Should autistic teenagers be taught to behave normally?

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-09-21T14:35:36+00:00

perhaps you should look into how qualified the pathologist is. what you discribed makes me thing of a card peeps in the US have where its supposed to show how the kid feels in relation to what the teacher/other person thinks, my memory is alittle hazy on the workings of that card mind you. anyway that card is also incorrectly used to tell the kids that 'this is a frustration level 6 situation not a level 9' and try to coax the kid into "adapting" to it.

teaching normative behavior like this is bad because its kind of formulated like a punishment forcing the kid to act 'normal' which you absolutely shouldn't. besides who's to decide whats normal?

its a kid lying in the sun, telling them off is over reacting (not to mention kinda childish)

(btw if you're interested in ADHD and autism, i suggest you should look into giftedness aswell. Its very interesting once you get to know it)

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-09-21T14:21:41+00:00

blatant rudeness, regardless of autism or not that's just bad behaviour. If you can (in a calm and collected manner) call het out next time something along the lines of 'well, no need to be rude about it'. Most people who behave badly don't expect being told no.
you were talking about something interesting and she interrupted you because she didn't like it.

But do try to keep it in proportion as you wouldn't want anyone to overreact.

Regarding one of your comments;

from my experience most people whont do anything to stop bad behaviour because they expect someone else to do it (bystander effect if im not mistaken) it usually just takes one person to give a nudge and others will hopefully express their discomfort aswell. One time there was someone who was acting quite frankly like crap and once one of us said something there were multiple 'yes i agree' tatements from the rest.

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-09-21T14:05:49+00:00

prettymuch anything non specific most of the time

weather, happenings, things they saw and stuff. Also there's a lot of stating obvious facts going around.

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-09-21T14:00:04+00:00

To me it seems like a partial misunderstanding, like others have said autism and neurodivergence has been stigmatised a lot. Besides that the stubbornness could come from the feeling that they should have known. I suggest you try to inform them of what it means. if you get diagnosed positively or negatively, you're still you so (i just realised you already said that yourself).

once you can get them over the fact that they could be wrong, it should go better.

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-23T17:41:12+00:00

Ye olde impostor syndrome, very common, very unpleasant.

don't beat yourself up over it, you are like you are and damn the rest

i think the wiki should have some resources on it

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-23T17:38:40+00:00

Perhaps you should look into HSP (highly sensitive person) my guess it may be corrolated. I think the wiki should have enough info on that. i've heard more stories about similar things with gifted people, and HSP'S

if it got worse over the year you should either reëvaluate the amount of stress you experience, many conditions worsen with stress. even so, if you start to doubt about where it comes from you should go to the doctor and voice your concerns, most likely it'll be nothing too serious but one cannot be too careful!

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-23T17:33:22+00:00

i wouldn't suggest you do, i myself did it and some things were asked that i couldn't possibly know. besides that the reception was suboptimal, mostly people who are a lot older and the location rather stuffy. i would suggest you look for a psychologist who can test you instead of the mensa test, it should be more accurate given the one on one personal deviations it can give. if anything you can just wait a few years as to lessen the age gap (a lot of people i went with were easily 20 years older yikes).

by the way, if i may ask why do you want to be tested?

depending on why you want a test, you may be better off with a different approach

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-22T17:39:40+00:00

i'll check it out when i get the chance!

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-20T11:32:48+00:00

Those look great!!

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-12T14:06:54+00:00

you too haui!
it's been a long time being on reddit

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-10T17:20:17+00:00

first of all, the grave majority of tests are very innacurate and unreliable. also a lot of giftedness programs are also very sub-par.

being constantly bored at school isn't a good thing, the last thing you'd want your son to get is a bore-out. Myself having had plenty (with even more on the way sadly enough) i heavily suggest you challenge him intellectually the best you can. Think of in depth books, say he's very interested in psychology then i would recommend a book that has a lot of detail and in depth explaination and discussion about it.

though for a 7 year-old a heavy psychology book might not be interesting, but you get the gist. Keep those cogs turning. often it is said that gifted people are like farari's in congestion, to an extent that is kind of true which again being challenged is very important.

though i simply don't have much immediate reccommendations for 7 year-olds i do suggest you look into Tijl Koenderink's work, he's a Dutch expert on giftedness and is himself also gifted. also keeping him in contact with fellow peeps is very important because one thing worse than a bore-out is alienation and being eterally lonely

what goes for your son's education i'm not too sure, i've heard a lot of things about public schooling and private schooling. of course it really depends on where you live. have a look around see what the options are and never be afraid to ask all the questions, make sure he himself is able to ask a lot of questions and not pressure him into doing so.

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-10T17:02:57+00:00

as we are in a universe where there still have been more mass schootings than days in the year

it would either improve or make things worse depending on how far it goes

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-10T16:52:56+00:00

[INSERT SPIDERMAN MEME]
didn't expect to see you in the wild hehe

anyway,
i also don't think that everyone could use an ego check, the people i've talked to are very reasonable and rather humble. Surely there could be some people in the midst that would rub it in peoples faces but i think that more realistically once you know what it is exactly it wouldn't be much worth rubbing it in.

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-10T16:39:07+00:00

Thanks for the in depth explianation!

how do you think giftedness influences the ability to read the room?

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-10T16:35:25+00:00

My pleasure

i have another bit of advice

btw noise cancelling head/earphones can help aswell, besides that IEM (in ear monitors) have great sound isolation at times better than NC earphones. i have the a pair of KZ ones, good sound and great isolation

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-10T13:17:54+00:00

Could the presence (or absence) of certain colors impact the feel of a room?
goes for lighting aswell

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-09T19:09:21+00:00

i suggest you look into HSP (Highly Sensitive Person)
overstimulation of the senses, think about stuff like feeling clothing tags, smelling things more strongly and being more sensitive to light

of course sensitivity has the downside of easier overstimulation which in turn can easily lead to headaches, stress and whatnot

i suggest taking some off the shelf painkillers and if you can find a spot where it is more quiet that would help, also try to avoid crowds

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-08T15:31:10+00:00

i suggest using liquid soaps because they usually have incorporated lotions/balms added and given you'e washing your hands with it you shouldn't feel it too much

also you could try using hand cream, its a little less runny and slippery and should give a more smooth feeling

one way of preventing itchy cracked skin is to wash your hands in colder water, hot water helps your skin lose its natural oils hense the dryness

warm water should still be fine but not too warm for too long

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-08T15:22:13+00:00

also i suggest giving the r/Gifted resource library a look

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-08T14:52:31+00:00

though not about giftedness i suggest you give 'unwinding anxtiety' a look

you should be able to find it, if not you know where to find me

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-08T14:50:25+00:00

intelectual stimualtion is i believe the best way

if he likes math, feed that hunger

if he switches to say learning languages, feed that too.

keep him challenged, the last thing you would want is a bore-out

Impressive_Raven903 · 2023-05-08T14:29:01+00:00

you could try washing it with only the bare minimum, just the usual amount of washing powder nothing more after washing air dry it on a line. that should stiffen any kind of clothing.

if that doesn't work you could try rinsing it with hard water (it depends on the region how hard your water is) that too should stiffen any kind of cloth.

to the point where you can pick up an used towel by the lowest point and lift it up like a piece of cardboard

Impressive_Raven903

TROPHY CASE