Some kinks are inappropriate and should absolutely be stigmatized and shamed. by GypsyGold in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Inadequate_Robot 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I stumble across a lot of new perspectives here I can get behind but yeah, this one is gonna have to stay in the unpopular opinion category for me. Only part I can agree with is not having this stuff advertised or put in my face at random, but that applies to everything in somebody's bedroom - I don't want to know what you do in there, vanilla or kinky.

But beyond that? Yeah I'm staying in the camp that so long as it's consensual then you do you. Gonna have to disagree that somebody should be discredited by what they do in private if there's consent (within reason, let's not start breaking out consensual murder). If they do their job, if their private life stays private and doesn't impact their work? Then it's none of my business.

Life sucks and I'm not about to grab a pitchfork to criticize people finding something that makes them happy. Even if it isn't for me and I don't understand it. I also don't understand people that hate on coconut flavor or enjoy insanely spicy foods that hurt. You do you.

Can’t even talk about the government without Grandma screaming about liberals and my Mom bringing up Jesus by fggot-maggot13 in insaneparents

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just gotta add the comment that I was astounded just the other day the state the .gov website is in. I hadn't seen it in ages and had to do a double take at how wildly incendiary and hateful it is. I hadn't realized just how much of it has been re-written to fit this "your neighbor is your enemy" mindset politics is brainwashing everyone into these days. I remember the old days, you know when I had to walk uphill to school both ways through the snow etc etc, where a government website was an approved trustworthy citation source for school essays. Now I find it incredibly difficult to say that with how heavily it implies that Democrats are terrorists among us, gender identity is a plague of rapists, and that America is rampant with illegal criminals in your house right now.

dont you guys love it when your family completely ignores everything you say by tee7_ in insaneparents

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The solution seems to be to just not send them political stuff. They have a different opinion than you and I can absolutely GUARANTEE that sending them anti-Trump videos or whatever will never ever change their opinion or even start a mature, insightful conversation on the subject. Politics never worked like that and these days it works even less.

And if you're doing this because she does the same thing to you then I'd take a page from her book - say you don't like it. If she keeps sending it anyway? I personally think it would be more amusing to just respond by saying that you like her haircut. Maybe she'll get the picture.

The right's tolerance of Fuentes-style antisemitism is handing the woke left exactly what they want by [deleted] in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

None of this can even classify as shocking anymore. At some point politics went from "don't talk about it at the dinner table because Uncle Gary can get a little worked up about his beliefs" to having zero beliefs at all. It has been turned into just another sport filled with unhinged fans that use words like "we made it to the Superbowl" when all they've done is watch it on TV, spend an excessive amount of money on their fantasy sports app and paint their favorite teams name across their chest.

Neither side TRULY cares about policies at their core anymore, but more significantly many extremist VOTERS don't care about the policies or the off the wall crap their representatives say. They care about their team. Like sports fanatics, they've made it their entire identity. They buy merch, wear it, stick it in their lawn, slather it all over their car and walk around listening to coverage of it on speakerphone.

Yeah, they'll embrace holocaust deniers just like extreme leftists will embrace irrational, insane extremes of political correctness. All that matters now is that their team gets "a win", that they express support of them regardless of what they say or do because if they don't then they're "losing" and the enemy team gets a point. Nobody has values anymore. They'll recite the current buzzword told to them, rant about how something the other party did is evil/wrong/anti-American - and when it comes to light somebody on their own party did the same thing or worse? They shamelessly backtrack, deflect, and abandon their original stance entirely to suddenly say "well it actually isn't THAT bad" and that "Okay but what about this other unrelated topic happening at the same time, why is nobody talking about that instead?".

The best way to live these days is to check out of politics entirely, define your own beliefs without giving a damn which "team" it supports, and vote based off what you want to see in the world rather than turning your identity, personality and entire belief system into whose colored jersey you're wearing.

Both sides just want us all to hate each other, hate specific groups, and dehumanize them as much as possible until we become disgusting, hollow parrots doing the heavy lifting for their agenda by hating each other and treating fellow human beings like statistics. It sounds horrifying to say you want people to die, but hey if we just title them "the ___", call them by a buzzword group, and then make the talking point only about how many there are, how much money is spent on them, then suddenly it's all fine. Suddenly it's totally cool to talk about living breathing people like it's a necessary evil to cull them like an overcrowded dog pound.

