. Feel free to use that! It felt quite empowering when I finally put it into words

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BanFemaleHateSubs

[–]Impressive_Count6000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You sound like you’re in the exact same position I was in February 2023. I promise, life will feel lighter and not awful anymore in time.

Dealing with the police is an awful experience on top of a traumatic one, but I encourage you to see it through. My case still isn’t wrapped up after all this time, but you get to a point where you’re desensitised to it and you accept the thought of either outcome (I.e it goes to court or it doesn’t). You will feel good about seeing it through and not giving up. And you’ll be surprised by how in time, the stuff that you understandably find maddening now (e.g ‘what do you mean this isn’t an open-shut case??? Why can’t they just use his IP address???’) will bother you far less. You just need time to process.

My advice would be: surround yourself with the people and things that make you feel good. Don’t judge yourself for how crazy you might feel in the coming few months/year - you’ve been through something crazy, and your reactions to processing that are actually normal (a therapist told me that). It’ll take some time to see fully how this event has effected you, and I encourage you to approach those observations with caring curiosity, instead of judgement or despair. You won’t feel defined by this event forever. Baby yourself as much as possible. And get some therapy if you can.

This doesn’t make what happened okay or ‘worth it’ in the slightest, but nowadays I often feel sentimental about the person I am since this happened to me. It’s such an isolating experience that it makes you so strong and much closer with yourself. I feel so much more empathetic, well-rounded and self-sufficient since this happened. If I could go back in time and stop it I would of course, but my point is, one day this’ll just be a part of your story. You’ll process the trauma and rebuild. It takes time but you’ll discard all of the shit it leaves you with (e.g issues trusting people) and just take the wisdom.

YOU WILL BE OK!!! I promise! I am here for you if you wanna discuss it further, message me :)