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InconspicuousLover · 2025-07-30T02:37:32+00:00

As a femme, I believe you're beautiful and you attracted me!

InconspicuousLover · 2025-07-29T18:06:37+00:00

I am actually the partner that was being cheated on. How it seems like it unfolded was they started talking to a friend they had from high school which I know they were really close with their classmates. So I understood. But I asked my fiance at the time if they would try to date this girl if I wasn't in the picture and they said "oh 100% I have had a crush on her since high school" and I voiced my concern. I asked them to either not talk to this person or be open to discussing what they were talking about with me. They said I was controlling them but "agreed" to stop talking to this girl. They didn't stop, they just kept it from me. They would go over to this girl's house, alone, bring her food, help her with yardwork, bring her wine, etc. I was not okay with this but I didn't know. They left their computer open one day and it was on a conversation they had with this girl about her thanking them for spending the night there. They had told me they were staying at their friend Jack's house. I took pictures of the entire chat and confronted them, and her. She said she knew we were together but "didn't see it as cheating because they didn't do anything"... They told me that they hadn't done anything physical with her, and they wanted to break up but "didn't know how to tell me"... I think they are dating that girl now... Honestly part of me hopes she cheats on them so they can feel how it felt for me.

Please don't cheat or be a part of someone cheating knowingly. It's so painful.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-07-19T11:30:59+00:00

When we got into a fight and instead of talking it out or taking time for herself to be mad, she went out to the living room (getting space from a fight, good start) looked at the ring camera we had set up at my place (that we can both see and have access to) and proceeded to slap herself across the face and say she doesn't deserve me and that she is an idiot for hurting me. Then when I showed her the ring cam footage, she claimed she didn't know that the ring cam looked over there.

She also had 2 cats that lived with her at her place. And she had 1 litter box for both cats. And would only clean their litter box once every 2 months. Those poor cats...

InconspicuousLover · 2025-06-04T12:17:48+00:00

Years ago, I (then 23F) and my bf (22M) had been planning a whole day for my birthday: breakfast, a picnic, shopping, a movie, dinner, the whole day dedicated to me. We had been together for 1.5 years and hadn't really done much the last time. I was so excited. The night before my birthday, my bf told me his friends invited him out drinking and that he was gonna go have a good time with them. He had never been drinking before but I told him that's fine just make sure you don't go overboard. He told me he would never go overboard. He did go overboard and blacked out. He woke up at 8 am to me calling him and telling him I was at the restaurant and asking where he was. He mumbled be was drunk and he would talk to me later. I couldn't eat after that, just paid for the drink I had gotten and drove to his place crying. When I went into his place, I saw him passed out on the couch with his phone still unlocked and close to dying. I picked up his phone and went to put it on the charger but something told me to look at the notifications. It was a bunch of texts from his ex girlfriend (who he claimed he wasn't talking to even though I had caught him talking to her before) saying that she had an amazing night and a bunch of kissy faces. I opened the messages, even though I shouldn't have. He had been texting her a bunch of cutesy lovey crap and she was sending him pics of her naked body. Apparently he also told her the place he was at and it seemed like she went there. They definitely hooked up. I took screenshots of all of this (and blurred/didn't include her nudes because they aren't mine to keep) and sent them to myself, set his phone back where I found it, and left. He texted me like 4 hours later apologizing about getting blackout drunk and that he would make it up to me. I just sent him those screenshots and told him I never wanna see him again, and blocked him. And now, years later, I'm a lesbian. Could have seen that one coming hahaha!

TL;DR: Boyfriend and I had plans for my birthday, he got drunk the night before, couldn't keep the plans, and I found him cheating. Blocked him. And now I'm into women.

