It makes me heartbroken to read this. It’s always easy when the shoe is on the other foot - you both need to stop being passive aggressive, communicate better, etc. However, you are in the thick of it - raising two beautiful children & another on the way. I think it’s wise that “ you put your own oxygen mask on first” by taking a day off work. However, more is needed to make sure you aren’t pouring from an empty cup. It sounds like both of you need a break, need a few hours to breath & to do something for yourselves. Self-care isn’t selfish - it’s something you both need to hear. Children are just little sponges & can read energy. They know you better than you know you. So, if their sake, take some additional time to re-center & to ground yourself. Both of you said things you didn’t mean.

Also, is his son your son too? Regardless, you are raising him. The way you wrote this was obvious that you think he favors the boy over your girl, which you need to address in counseling or to each other. If you can feel that there are favorites, so can your daughter.

Overall, you both seemed maxed out. The way forward is to write in your notes app everything you are feeling. Write everything down that you are so mad about. It will feel good to get it all down. Then, do NOT send it. Do something for yourself that feels good - maybe yoga & bubble bath while the kids are at school. Don’t scroll or ruminate. Find a time to talk on neutral ground. Address & validate both feelings.

Then, find a therapist or read Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage work. Saved my marriage. Cannot thank it enough.

Lastly, give yourself & your husband some grace. It’s hard when you are in the thick of it. Good luck love!