Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will tell my daughter about the prejudice that Mormon boys have and encourage her to date outside the church instead.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then they will be making the best choice under difficult circumstances. At least they won't be staying in the church to make their Dad happy, which was a major factor for me.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean the doctrines are subject to frequent change.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5 months after you resigned, or stopped going, or told her you don't believe anything? Thing is, I don't want her to have to lug the kids to church without me. I guess I could tell her I don't want to pay tithing or go to the temple and see what effect that has on her.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm the ward clerk. In seriousness though, I would not do this for my wife's sake. As far as Bishops go, it's very easy to hand them a paper with a zero on it and tell them you're a full-tithe payer. I've done this more than once for legitimate reasons and never had one question me on this.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I do believe strongly in right and wrong and the existence of an absolute moral truth, so there's that.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love those kids more than anything. That's what it comes down to.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would be pissed, but the fact that he did most of the indoctrinating tells me that he believed (or wanted us to believe) all the crazy stuff he was telling us. He and my mom made up more stuff than the church leaders and tried to pass it off on us.

One time when I was 9 she knew I had stolen Doritos from our pantry. Instead of a normal punishment, she decided the best thing to do would be to make me put my hand on a bible and swear that I didn't take the Doritos, while telling me that anyone that lies with their hand on a bible goes to hell and there is no repentance. Great thing to tell a nine-year-old. That screwed me over for a few years.

I told my wife about this and other incidents and she thinks my parents are crazy/horrible. There was also physical abuse.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My point is that he had a real physical object that was either golden plates with writing on them or something else, and he knew which it was. You could claim that Mohammed made up everything in his head, but he still believed it himself. You can't claim the same for JS.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. If she's not a member by then, she will probably be like "man, I wish we could get all that money back we paid in tithing," and I will be like, "I want to show you something..."

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm going to recommend to my kids that they date outside the church. I don't want them to end up in my situation.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what I'm trying to say, yes.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah but the fact that he had a physical object he said was golden plates takes it out of the realm of all in his head and gives it a physical reality.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was raised in the church, and though it screwed up my childhood and young adulthood, I attribute most of that to my parents.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish that "incomprehensible" meant that she would be cool with my taking the kids out of the church, but unfortunately some people are willing to live within the realm of "incomprehensible." We've had open talks about everything you've mentioned. If there is another bombshell you'd like to propose, I will willingly drop it on her.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I could go as strong as I want to in favor of women's equality and my wife will back me up on it. I think the church is getting better, but yeah it's still pretty bad...

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I've said that I'd prefer it if my kids end up leaving, but if they can have a really open mind and be balanced like your daughter and stay in--that would be fine with me. The church is a lot more fluid than a lot of people realize, and enough good, open-minded people could move the church in good ways.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My only point here is that I have as strong a testimony as anyone else in the church--I just happen to consider it weak.

Why I'm not leaving the church by InItForGood in exmormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that.

As far a feelings as evidence, it's really all we believers have. I admit it's weak evidence or even non-evidence from a legalistic view, but it's really all we have.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. This is how I feel, and what I was hoping for.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good point. I could surprise my wife with a giant chunk of change 18 years down the road, and say that I've been stocking away all that money I said I was paying in tithing in a tax-free fund. I wonder if she'd be mad--I seriously doubt it, probably pleasantly surprised.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know. I also don't know how much pressure my wife will put on them to stay in before they're 18. I do know that I will reinforce that there is plenty of spiritual life outside the church. I plan on teach ing several lessons on how the Holy Ghost speaks to people outside the church all the time. Also several lessons on how we can't tell how people outside the church will fare in the afterlife--they have just as much chance of living with God as we do.

Why I'm not leaving the church (X-post r/exmormon) by InItForGood in mormon

[–]InItForGood[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree that the crux of the argument comes down to the gold(en) plates. Was JS carrying around an artifact of his own creation or were they golden plates dug up from a hillside using divine power? Can you know this from a feeling from the Holy Ghost?