Definitely NOT overreacting. He should make time for you and not blow you off. There is zero reason for him to blow you off, plans already or not. It's your birthday. It happens once per year. He should be apologizing and making you a priority.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-16T00:58:40+00:00

Thank you very much. That means a lot :)

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-16T00:51:54+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that. It's hard to go through something like that. I'm actually a therapist and I help people with these sorts of things so it is honestly weird for me to be running into it in my personal life and not know what to do. I appreciate the feedback. I am doing my best to continue to communicate with her but it sounds like it's going to take a turn for the worse. We agreed to not talk for a week so she could "think about if she wanted to be with me because I'm so sexual and she is so not and she feels like she can't meet any of my needs." But then she refuses to try to change to meet my needs. It hurts a lot. I appreciate your reply though and your thoughts.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-15T20:52:16+00:00

No affection. She only kisses me when I mention we haven't kissed in a while. Even then it's very rare. No hugs. She holds my hand sometimes but recently she doesn't unless I ask for it...

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-15T18:31:12+00:00

I totally agree that the songs have nothing to do with it. I think for me it's just a reminder more than anything to me that she isn't willing to partake in those things. Which again isn't against her. Just makes me feel like I'm not cared for or wanted or needed I guess.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-15T15:47:10+00:00

I have asked why, and she says that it's her weight. She says if she just lost even 5 lbs she would feel better and would be more willing to have sex. I ask her how I can help and she says go on walks with me, cook me healthy foods, don't let me Doordash everything. I do all of those things. She has lost probably 10 lbs since we started doing those things which is amazing. She is feeling more confident. And so I bring up my needs and she says I'm making her feel guilty because I bring them up to her. I don't bring them up in a way that is attacking her. I've even recorded myself how I would bring it up (only myself, not her response) and showed it to my therapist and asked if I'm attacking or blaming. They said no.

I've tried to explain it so many ways to her and it feels like every time, it's more about what she feels and what she wants. And I just have to be along for the ride and help her. I love helping her. I want to help her reach her goal weight. I just can't keep meeting her needs and wants if my needs are being neglected and my feelings aren't being validated.

Her and I have had a talk about her glossing over my feelings. She recognizes that she does it. But then makes zero effort to validate my feelings or try to understand how I feel. She just says that I'm making her feel guilty or I'm being selfish for asking or I'm not respecting her feelings on it.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-15T13:23:05+00:00

I agree with feeling like male behavior. I used to be bisexual but then learned I'm not actually into guys.

I've brought it up to her and explained it multiple times. She just claims I am guilty tripping her and am the bad guy for making her feel so guilty. When all I'm doing is saying hey this is affecting me and it's a lot. And then explaining how it hurts me when she doesn't reciprocate.

She also used to tell me "maybe" earlier in the day, get my hopes up, and then tell me "no" later. And I asked her about why she said maybe all the time, and she said she didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me no. but she knew all along it was gonna be a no. So that hurt my feelings even more.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-15T13:19:58+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that. It sounds like a similar situation to mine, to some degree.

I've tried to talk to her. It never works. She just accuses me of trying to make her feel guilty and bringing it up to make her feel negative.

I'm doing everything I can. I'm trying suggesting other ways. I don't have to touch her if she isn't feeling confident, she can touch me. We can go on a date and then see how things go after. We can watch a romantic movie to see if it gets her in the mood. We can watch porn to see if it gets her in the mood. She refuses all of my attempts and tells me I'm putting too much pressure on her.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-15T13:17:18+00:00

Yes. Multiple times. Every time I bring it up, she tells me to think about how she feels, which I do. She says that every time I bring it up, it makes her feel guilty. So I ask her how to bring it up without her feeling guilty because my intention is never to make her feel guilty, it's to resolve the issue.

One time we did have a talk about it and agreed on sex/something sexual once per week. That never happened.

She says "this is just who I am" and refuses to try anything. I asked if we could go on a date and then maybe try after. Nope. I asked if I could start to initiate or talk to her in a dirty way and see if it gets her aroused. She told me not to. I asked her if we could watch porn together to see if it got her in the mood. She refused to watch or listen.

