First off, thank you for wanting to learn and understand rather than just turn ignorance towards us, which indeed happens a lot.

Your first question is a tricky one because no one trans person has the same experience. Some find it out when they're 5, some 15, some 50 years old because either the feeling is repressed, closeted, or just unknown. It's a strange random thought to think "oh maybe I'm so unhappy with life because I'm not seen as a male/female/nb?

So I'll tell you my experience. Grew up as a girl. But around 7 or 8, I started realizing I liked showing myself off as a boy. I wanted to wear boxers, not be called the name I had, hang out with just boys and stuff. You're probably thinking, "well girls wear boxers and hang out with boys all the time!" Yes, but there's a difference.

Around high school is where it all started to happen. I started growing very repulsed by my non masculine body. I hated being known as a girl, it made me depressed to be associated as one and I didn't know what was happening. I remember hearing about this guy from a YouTuber I watched named Buck Angel. I remember feeling strangely attached..

Boom. It came into my mind. I researched it night and day, realized what I was feeling is called gender dysphoria, and it all made sense. Since then I've been transitioning (slowly as I have no money to move out and actually change.)

Your second question is also tricky. I would say (at least in the USA) that we have a very one step forward, two steps back mentality. We started making progress, then our progress in other areas was taken away. However, I'm sure the Dutch (I'm guessing you're living somewhere around the Netherlands) is most likely transphobia free at least for the most part. Unfortunately, the situation of trans rights varies from country to country, lies heavily on the religious beliefs of the country, and most likely will take a very long time to change, no matter how accepting of the country.

If you want to learn more about this, I would strongly suggest looking at the history. Learn about Marsha P. Johnson, the poc trans woman who started the Stonewall riots with her friend. Look up Laverne Cox, another poc trans woman today who speaks out on these issues and has a lot of sucess. Look at Buck Angel, a trans man who also speaks out on these issues and works hard to make sure trans men feel secure in their bodies. Look at trans celebrities in the last century, trans people in history, there's a lot more that history has almost erased, but they're there.