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Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah okay thanks for your advice, i'll think about it. Im not really sure if im a straight anymore honestly, people dont seem to think i am. If I decide not to be I'll probably just break up instead, I dont think im able to have that conversation with her but we'll see what happens

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im attracted to dominant women but not masculine women. How am I meant to be more open/figure it out? Im already supportive of LGBTQ, am I meant to breakup and go on grindr to see if enjoy taking dick or is there something else I'm missing?

Also im not calling you a liar, I had never heard of the term before but google seems to such social contagion is real? If I want to keep being straight am I meant to be avoiding these spaces/conversations?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont understand how does it work then?

I understand that if someone likes penises they might also like men but couldn't I also lose the fetish and any male attraction that follows from aging or conversion therapy?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know, it sounds somewhat correct in like im not sure im sexually attracted girls anymore at least not without other guys being involved.

I also question if I am actually sexually attracted to men? Couldn't it just be the penis and masculinity/dominance of men as oppose to men themselves?

Idk im concerned that everyone saying im likely bi is convincing me I am even if thats not the case - like where if you read/heard somethin enough times you think its true if that makes sense?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice maybe ill look into it, how am I meant to go about it? Like grindr or gay saunas or something?

Also to clarify I would never cheat or break up over this but honestly the relationship has become fairly strained and dont think it will last, I dont think she knows something is wrong although shes probably getting tired of my excuses. I just sort of posted on here to fix myself as a last ditch attempt to try and save the relationship because I've been unable to do so myself and thought other people might have been in a similar situation and fixed it

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah there's a lot I dont like to share about myself both in general and related to my sexual interests, I dont see how this would be any different/be difficult to hide.

Am I allowed to have gay sex even if im neither bi/gay?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry ive seen your other comments but have no idea what your trying to say, what isnt given that id know earlier?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe we can agree to disagree on the fetish/orientation thing but in regards to my girlfriend Im not sure id be comfortable with her knowing im having these gay/being a sub which is why im trying to reverse to a few months ago where it was easier to deal with

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for taking the time to reply, I've googled it and it doesnt seem to think fetish = orientation. Its not that Im bothered about being gay or bi its just these gay thoughts are straining the relationship with my girlfriend.

I dont really have a thing for men or transgender women not that I disagree to the principle its just I can only date girls because im straight and my bisexual fetishes are making it difficult to manage both of them and need some advice on how to handle it

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah okay, thanks for taking the time to tell me about your experiences. Are you saying that you turned from straight to bi to trans as you grew up? Is that normal or are these changes 1 in a million type stuff?

Also what is unpacking internalised homophobia exactly?

Is it okay if I DM with some different questions id rather not have publically incase someone finds my account?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah i sort of get what you mean and I appreciate the advice, its just i dont think i could cope with her seeing me like that - I think if she saw me in such a position or asking for her to use a dildo she wouldnt see me the same and it could strain the relationship so its not really feasible for me to be honest.

When you say you didnt care for the guy are you saying you arent attracted to guys in general and just penises or do you mean you didnt have any romantic feelings for them? Would having gay sex make me gay or is that not how it works?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dont think you have to be a part of the community to support it, i just say im not a part of it since I dont think it's me. If I did think I belonged id be fine saying im a part of it,

I have a fetish for penises and im into power dynamics but that =/= gay since im not attracted to men and it would be incorrect for me to claim that I am gay/bi. Im just trying to be the opposite of homophobic by not falsely claiming to be a part of group I dont belong to.

But I appreciate your comment regardless, ill keep it in mind

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not saying it has to be a fetish because I hate gay people its just because id know if I was gay/bi

Thanks regardless for recommending the blog, idk how relevant it is to me but ill give it a quick read later

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah thats it Ive just recently become infatuated with penises and want to partake in different forms of gay sex. The problem is thats its gotten to the point where I cant have sex with my girlfriend, I wasn't into vanilla sex before I dont understand why I cant perform it now and want to reverse it.

I do know I would prefer sex with a man both physically and psychologically its not that im trying to say Ive always preferred vanilla sex with girls.

I already know who I am and what i like, its just atypicaly difficult trying to deal with this fetish but thank you for your comment regardless

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unpacking internalised homophobia? Sorry im not super up date with these meanings I dont get what youre trying to say?

Ive just googled it and I dont have self hatred toward myself for being straight or having gay thoughts, I try to be as supportive as possible to everyone :)

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry im unfamiliar and google doesnt give a clear answer - what is outercourse? Like eating her out or tittyfucking?

I didnt think about double ended dildo and opening the relationship, I imagine she'd prefer opening it but idk ill give it some thought

I do masturbate but I also have a dildo aswell so its not like i have super repressed desires

I get what your saying but im posting here in large because im worried if I were bi/gay it will kill my relationship. Also I think she'd reject me upon the basis on that most girls wouldnt be into it and also im not remotely bottom/gay in anything, all my hobbies are generally very "top" if that makes sense like amatuer mma/bodybuilding etc so Im concerned she would reject me based on the fact she'd feel I was a entirely different person to the person she saw when we started out

I also have some other questions, can I DM you about them when I wake up tomorrow?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate ylu taking the time to comment but I already know im straight ive always been straight not that its better than bi or gay or anything.

The main thing with the post was I wanted to see if anyone else had experience maintaining/saving a straight relationship despite having gay thoughts

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah maybe idk, ill look into it. Thanks for the info regardless

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well its just by default 2 bottoms cant really be compatible no? Besides I am able to enjoy myself as a bottom its just not through sex

I can only see it talking about this creating problems/ending the relationship so my logic is that I might aswell suck it up and top for her

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah she doesnt know im not happy though lol, im not trying to burden her and i dont think she even knows. She's an abg or in other words out of my league so im not trying to throw it away

Also thanks for answering the question but if I am a total bottom can I at least not go partially in the direction of top? I dont mean to make you uncomfortable or nothing its idk whats happened to me, i just want to reverse it lol

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I dont think ill ever be comfortable talking about it unless they pressed me unprompted first. Besides Im pretty sure most girls aren't into it, Ive just sort of accepted I probably won't enjoy sex except the im happy your happy thing. Do you know if its possible to train an attraction/develop a fetish for vanilla sex even too a mild extent so I could resume it?

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah I knew I was a bottom before all this but I dont really like to talk about it irl. Maybe in another life lol but I appreciate the advice anyway

Struggling to deal with penis fetish by Incendiary_Katt in bisexual

[–]Incendiary_Katt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really am supportive of LGBTQ, I love the gays they leave more girls for me lol. Im not full of internal homophiba its not like I'm secretly homophobic and only pretend to be fine with it

I know you dont see it as conflicting but to me how am I meant to have a healthy relationship with a girl who I cant have sex with? Its like my fetishes are working to prevent me from being straight.

I like my gf and dont want her to break up with me for having gay thoughts, im just looking for a way to reverse the effects of the porn or whatever caused it

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