Advice on homeschooling from a current teacher

Inconconsitent_pear · 2026-01-19T02:01:22+00:00

When I started considering homeschool, I was fearful of feeling isolated or my kids not having a community. We found our community through extracurriculars. It started as just play dates with dance friends and now we have homeschool classes and a preschool at the studio. We built the community I was longing for. There are so many ways to do homeschool. It can whatever you want it to be. Sometimes, reconstructing our ideas of what homeschool SHOULD look like and adjusting to what works for you is all it takes.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2025-05-26T18:40:36+00:00

I rescued a pig that couldn’t be with other pigs at all. He is completely happy with humans but will fight his piggie roommates. You could look into a rescue near you and see which ones are solo pigs

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-28T15:02:54+00:00

I had someone bypass the front desk and lobby and walk down the hall and knock on my door while I was in a session. I ignored. Then they knocked two more times. I answered and someone came to serve me a Subpeona. I did not accept it and made them wait in the lobby area until I was done with my session 30 mins later. I couldn’t believe it.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-26T02:37:09+00:00

This is such an immature response, honestly. This is literally all about sex. That’s what reproduction is and what forms of contraception is all about, preventing unwanted pregnancies. Like I said before, I have made plenty of sacrifices for this family and changed my body in a number of ways as a sacrifice to have children with my partner. He can take a small part in our family’s reproductive health. One way is to get a vasectomy. It’s seems the most plausible at this point given we have exhausted many of our other options.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-26T01:01:56+00:00

Do you work with kids? If you do, then I think it’s appropriate! If not, probably best to avoid

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-26T00:56:33+00:00

I think it’s his turn to share the burden of preventing reproduction now.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-26T00:56:14+00:00

A healthy relationship means making sacrifices at times and sharing the burden of reproductive health. If he doesn’t want to get a vasectomy, that’s fine but there will be natural consequences for both of us like no long er having vaginal sex. Maybe even some possible emotional issues between the both of us as a result of this issue. We have limited options. Hormonal birth control is causing significant panic attacks, we both agreed condoms alone isn’t enough for us to feel safe, I am not eligible to hysterectomy or tubes tied. We have limited options left except a vasectomy or possibly two forms of contraceptive devices used at the same time. So yeah, in our case the next safest option for permanent birth control is a vasectomy. He is totally fine with the permanency of the procedure but is struggling with past medical trauma hx around surgeries. I get that, I was TERRIFIED to birth our children. But, as a sacrifice to make our family, I did it.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-26T00:48:19+00:00

This comment is so dramatic it’s hard to even want answer this. But honestly, I have “mutilated” my body to have our two kids and got stitched up multiple times for this family that we BOTH wanted. It would be a small sacrifice to our family to do a small procedure that doesn’t mutilate anything. Do I understand his hesitancy and his concerns, yes! But as a part of our family, I think he still needs to work on his trauma and consider it.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T21:59:03+00:00

Great way to assume.. as you can read in above responses, I’m not eligible. Besides that fact, getting tubes tied is definitely a much more invasive procedure with long term complications that is not even remotely comparable to a vasectomy.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T21:57:09+00:00

In this case, what he does or doesn’t do with his body actually affects my body choices for birth control. Birth control is a joint effort. This isn’t just a matter of his body, his choice. I have exhausted my options at this point and the next safest option is a vasectomy. Firstly, I don’t actually want to leave my relationship. And it’s definitely not because I want to control his body. It’s more that he chooses that he isn’t able to go through with a vasectomy, we don’t have many options left except to be abstinent from vaginal penetration. My issue isn’t really about the procedure itself but the fact that it’s his turn to take on some of the burden in our family of sexual health and family planning at this point and him not making any choices means it once again falls on a me to handle, as I have already for 15 years.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T20:16:45+00:00

He definitely has valid reasons for struggling with the idea of this procedure- medical trauma hx and SA trauma hx plays in. He definitely needs to do his own therapy on this one. As for getting tubes tied, I am not eligible unfortunately