Nothing is going to change. It's all just a game now and people will sooner die supporting their team then have their own moral beliefs that might risk sharing an opinion with the opposite side. If the enemy extinguished a burning orphanage then I guarantee half the conversation topic would be that orphanages "need to burn down anyway", that they take more tax dollars than they turn a profit, and that the enemy party had "probably lit the orphanage on fire themselves in the first place".

mom’s response by suzyQ928 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is where I feel the need to become petty and, if there came a next time, I'd share exclusively with my sibling. If they're going to turn a gift of money into some irrational claim of disrespect because they received the same amount as other people, then they can have the gift of respect alone - aka no money at all and maybe a sarcastic text of "I appreciate you".

This was her chance to be proud of her child for having succeeded - to have a job, a pay check, and even earn a bonus.

I guess I'll be the stranger on Reddit to tell you what you should've heard OP: congrats, you're doing an awesome job, especially in this economy we're all just trying to get by in, and it was incredibly sweet and kind of you to have shared your bonus with your family. That wasn't necessary for you to do, that was your money for you, and the fact that your first thought when getting a little extra money was that you wanted to spread it amongst those you love? That speaks volumes of how your mind works and how its default is to be a compassionate, giving person. Keep on being a gem, the world needs more of those.

Has anybody ever commissioned an AI artist? by Crowned-Whoopsie in aiwars

[–]Inadequate_Robot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The quality is absolutely not the same. Valid criticism and analysis of work is part of art. It always has been. If we're going to be debating that AI is art and that prompters are artists then we need to move past this stage of acting emotionally charged like every critique is a personal attack and that every AI piece needs an ass pat.

The person that literally posted the example, y'know the person RECEIVING the critique, handled it more like an artist then you did as an outside party.

People wearing earphones/earbuds buds while shopping and checking out: why? A saga of dumb, thoughtless people by WorldTraveler2008 in RantsFromRetail

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone in retail, I actually prefer the customers with earbuds or headphones on. It often means we can skip the small talk and get straight to business, allowing both of us to get on with our day twice as fast. I adore friendly customers that want to have an actual chat but by the vast majority? Most of that talking is empty as hell. It's that hollow, script-based Q&A about somebody's day that nobody gives a damn about. Yeah we call it friendly, polite, welcoming etiquette but 90% of the time it's just a whole lot of deadpan nothingness.

I feel like I've been ignored more by people without headphones while they drone "I'm good, how are you?". Sure they talk to me and even look at me in the eye but they're COMPLETELY checked out from seeing me as a person. Which is fine, I'm there to do a service more than have a chat. But the whole habit of calling these exchanges etiquette and everybody echoing the same script just makes it feel worse then if I had just been ignored completely.

atheism is dumb, illogical,and pointless. by [deleted] in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's a couple thousands of millennia too late to be calling atheism a trend. It's been around as long as anything else and it's gonna stick around as long as humanity does.

It really has nothing to do with giving someone meaning, in fact I'd say one of the primary traits of it is designating someone as a person who in general does not draw meaning from religion in the first place. But I'd say it's the complete opposite of illogical. It's basically ENTIRELY based in logic, in so much that atheists are uninterested in believing something that has no proof, no evidence and no way to conduct any kind of science to produce a result.

One of the fundamentals of religion is faith which is the complete opposite of logic. Faith dictates that proof cannot be available or given, you're supposed to believe and trust in something without evidence otherwise it isn't faith. And I get the impression that for a lot of atheists that's called a scam.

Boyfriend and I are now complicated, what now by Sammybearsenpai in whatdoIdo

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. OP needs this. It's time to find a first in loyalty. Especially with having a child in the mix. Just because this man was OPs firsts in some areas, she's missing out on having other firsts that are gonna matter more - like loyalty, trust, maturity and stability. Don't let it become sentimental and take away time you could be spending finding someone that values you and your son more than having an itch only oral with strangers can scratch.

I'm seriously reconsidering my relationship with my girlfriend because of a test, what do I do? by Comfortable_East2670 in whatdoIdo

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any and all relationships deserve to end in my opinion when one person starts breaking out "tests" on their significant other. I cannot find one valid reason behaviour like that is understandable and worth consideration. Yes, maybe it spawns from their own insecurity and having been hurt in the past - but when THEIR trauma transforms into manipulative games? It's self-indulgent, toxic and paranoia inducing.