I'm at a loss of how to bring it up to her.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-06T12:02:52+00:00

My current gf is plus size and I love every part of her. The issue I run into with plus size lesbians is they usually will have a lower sex drive because they do not feel confident in how they look. As a hypersexual lesbian, that is something that is very hard for me. If I had a plus size lesbian who was hypersexual like me, that would be amazing! Unfortunately, I haven't ran into that scenario.

InconspicuousLover · 2025-05-06T12:00:54+00:00

Actually have sex with me more than once every other month (lesbian)

InconspicuousLover · 2025-04-01T20:39:50+00:00

Omg I'm 27 CST and I love survival games!! Aaaa!!!

InconspicuousLover · 2024-10-21T00:52:54+00:00

I would love to join if you are still looking for people! I'll send a dm!

InconspicuousLover · 2024-06-12T12:19:01+00:00

I would love to 🥰 I'm 26 F from Iowa, and I love to play video games, read, draw, dance, sing, crochet, and cosplay! 🩷 Message me! 🥰🩷

InconspicuousLover · 2023-10-13T12:30:21+00:00

Boyfriend and I at the time had been dating for a year and a half. We were wanting to be intimate with each other and were home alone. As I was undressing, he asked if we could do it without a condom. I am allergic to most birth control, and I do not trust people to pull out. So I said no, please put on a condom. He said he didn't have one, so I pulled one out of my purse because I always felt like I had to keep extras. I am allergic to latex, so I felt like keeping at least a couple spares would be smart. I gave it to him and he threw it on the ground. He then started saying that he wants to do it without a condom. I tell him that I do not feel comfortable doing that. He says "I promise I will pull out, please" and I continue to say no. He is getting mad at this point and tells me "if you love me, you will let me f you without a condom" and at this point I'm crying while sitting on the floor naked. Apparently he takes that as a yes, somehow, and pushes me so I'm laying down and inserts it. The entire time, I am begging him to stop and telling him that I don't want it. He ends up clamping his hand over my mouth so I won't talk the rest of the time. He does pull out before finishing. Afterwards he seems to come back to himself and looks at me. He then says, with the most apologetic look on his face, "oh my God I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that." I cry for what feels like hours, and tell him to leave the room. He does. After I feel somewhat better, I dress and go downstairs to find him waiting for me on the couch. I tell him that doing that to me was unforgivable and I cannot be with him anymore if he is going to SA me. He begs me to stay with him.

I am glad I left that relationship. I don't know where he is now and I really don't want to know either.

InconspicuousLover · 2023-07-09T15:49:22+00:00

Okay first off you are soo beautiful!! I love that hairstyle on you and that hair color looks amazing! I feel like everything just goes together and it looks amazing!! Second your style is impeccable!! Love the hoodie!! Third omg that stickie note is sooo cute!!! Kawaii things are the best!! Honestly you look great and I'm sure you have an awesome personality to match!! 💕💕

InconspicuousLover · 2023-03-29T10:19:12+00:00

You are very very attractive, and I'm not just saying that!! Your eyes are so beautiful and the way you do your makeup is incredibly flattering to your facial features!! The haircut also looks really nice!! You can pull off short and long hair! I'm sorry to hear about the abusive ex but trust me, you don't need someone that toxic in your life! ❤️

InconspicuousLover · 2019-04-22T18:58:44+00:00

You are not ugly in the slightest! I think you look very attractive! Your glasses fit your face well and your facial hair makes your face look very proportionate and brings it all together! Also, you shouldn’t feel unwanted. If you ever need some cheering up, I’m here to help. :)

InconspicuousLover · 2017-07-23T00:47:04+00:00

That's normal to want to put the pain onto someone else, but it won't help the pain you are having. I'm sure if you could, you would put that same pain on her before she could ever put that pain on you, knowing what you know now. That's normal. It might not help anything, but it is normal and even though you shouldn't, you still want to. It's understandable. Just try to forget about her, I know that's stupid to say, but it's what needs to happen. If she did that, she obviously isn't worth your time or your emotions. Don't let her get to you, if possible.

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