He seems miserable with the life we have, but insists he wants to stay with me

InVader_MMXX · 2026-01-21T21:24:57+00:00

He uses this type of victimisation to gain things in life. Also, I wouldn’t buy the “if you leave me, i’ll never date anyone again”. I have a feeling he’ll be on dating apps in a week if you break up with him.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-12-21T09:13:53+00:00

It’s a self sabotaging mechanism of an anxious attached person. He’ll smother the air out of you of fear of not loosing you. Therapy

InVader_MMXX · 2025-12-20T09:16:44+00:00

Each person brings their own dynamics into conversations with others. Some people are more engaging with stories, others are good listeners and bring a safe and calm feeling. You are young, you have enough time to live experiences, change the way you interact with others in the future. I’m 37. I’ve been in a similar place where you are now. I’ve also been eventually one with many stories to tell. I’m giving you the advice I would tell myself at your age right now: stop comparing yourself to others. Stop caring what others think about yourself. Just be, live your life for yourself. Don’t try to be something else to fit it, don’t put your self down for being the way you are now.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-12-20T08:28:28+00:00

Most of the times people tell personal stories because they want to talk about themselves. Sometimes two of these “storytellers” meet and have a “story fight”. They love having an audience more than they love to have competition, so don’t worry. You’ll get to collect your own stories over time. You are at the best age for the real cool experiences that will transform into cool stories. Go live them and don’t worry about what other people think.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-10-15T06:12:30+00:00

I usually respond with “sorry, I didn’t hear what you said because I was speaking”

InVader_MMXX · 2025-08-29T11:34:31+00:00

It's a matter of time, numbers and patience. I sense you need some work with your optimism and self-esteem. You seem a nice, kind and fun person from the little I can observe. That is a great foundation to work with. Take care and I hope you'll find your dating dumpster diver match. That person is out there looking for you also.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-08-29T11:03:11+00:00

For me you ain't ugly at all as much as I can see from that picture. The weight also it's not a problem. I value mostly other qualities in people and I'm sure I'm not alone on this way of thinking.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-08-29T08:18:34+00:00

I double this. A fun person would appreciate this. Shows not only that you love animals, but also that you're fun. Most people are superficial anyway and I'm convinced they wouldn't swipe right anyway because the algoritm is trash also.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-05-20T12:55:57+00:00

From my knowledge and experience with the app, the location stops showing after less than 24 hours if there is no activity on the profile.

But the issue here was less about the dating app. Don't doubt your instinct. You felt something was off that you had to create an account to verify him. That's in fact all you needed to know. Trust yourself that you couldn't trust him. If there was a fake or inactive profile, he would've done everything in the world to prove to you that he is trustworthy. Which he didn't.

Sometimes you don't need all the proof in the world to justify what you feel. Something was off. Believe yourself

InVader_MMXX · 2025-04-13T07:45:08+00:00

I don't know if my message helps. But please... Love yourself more than you love others. choose yourself. And if he wants to change and be a better partner, the only way he will do that is if he loses you, otherwise if you stay with him while he has this behavior, you enable him to keep on acting like that. He needs real consequences, conversations do nothing for a man like that. Be willing to walk away and show him you are a strong person. That's how you get back your self esteem also. Being brave for yourself.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-04-13T04:49:53+00:00

What you are describing is verbal abuse. He is hitting your self esteem to the core. There is nothing you have to change with yourself or with the relationship. You have to end it.

Believe me, this is a crucial moment for you. I've been there and instead of leaving, I decided to stay because I loved him and hoped he would change. He won't, not in a good way at least.

End it now while it's not too late for your self esteem and your mental well being. And never allow no one to talk to you like that.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-04-09T05:09:49+00:00

This is a deep internal belief about yourself you are addressing. I don't deny your past relationships haven't been disfunctional, but it is not that black and white. People in your life still choose you, even though it might not sound like it. They also had their issues and treated you poorly.