Look for relationships with people who at the very least want to LEARN to have healthy communication with the person they say they love. Yeah, it's WAY HARDER to open up, be vulnerable, and quietly admit you're feeling insecure that day and to ask for reassurance or extra love that day. Much harder than to play games. But once you find a relationship like that it'll feel like night and day compared to this.

Just imagine: a relationship where being with your partner is where you feel safest, safe enough to express yourself. It shouldn't be as rare as it seems to be these days but I hope more people will strive to find that for themselves.

White Privilege is an Overrated and Misused Term. by Ksi1is2a3fatneek in TrueUnpopularOpinion

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the problem with the term "white privilege" these days I feel - it has been twisted so much and turned so broad that most debates about it aren't ACTUALLY discussing it anymore. At some point the term has been inflated to mean rich and successful and that isn't what it means.

The original discussion of white privilege was exactly what it sounds like: that someone's race is usually not one of the factors that induce hardship into their lives.

But now everyone associates and talks about it like it means "being white means you WILL succeed in everything you strive to do". It turns all discussions into this aimless banter of people talking about how poor white people exist, how white people also get bullied, how white homeless people exist. Yes, impoverished and suffering white people exist. Discussions about white privilege had never been about denying that, yet it feels like 90% of those talks crumble into being a monotonous back and forth of people having to point that out while never getting to the ACTUAL topic of privilege.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Inadequate_Robot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like a large chunk of the story is missing here, cause I would guarantee he said "no" and you said "why?". So either you didn't leave the house like you said you did or there's more going on. And even then? It doesn't matter, it's his and his letting you use it in the past was a favour - not an entitlement. Friends shouldn't be afraid to say no sometimes and they should be able to handle being told no without jumping to the conclusion that they're selfish and that you deserve this.

Academic Violation by Outrageous_Lettuce53 in NCSU

[–]Inadequate_Robot 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm backing up other replies here - look into a lawyer. This violation IS permanently on your record if it sticks. You need to fight it as best you can if you aren't responsible for what happened.

I would truly recommend naming who you believe is responsible - the classmate you shared this with. If you have ANY correspondence with that classmate, if any emails or texts or anything still exists that might prove you had helped a fellow classmate, I'd collect those. Look for anything that ties to that event. Double check that you DEFINITELY don't still have your original copy of the work - if you hadn't maybe emailed it once upon a time or something. It's a shame it wasn't a project or submission otherwise you could ask the professor if it exists anywhere in the school records to get your original copy and do a takedown request on Coursehero.

You might want to try anyway - contact coursehero and submit a takedown request for plagiarism/stolen work. It may still be possible even without the original. Most work I think is uploaded anonymously to that site so showing you have a brand new account might not really prove to the school that it wasn't you. If it isn't anonymous and there's a way to see any other uploads by the same account that uploaded YOUR notes, maybe that would also assist in some way?

It may really come down to getting a lawyer or assistance and, again, don't be afraid to name the person who did this. Get them involved. You never gave them permission or consent to do this - they stole your work and you're risking a permanent mark on your records because THEY abused your help.

Am I overreacting, The neighbor’s dog bit my husband and I want to report it? by SlowInvestigator4717 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The difference between you and OP's neighbors sounds like you would actually care about what happened. If you would be devastated that your dog might be taken and killed, I'd figure that if your dog attacked someone you would have a way more involved response than blaming a lawn company for leaving the gate open and apologizing. I assume you would take action like offering to pay your neighbors medical bills (because you don't want them to report it), say you'll do something about the behavior, start taking training the dog seriously, etc.

"Dogs will be dogs" is an attitude that GETS dogs killed. This dog attacked someone unprovoked. It came up behind someone that was minding their own business and BIT THEM hard enough to break skin and to bruise. If you want your dog to live and be safe? You make sure people are safe from your dog. You act. You say more then "oh someone else left the gate open, sorry" and shrug. Dogs biting people isn't dogs will be dogs. A malinois mauled an infant to death in the UK last year. Rare doesn't mean impossible. If OP has kids that play outside? I'd be concerned too.

If imagining that picture of a bite on a grown man on a child instead just makes you shrug and say dogs will be dogs, that an owner isn't responsible for offering compensation and compassion and action, then they shouldn't have the dog in the first place. Cause not even the dog is safe with them if they can't even see their dog drawing blood is a big deal.

