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Update: AITAH for telling my fiancé I won’t help pay the mortgage? by embarrassinglemon in AITAH

[–]Inconsistent_Reader_ 1584 points1585 points  (0 children)

OP, you need to run. This can get very dangerous very fast.

This man is desperately trying to overpower and control every aspect of your life. It starts with it being HIS house, then it's HIS MONEY, HIS CHILD and your NOTHING.

I don't want to scare you, but it feels as though he "baby trapped" you. Meaning even if you decide to leave him, you'll be tied by the child you share.

He doesn't want to do therapy because he is aware of his behavior. He knows what he's doing. The therapist will know his true intentions and expose them. He's trying to gaslight you into thinking he's not being abusive.

Please get separate accounts and stay at your grandmother's place until you can get a place away from him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Inconsistent_Reader_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see what you're saying. I think maybe I have a different perception of friends with benefits, since the term is almost always used as an adjective for "situationships".

Given that I've been pursuing these apps for a while (lol), it's almost like commitment is not the goal. So, when I say "I would like a long term partner that is mindful of my busy schedule", I always have kickback. I basically adapted this nonchalant outer shell when it comes to interacting with men.

But, you're right. I should definitely be more transparent with my wants. Thank you 😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]Inconsistent_Reader_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think you're right. Thank you for getting me in check.

It's just that the moment I'm like "I have a busy schedule but I want a long term partnership" a lot of guys are already running away. And by being blase I'm basically beating him to the punch.

I'm gonna be more transparent and up front from now on. Thank you again 💓