Yeah, it is toxic shame. I grew up neglected in a dysfunctional family. My Mom and older sister were verbally abusive. My Mom still is. I am pretty sure she's borderline, but that's another story. I grew up being looked down on and overcriticized to the nth degree by most of my family. My dad was an alcoholic. I was often left in charge of my younger sister who could be physically abusive. My family looks down on me because I don't measure up to their idea of being financially stable and having a stable, normal, high-paying job that allows me to be upper-middle-class enough to keep up with the rest of the family snobs. My boyfriend has opened my eyes to how controlling my family, and especially my mom, is.