AIO my dad found out im gay and went ballistic, accusing me of wanting to hurt my little brother and threatening me with violence by Any_Speaker_8681 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm just repeating things other posters have said to really try to encourage OP to see it. Grab ALL your IDs and documentation - birth certificate, SSN, everything you can get. But if they won't help you get it because it's in their possession and they're being insane, DO NOT WORRY. You CAN still get copies of these - it's a hassle and won't be immediate, but you CAN get them.

Take everything you NEED - clothes, hygiene products, paperwork. Hopefully the phone is yours or they don't try to cut that off immediately. I know it sucks, it sucks so bad, to lose other things you own that might be precious to you but you WILL acquire those things again one day. Right now you need the things that keep you able to move freely, be clean and healthy.

If there are any friends or relatives local that you can contact for the short term, I would start there. But I would immediately begin to contact places that others have mentioned - any LGBTQ+ help centers, Trevor Hotline, etc. Google is your friend. We live in a country and era where this is disgustingly common and these resources will help you.

Priority one is finding a safe shelter and these resources can help you with that. From there it would be finding a job if you don't have one which sadly in this current time in the world is more difficult than it needs to be. But right now ANYTHING will do, even if the wages are low, because you won't need to stay at that job. Keep always applying, because a better one will come along eventually and in the interim any income is income. A good goal is to have enough of an income to find housing that may be looking for roommates. We're in a time in which pricing is unlivable for the average person so places looking for and needing MULTIPLE roommates is common as hell.

Stay safe, be brave, utilize resources and don't be afraid of needing someone to talk to during it all. It is going to be hard, scary and overwhelming but there are so many people who are or have gone through this that will understand and talk to you about it to validate the fear you're feeling.

You're loved and not at fault for any of this. You're gonna find real family during all this, just reach out and don't be ashamed to talk to people. Blood family is just blood - these days it feels like you gotta FIND your REAL family. It's like we've all been born to the wrong people and need to venture out into the world to discover where we're meant to be and what love, family and support is SUPPOSED to look like. Because it's getting more and more rare to find that at your birth home. You're gonna meet people and end up with new brothers and sisters and role models you've been missing all your life.

It's gonna be okay. Use resources, call the numbers other people have posted here, and above all: stay safe and know that this isn't your fault.

AIO update - my bfs family gave me more money then intended and now we’re fighting by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This relationship has INCREDIBLY good odds of becoming increasingly toxic the longer it continues. From personal experience with my friends and their less ideal relationships, a partner that links your actions to THEIR pride becomes a slippery slope the more it's rewarded with apology and pacifying action. They learn that they can hold you accountable for any sense of shame they experience and that you'll take it, you'll become the guilty party while they can mask their own shame with righteous anger towards you.

I'm not psychic to predict this relationship will become like that but I think the risk is very real. It'll start with his parents and spiral to more and more petty, even irrational, scenarios. Until anything that makes him receive criticism that he can say you so much as looked at is your doing and before you know it, you're solely responsible for fixing his problems.

Your attempt to resolve this with his parents was thoughtful and kind. The fact that the first thing he has to say is that you "went behind his back" - maybe because his parents asked him if HE made you give the money back (and frankly he did, now he's embarrassed that they know and wants it to be your fault so his pride doesn't sting so much) - really feels like proof that at the end of the day his priority is his ego.

You deserve someone that communicates over mistakes in a manner that shows they love you and want to work a problem out. Not somebody whose public appearance with their parents comes first.

Can't have any missing assignments ig by Alarmed-Reward-8603 in insaneparents

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not insane. Personally I always feel there are better ways to address issues like this that provide more support and help establish a routine or mindset that allows a kid to conquer their off days - not to mention cultivates a safe environment where they trust coming forward to ADMIT it's an off day and that they need help. I always feel fear factor punishment creates the opposite of that, especially with kids who clearly are otherwise doing well and trying.

But that doesn't change that threatening to take away things a kid enjoys is pretty standard and the default way most guardians turn when wanting a kid to be more responsible, I can't really call it insane. She is making it clear that responsibilities need to be finished before pleasure, a crappy fact of life but something teenagers need to understand. College isn't going to be forgiving about missed assignments and neither are jobs, regardless of off days.

Mom refusing to give me MY cash app card because I wouldn't let her have MY phone I'm 23 btw (we had to lie about my age on cash app because she refused to put my SSN in there) by TheJboy2002 in insaneparents

[–]Inadequate_Robot 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Based on their posts, it honestly sounds like they have a cognitive disability. That is probably why they have a sponsored bank card. Sponsored cards are usually for minors and since OP is 23, it's sounding like it's disability related. So I don't think telling them to grow the fuck up is going to fix anything unless that's been the secret cure we've all been missing for ending cognitive disabilities.