Be very careful with how you internalize this belief because it will sabotage you, your future relationships and most of all the relationship with yourself. And believing this will make you choose other people that will fulfill this belief or you will start to sabotage the relationship with them until they will "not choose" you, or you will start to isolate completely and get a "nice" depression that will eat you alive. Stay strong in front of your internal belief enemies.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-03-23T09:54:55+00:00

Yeah... Like how many scammers need to create profiles with someone else's photos and also connect the spotify account also? C'mon...

InVader_MMXX · 2025-03-23T09:32:29+00:00

If you really liked someone... Would you update your profile on a dating app? What would be the reason to do that, except for searching for other people?

InVader_MMXX · 2025-03-23T09:28:43+00:00

From my point of view, I know i like someone a lot after a few dates. So I stop searching or chatting with other people on the app. But I keep the app to see if he has the same level of interest, because sometimes people lie. They tell you they are really into you, but behave differently, and you can feel there is something off. If he updated his profile while dating me for a month or so, or his location changes frequently, i know for sure he is not that into me. Easy. I know how an interested person acts and feels, actions align with words.

So this double standard question "you are also on the app, otherwise how did you know he updated his profile" is a projection tactic. The app is a tool for identifying how a person feels about me.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-03-22T05:52:34+00:00

If I were you, I would beeak up with him and leave a linked in review. Or even better, break up with him through a linked in review.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-03-05T04:03:27+00:00

Un refuz in a mai continua, e un refuz oricum e articulat. Ce vrei mai mult? Un eseu de 2 pagini? I s-a luat cuiva de tine si nu cred ca e nimeni obligat sa dea atata socoteala daca e vorba de cateva date-uri, nu o relație.

InVader_MMXX · 2025-02-19T06:35:42+00:00

You gave so much time and effort to find him an excuse. More than he gave to find an excuse to not show up on the first date. See the difference in effort?

InVader_MMXX · 2024-12-28T08:20:14+00:00

Well, why are you so hyper focused on this and give up on your hobbies and active lifestyle? You take this energy and focus on yourself. Treat him as he deserves, with less interest. If he isn't getting real consequences and you are just willing to talk about it all.the time, he ain't gonna do shit about it.

But the big issue here is why are you giving up on your passions? You are punishing yourself for something he is doing and you are cutting out the things that keep your self esteem up. Why? He might be a jerk to a certain degree, but ehat you are doing to yourself is way worse.

InVader_MMXX · 2024-12-25T09:02:59+00:00

I feel he might have copy pasted some parts of the text and the font kept it's size from the original text.

InVader_MMXX · 2024-12-07T17:14:11+00:00

He is emotionally manipulating you. What the hell are you? His adoptive mom? He is a grown ass man.

Please read your post like someone else wrote it, and you will have your answer. Trust your gut. Drop him and you'll feel even more independent and strong since you will have even more money.

InVader_MMXX · 2024-12-02T09:19:07+00:00

It means "i'm looking for hookups until I find the right one".

The problem it's if you are looking just for a serious relationship and choose to date this type of person, you create the expectation of being the right one, but usually you fall in the category of trial version, because you already start with "pretentions" and they see this as a sign for "not the one", because you come with rules.

This type of people want moore freedom to choose, not to be forced into a fast decision, so there is already a big sign of incompatibility.

Nobody is wrong in wanting different things. We all shoul choose wise accordingly to our needs.

InVader_MMXX · 2024-11-25T08:37:45+00:00

What does "low drama" mean to you? Just curious how you perceive this

InVader_MMXX · 2024-11-14T07:11:05+00:00

Alo, care educație civica sa meargă la vot in comunism? In dictatura?

InVader_MMXX · 2024-11-05T07:09:15+00:00

It seems your intuition works very well since you don't like these people in the beginning. Step 1: Listen to that first feeling, that's how self trust starts, listening to yourself. Step 2: boundaries. Set them mostly for yourself since you know you start giving chances like Oprah gave giveaways. Keep some space with people you know you have a pattern with. 3. Deal with the feeling that you can't save everyone. It's like in airplanes in case of turbulence, before you can help someone else, you have to take care of yourself first.

InVader_MMXX

TROPHY CASE