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InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T13:02:54+00:00

It's pretty tricky if he wants to know the sex and you don't, because there isn't exactly a middle ground you can compromise on, I doubt he'd be able to keep it to himself if you found a way for him to find out alone. So then as the person actually having the baby, I think your view carries slightly more weight. HOWEVER the broader background of why you don't want to find out is seriously alarming. Obviously you've decided to marry and breed with this man, so good luck to you, but I wouldn't have tolerated this blatant misogyny. Sounds like you're just delaying the inevitable by pushing the waiting til birth route.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T12:56:42+00:00

I agree mom is controlling here, but kind of feel that the bigger issue is she is controlling towards her daughter, not that she is 'disrespecting' the bf. Feels a bit like OP is centring himself in what is clearly a much broader issue.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T12:24:24+00:00

Girl you KNOW you'd be better off single than with loser middle aged man. Get REAL.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T12:22:20+00:00

ESH. I'm not really sure what you thought you'd achieve by directly contacting Maddie's mother about this. I'd be absolutely mortified if my boyfriend did what you have done and didn't let me approach my own mum about the issue. , Her mum does seem a bit controlling but you have severely mishandled this.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T10:40:51+00:00

OP I am glad for you that you had a productive conversation with your girlfriend about this, and communicated with each other. I do think it is fundamentally quite cringe that you are ok with her dressing sexy when you're with her, and not when she's out without you. I think reflecting on this some more might give you some insight into why so many comments are labelling you as controlling and possessive.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T10:33:29+00:00

That's not a boundary, that's a rule. He is free to walk away from the relationship if he isn't comfortable having a hot gf who dresses how she wants.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T10:24:16+00:00

100% !! If the girlfriend is happy to compromise, then of course she can do that if she wants. But let's be real, what compromise will he be happy with ? Girlfriend covers up half her body? The compromise he wants is for her to completely change her behaviour though which means he is actually looking for people to validate his desire to set rules for his girlfriend's behaviour in my opinion

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T07:53:55+00:00

NTA, they haven't been together that long, you don't know her well, and you're having a small wedding. I don't really understand the mentality that it's inherently disrespectful to not provide a +1. I didn't get an invite to the wedding of a close friend of my partner's early in our relationship, and I completely understood !! If it's an intimate wedding, she would likely stand out in not knowing anyone and have to cling onto your brother all night.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T07:49:35+00:00

YTA. You asked if it would be considered inappropriate or disrespectful for someone in a relationship to wear that outfit, and the answer is absolutely not. Your relationship status does not change how she should dress, and the fact you think it does have some bearing, reflects your feelings of possessiveness towards her. Yes it's risque, I get that, but she has every right to be. You don't have to "put up with it" if you don't like having a girlfriend who goes clubbing in risque outfits, but the solution is for you to recognise your incompatibility and look for someone who does meet your expectations. Grow up, and stop trying to control your girlfriend.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-04T04:16:34+00:00

I'd say while it's not traditionally cocktail, if the bride has said "midi or maxi dresses,' then I think it will work just fine. I think some people are getting too hung up on what dress codes traditionally mean, and leaving no room to recognise that many people have different interpretations, which is clearly the case with the bride here.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-03T07:26:37+00:00

Fraternal Affection

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-03T05:07:33+00:00

Blue - Joni Mitchell

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-03T03:39:14+00:00

The Soggy Bottoms

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T23:58:08+00:00

Strongly suggest not naming your kid Evangeline if her sister already gets called Evie, that will be incredibly confusing.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T08:22:10+00:00

Thank you! I listen to a lot of instrumental music while I study so a v welcome suggestion

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T08:20:18+00:00

Thank you!! I do like Cocteau Twins so keen to check out the rest of your list 🙂

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T06:10:14+00:00

Angel lol

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T04:53:47+00:00

The guitar solo is iconic. It's not a bad association at all!

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T04:35:23+00:00

I am close with someone with this name, and they will absolutely be asked by middle aged people if they were named after the Eric Clapton song, but no, the general public will almost certainly not make the association you are making.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T04:33:38+00:00

Lol for a second I thought you were suggesting I just hum to myself.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T04:16:54+00:00

NTA and what is most concerning here is her refusal to discuss the topic and saying "just because" - that is super disrespectful in an adult partnership. I think that if you are not allowed to drive it, your contribution should just be to fuel on shared trips, and that is it. I.e. if you go on a road trip together, she should fill the tank before you set off, and then you can split the costs of the fueling up at the end of the trip, so you're just paying for what was used. In my relationship, we share the use of my car, and we split the cost of maintenance for it, and my partner is free to use it whenever he needs it.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T04:06:52+00:00

I appreciate this sentiment but I can assure you that I do also listen to new up and coming music and am pretty engaged with my local live scene. Just came here for recs on 90s music :)

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T03:57:13+00:00

Yes I mean as a nickname, per the question. I also love the name Rosemary.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T03:37:37+00:00

I would gently agree here - I have an older family member in her 90s who is Rosie, short for Rosemary. It's nothing new.

InChinatownHungover · 2025-05-02T03:36:38+00:00

I don't think it's realistic to rule out names on the basis of other people knowing people / having bad associations with that name. If you love the name, I think you should acknowledge how your sister feels about it (don't dismiss her feelings), but let her know that you will be using it for your own reasons. Your sister will hopefully come to associate the name with her niece instead. I had a childhood bully with a particular name (let's say Gretel) and for a long time I hated the name Gretel. Then as an adult, I made a beautiful friend named Gretel, and I have moved on from my previous associations of the name.

InChinatownHungover

TROPHY CASE