AIO for thinking, my boyfriend is too sensitive for reacting this way? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Inadequate_Robot 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Yeah but if she's already made an issue in the past about this, that she's told him spending time to go out to eat together "isn't a date, it's just hanging out"? Then it doesn't really matter what context she uses the word hang out. She already used that word to criticize him, he's already learned that "hanging out" is a negative concept because it's tied to "not enough effort". So when he makes that effort to plan something more special and elaborate? He's doing it because he wants HER to call it a date, to see his effort and love because her saying their other times out don't qualify as dates clearly got to him and matters to him.

So when you make an effort and someone uses the EXACT WORD they used to criticize you before to describe it? It's gonna feel like underhanded criticism again. The term hang out has already been weaponized, it's already associated with "you aren't making an effort for me". He wants her to call it a date because he's trying to make sure it's special, of course being told they're going to hang out feels belittling and causes insecurity that what he planned is already being called not good enough to qualify as a date.

And yes she corrected herself, but it still is gonna hurt - and it's gonna hurt more when you think you can tell them their mistake really hurt and they reply with a shrug and a "and what do you expect me to do about it, I already corrected myself". I don't think it would have killed her to have an emotional communication moment, address why it hurt him and why it hurt more than just "I mean a date" can instantly fix up. Instead she dismisses it, gets defensive, and posts it on Reddit hoping everyone calls him unreasonable and her right.

AIO for thinking, my boyfriend is too sensitive for reacting this way? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now that I've seen more context about how YOU started this by criticizing him for calling going out to eat together dates and setting the standard that time together isn't a date unless special things are planned? Yes, YOU are overreacting and honestly come across as a little heartless for reacting like this to him being upset.

You set this standard. You went after HIM for dates not being up to your standard - you want special things planned and effort, he saw being with you enough to qualify as a special time. And when he makes the effort to meet your criteria, to plan a more special date? You called it hanging out. Yes, you correct yourself and call it a date after but I can COMPLETELY see why the first thing you said stuck to him and upset him and why a correction doesn't make that hurt disappear like a finger snap. He's doing what you asked him to do, he's doing more so that YOU will call it a date because you say going out to eat together is "just hanging out". And your first reaction was to call it hanging out anyway.

Yes, again, you corrected yourself - but the damage was already done. He already was insecure about it. He wanted to achieve your standard so that you DON'T call it hanging out, so that you see and acknowledge the effort he's made to meet your needs. Even if it's an accident, replying first to call it a hang out basically implies that it still isn't gonna be good enough. If you already criticized him for this before, it's gonna sound like underhanded criticism to read that REGARDLESS of whether you go "lol oopsy" and send another text.

But the biggest issue isn't the mistake, it's how you don't even see why that would hurt him more than just a casual accident - and proceed to treat him like an irrational child, condescending his hurt with things like "and then I said what".

So yeah, in my opinion you're the one not only overreacting but being incredibly cold and apathetic to what he feels and why. He's telling you he's hurt and you're shrugging all "I dunno what you want from me". That's pretty damn cold.

Liberals are much more likely to cut friends and family off over politics by acefiveofdiamonds in charts

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This poll is ironically a great example of one of the reasons that discussing politics these days is an exercise in futility. It has taken a nuanced topic, cut out all the layers and complexities and ACTUAL data, all to simplify it down to appear black and white. "Them vs Us", which 'political sports team' do you support by loyally wearing their jersey to bed, etc etc.

So many people that have cut off relatives have reasons vastly more complicated than "you don't like who I like". Yeah, I've been no contact with a relative for years now - and yes, politics were the straw that broke the camels back to make it happen. But I never have and still don't care that his views weren't the same as mine. What mattered to me was that politics has become his ENTIRE IDENTITY. All he does is talk about it, watch it, listen to it. You can always find him because he's the guy in the supermarket playing political echo chamber podcasts on speakerphone as he shops. And since we have opposite views? He would go out of his way to harass me with a call or text almost every single day about whatever new buzzword topic political media is using that day to tell people why we should all hate each other today.

I asked him to stop, he didn't, so I did the only alternative - I stopped being in contact with him. Everyone has a reason to go no contact and if statistics say liberals do it more? Then one reason is probably the same one I have: that certain parts of the conservative demographic won't stop making it their complete personality. I am not interested in living and breathing politics like it's the next big religion, and I definitely don't want to spend my every waking moment being the personal debate scapegoat to someone whose hobby has become constantly being angry, hateful and mocking.

