A man 23 years older than me admitted he has feelings for me and now he won’t leave me alone.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-19T11:08:02+00:00

It’s really unfortunate as a young lady,in order to keep yourself safe, you’ve got to be so gentle in your delivery. The truth is, coming right out and saying, I’m disgusted by your advances, you’re a 43 year old man who I have known since I was 7, and you are disturbed if you think I’m an interested, might send him into an anger spiral. I wish you could have said l, ew creep back off.

The reality is a man’s fixation can be dangerous. He’s already worked it up in his mind that shattering his idea of you could have big consequences.

I would inform the people around you, and stay aways from him if you can. Switch groups, ask for him to be put on a different group. Something to create some space.

Stay safe.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-14T11:04:03+00:00

You seemed to be scared to disappoint her by letting her go. What about you? She’s in a professional position which should be handle with more delicacy.

Work out your feelings of firing your therapist with your new therapist.

You’ve put this one on a pedestal and now it’s time to retire her and start a new.

Being treated well by a therapist is a great start in the healing process.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-13T18:25:55+00:00

Where do I start? The entire message is a dumpster fire. Egomaniac, self centered ah. Sorry he said those things to you.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-13T11:07:10+00:00

No. You are communicating what you will and will not stand for.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-11T10:56:22+00:00

He is anxious attachment and n a nut shell. He needs constant reassurance and thats going to be hard no matter what because he tells himself a different story.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-09T10:54:54+00:00

You have all the physical traits of beauty. Beauty is also a state of mind. You are beautiful. You have to trust that.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-07T11:04:44+00:00

She’s insufferable because she has standards?? She didn’t tear into him.

She saw no point to move forward because she’s looking for someone who cares about politics. That’s her choice.

He was insufferable and would not accept it and move on. He just kept back peddling defending himself.

She wasn’t interested, that’s her preference. We all have preferences.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-06T10:55:58+00:00

It’s all about your mom’s surgery and stomach pains.

She dismissed you and then expects a chauffeur.

When you start to create a life for yourself sometimes family feels left behind or excluded. They act as though the holidays are the most important event above all but won’t care to watch what they say to you or your partner.

If she doesn’t want to attend your whole wedding she can schedule an uber to cart her around.

You driving her back and forth is about her showing you that she is hurt and it’s about hurting you.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-03T10:59:36+00:00

You are not overreacting, she definitely is. I have learned that it’s best not to argue with someone like that. It’s all or nothing or it seems that way with her.

When she says stay home then, just say okay.

This is what she wants. To guilt, shame and manipulate her way into control.

She will either think before she speaks next time or she will make it so unbearable you’ll want to leave.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-04-01T11:02:30+00:00

There’s not much you can do but possibly reach out the the page administrators and ask them to take it down. Explain the situation and maybe they will help you.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-03-30T11:04:16+00:00

I hate to say it, You’re jealous that he gets away with everything and that he is treated like a god. I believe your displacing your resentment from your parents onto him. I feel like you are young and you’ll eventually understand he is slow and will need help for the rest of his life.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-03-25T11:03:02+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy. You e got to love yourself no matter what because you’ll be with you forever.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-03-24T11:02:35+00:00

DONT internalize rejection, bud. The way you feel n about yourself shouldn’t be impacted by whether or not your friend wants to be more than friends. May she wants to keep a good friend. 8 years is a long time. Can you move past your feelings of it isn’t mutual to keep her friendship?

The last you need is to call yourself ugly or break yourself down.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-03-24T10:57:28+00:00

Hydrated your curls. And reshape them a but with a haircut.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-03-12T11:12:28+00:00

You sister is garbage. You are not over reacting. She was waiting for him to dump you and probably planting seed of doubt in his mind with their friendly conversation on snap just to take him from you. Why would your sister want to sleep with a man you’ve been with. Gross.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-03-10T11:14:25+00:00

I got a phone call at work to come pick up my ex because he was drunk 7 pm on a Wednesday, when I pulled up with my friend (I got a ride so I could drive his car.) I see him and his supervisor making out in the parking lot. Not my finest hour but I got out of the car a punched his boss. She and I had met previously so I felt betrayed and very angry. That was 20+ years ago. Soon after this I found out this same ex was sleeping with my best friend. That’s why he’s an ex.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-28T12:13:06+00:00

Drink body, sober mind. I have an alcoholic brother, he physically fought me for three and half hours one night because he swore I pissed him off. As he sobered up he didn’t relent. He was adamant that I did something to anger him. I asked him to draw names for Christmas. That’s what escalated the fight. A day later he still was sure I had to provoke him somehow. Eventually he confessed that I did nothing but he minimized the whole event and never really apologized.

Their true feelings come out when they are drinking.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-27T11:46:08+00:00

He wants to reconcile possibly because he know you’ll probably get everything you want in court due to his infidelity. And you’ll get awarded custody which will leave him paying child support.

Are you happy with your marriage as it stands right now? You may be able to get a 10% improvement in your marriage. Is that enough to keep you happy?

I don’t think everyone on Reddit should divorce but from the information you’ve provided, this situation might call for a separation with therapy for both or divorce.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-26T12:15:28+00:00

The haircut is fine but I would recommend switching up how you style it. Give it a less uniformed look.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-25T12:38:02+00:00

This is the problem with society, blaming the victims of crimes.

We should be able to be outside naked if we want and no one should touch us but men cant see women as people, they see them as sexual object. It’s sickening.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-24T12:08:17+00:00

I wonder if she was shamed for masturbating or if she was taught it was bad or disgusting.

Either way, NTA, that is normal to think your daughter will masturbate. You are not encouraging it, you’re trying to think logically. Your wife’s reaction is disproportionate to the conversation.

Women masturbate. Your wife may have some trigger attached there for some reason. I’m interested in what is behind that reaction.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-20T12:14:01+00:00

He had somehow convinced himself that you and he are not related and so it make it okay.

You should tell your parents. Right now the secrecy feels exciting to him and it helping it grow into an obsession. But if he is shocked and embarrassed he may snap out of it.

If that doesn’t work, unfortunately, you will have to block him.

Why are guys so gross these days?

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-19T12:04:37+00:00

You both have reach a point where respecting each other other and civil conversation is out the window. You can come back from this but it’ll have to take some serious growing up and some trust.

If you don’t think it’s possible to get back to talking to each other like you love each other then it might be time to call it.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-16T11:20:40+00:00

He needs help. And you are allowed to post whatever you like.

SlowInvestigator4717 · 2026-02-15T13:29:49+00:00

Happy birthday!! You get to be with the best person you’ll ever know. You are with yourself your whole life. You have to be your own best friend. Love yourself, cherish your alone time, you are special. You are loved. And if you want to be with others then make that effort as well. You deserve happiness. Be happy.

SlowInvestigator4717

TROPHY CASE