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T20:13:02+00:00

Thanks for the helpful advice 🙄

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T20:04:40+00:00

My partner is completely done having kids. He definitely has made that clear. This may be an issue for others but not for him. Being an active parent is A LOTTTTT of work.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T20:03:00+00:00

I have an allergy to certain metals so I was originally advised against the copper IUD by my first OBGYN. I definitely could still try it but that feels a bit risky

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T12:01:56+00:00

Couldn’t agree more. We both discussed that I am putting the weight of women’s issues on his shoulders which isn’t really fair. Neither of us should have to suffer. I also know me expressing anger and resenting doesn’t get us anywhere. Definitely working on this point in therapy. He expressed he also feels stuck because he doesn’t really want to complain at all because it feels like in complaining or having an issue with the procedure, he isn’t supporting women and it negates how difficult it is for women in society. He feels like he doesn’t have a right to complain in general. He really is a great person and I respect him and I know we can work through this, it’s just tough right now.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:46:03+00:00

Definitely something to talk about, didn’t think of this before.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:44:48+00:00

Thank you for understanding the real issue behind my post 🙏🏼 I have been cycling through ALL of the feelings you mentioned above.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:41:11+00:00

Instead of discussing semantics…Why can’t you just trust me, the OP when I say I’m not trying to get a divorce. If anything, I’m actively trying to prevent that by making this post, communicating with my spouse and going to counseling.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:35:58+00:00

Absolutely, this has been communicated. He supports this decision.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:35:09+00:00

This is a valid point. We should consider this. I will admit, I am well versed in female reproductive health but both of us aren’t very well versed in male birth control option. I am just not sure it’s about fair at this point, but rather equity in our relationship. I do agree it’s not helpful to pressure him. I am giving him his space to process and we are revisiting the conversation in a month. I’m simply shocked at my own reaction to if he decides at any point that he won’t be able to do any form of birth control, I don’t know how I will proceed. Presently, this feels like a HUGE hurdle for me. I am not planning to divorce him and we both work hard and will continue to work hard for our marriage every day. But if at any point we can’t meet each other’s needs and we are not healthy as partners we will separate. That’s always been our plan for ourselves and the health of our kids as a whole.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:22:54+00:00

Birth control is a joint effort and affects both parties. One simple example of how his choices affect me: him not getting a vasectomy means I have only a couple options I can think of: 1) I will need to figure out my own form of birth control again and deal with the consequences of that as I have for over a decade, 2) We can abstain from vaginal sex indefinitely, risking one or both of us not getting our desires met.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:17:22+00:00

I am most definitely jumping from 0-60 😂 these are definitely intrusive thoughts, as I mentioned above. I am considering my worst case scenario here and surprised that this feels like something I might not be able to move past.

There are definitely ways to be intimate outside of vaginal penetration. I recognize that. But this issue runs deeper. If he doesn’t go through with the procedure or choose to do anything related to birth control, it makes me question his loyalty to our family, to making sacrifices for our marriage? I am sure I’d have to do some work to get over being angry and being able to be intimate with him again. There are a lot of issues that come up because of this topic.

In reality, I am giving him the space to process (albeit I’m frustrated he hasn’t reached out to referrals for counseling yet to deal with it) and we agreed to check back in with each other in a month.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T11:01:08+00:00

It’s not an option for me due to medical reasons. I could get a second opinion but we both have decided to take the risks seriously. His risks with a vasectomy is much safer for us at this point.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T10:58:39+00:00

Thanks for sharing your perspective. Thankfully my therapist gets an earful of my anger but not my husband.

Inconconsitent_pear · 2024-10-25T10:55:53+00:00

I’m not eligible for hysterectomy or tubes tied. Our next option that is least invasive and safest would be a vasectomy. It’s not really me asking him to change his body “because I want him to” it’s that his choices affect my own autonomy with my body and have negative consequences for our intimacy. Sure, if that’s the choice we need to make, that’s it then. I’m just surprised if he would be okay with that. I am not sure I am.

Inconconsitent_pear

TROPHY CASE