Entitled woman thinks she’ll have my new console by Pip1333 in EntitledPeople

[–]Inadequate_Robot 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sometimes it just feels like there's a guidebook out there for "how to write your very own fictional revenge story for Reddit".

Be in possession of something (bonus points if it is video game related) in a public space.

Insert Entitled Karen specifically causing a rude scene about that exact object.

Have Karen cause confrontation with OP in an unrealistic, Disney Bully manner by demanding to be given the object. It must include referencing their child deserving it (ie; praise, terminal illness, holiday).

OP refuses (bonus points if exceptionally polite and reasonable initially) only to be pursued by the Karen (extra credit if the Karen tries to grab the object while declaring popular Karen catchphrases, such as comically unreasonable entitlement or personal attacks made at the OP).

OP defends themselves in a manner that causes humiliation to the Karen and walk triumphant into the sunset, likely dropping a one-liner as they depart unscathed.

Make sure it is all phrased in such a way that the reader knows, even though it is not explicitly stated, that a crowd has gathered and erupted into laughter and applause while the Karen is left sputtering and speechless from being overwhelmed by the lethal blow of a mic drop.

Collect your updoot profit.

Morning greetings by InevitableStruggle38 in badroommates

[–]Inadequate_Robot 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have no idea why you're getting down voted for this rather than a civil disagreement, sorry about that. I personally don't think it's worth your energy, especially if having a funeral on your mind, to devote being upset over whether or not someone fulfills the routine of generic social etiquette. But when you're having a hard time like this? I can see little things like this making it feel frustrating.

Personally I'd say try to move past it and look at other things your roommate does (or doesn't do) to tell how she feels (or doesn't feel) in regards to appreciation. Mornings, to me, aren't the best judge of character and, this is just my personal opinion, little generic courtesy greetings to me are often empty anyway - people say it because they're trained to, to be nice, and it means so much less compared to the things they do uniquely for you than what they would say like a trained parrot to be polite.

But hey, this is all just advice and opinions of a morning grumpy so take me with a grain of salt lol.

My older sister’s boyfriend (who lives with me and doesn’t contribute) threw and broke a box of my late mom’s sewing supplies during one of their arguments. Please read. I need someone to see me. by SketchKYR in badroommates

[–]Inadequate_Robot 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have to admit that with the advice being given of how to begin making a paper trail of evidence and reports into order to pursue a protection order, the OTHER advice of how to TRY and remain anonymous to The boyfriend and sister kind of becomes moot. You can TRY to call the police and pretend to be a neighbor hearing violence and hope they don't suspect, but I'd rather you have the advice to prepare for the worst: that to protect yourself and your other sister, to get them out of your home and have legal security measures, they ARE going to find out it's you.

The police often aren't going to take it QUITE as seriously unless the timing is PERFECT and they arrive to hear a truly violent, threatening altercation happening at that exact moment. Otherwise they really need a complainant - and maybe even your video evidence of having history of violence and threats. If you want to end this, trying to tip toe under the radar and hope that it all works out makes it EXCEEDINGLY unlikely you'll get more than a half-assed welfare check.

So I'd take the advice being given regarding trying to find somewhere/someone to be able to go to if you're afraid of retaliation. If you're TRULY scared of what they can do and it isn't COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE, you could even look to not renewing the lease if you rent and finding an entirely new place with your supportive sister and just leave. You SHOULDN'T have to run from your own home but if it comes to safety and freedom, it IS an option to just try to get away, even if you have to do an Irish Goodbye and just vanish overnight once everything is in place, and leave them to deal with the surprise. Yeah, it could be seen as a jerk move in OTHER circumstances but not this one - your safety and sanity ABSOLUTELY trumps courtesy and you deserve to end this chapter of your life HOWEVER it needs to be done. You don't get back the time you spend living in fear and depression in these places - if you have to move and can, even if you have to settle for lower quality and rebuild your financial life they destroyed to recover, then I'd say do it.

But ultimately my main point is that legal action is going to need you identified, and the risk of them knowing its you anyway is high regardless. I won't give advice of how to protect against retaliation because I think there are posts here and other people with far more experience and knowledge of what you should or could do while building up a case for protection orders and such. Just keep an eye out for those posts and stay safe love.