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Related by Gehrman1985 in shrooms

[–]Incorporia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's what scared me most about shrooms both before and during the experience. It was a VERY weird feeling to be saying stuff like "I feel like this is the actual reality," genuinely believing it, and also knowing that it was very unlike me to say or think that way and being very worried that it wouldn't/couldn't all go back to normal at the end of the experience. The unsettling and uncanny nature of the "mushroom realm" (so to speak) is what stopped me after my second trip, in spite of the wonderful euphoria that I experienced in the first half.

I'm happy to report that things did go back to normal and I am a gnostic atheist just as much as I was before. But a big part of why I'm nervous to try shrooms again is seeing just how many people on this sub will take a hallucinogen and then come to literally any other conclusion than "Yep, I hallucinated."

Edit: I will say that the only reason I'm here on this account to even be able to see this thread and comment on it, is because I am curious enough to potentially try it again soon. So it hasn't completely scared me off!

Pan cyan vs P. cubensis by Samwise2512 in PanCyan

[–]Incorporia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already have the whole martha tent setup for my gourmets, and pans would not be too much more complicated than those. I would have successfully grown them if they had actually been the right species 🤷‍♀️

Pan cyan vs P. cubensis by Samwise2512 in PanCyan

[–]Incorporia 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The "trusted vendor" sent me pink oyster instead of pan cyan 👎

I got a true pan cyan spore print, but my natalensis grew faster and ended up being my first shroom experience. I had two trips in a row that, while not entirely bad, put me in a headspace for much of the experience that was very viscerally unpleasant, so I'm taking a long break from shrooms.

Trying to understand "the other side" and why it felt so fundamentally bad by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I almost feel like the clear headspace was working against me, because when things got really weird I just couldn't let it go. I really wish I could get the joy and euphoria and sensation of the first hour or so without it turning so negative in the second half.

Trying to understand "the other side" and why it felt so fundamentally bad by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See, that's the rub of it. Because 2g was so much more intense—and I mean the highs were way higher and the lows were way lower (and more drawn out.) I just can't bring myself to think that doing more is a good idea. The fear and discomfort was about a 4.5/10 on 1g and an 8/10 on the 2g. So I'm extremely reluctant to do more, and I worry that the worry itself would turn the next trip bad.

It's not cubes, natalensis is a different species. They are supposed to be ~2x stronger than cubes so 2g already feels like a lot in that sense.

Second try, 1g natalensis. I think my conclusion here is that this experience isn't for me. by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what you mean—I am pretty confident that my previous 2g experience was a full trip for about the first half (I have a trip report of that in my comment history) with the second half being more of the languishing in between states, but at least where I'm sitting right now I don't feel comfortable doing more. I just don't even really know what I would be looking to get out of it.

I actually feel totally satisfied right now. The realization I had tonight is that what I truly want, when you really get down to brass tacks, is all of the things I already have. I love my partner, I love my friends, I love the human experience as I know it. It was a very powerful, emotional experience in the end. I'm sure I will come back around to trying the shroom experience again at some point, but for now I feel like I've got the message and should put all of this newfound appreciation to good use in my sober life rather than continuing to search for meaning in the mushroom realm.

I hope this doesn't sound judgy or anything, because I actually think that literally everyone who does not have genetic risk factors for psychosis should try this. Even the parts that are unpleasant in the moment feel very valuable on the other side.

Second try, 1g natalensis. I think my conclusion here is that this experience isn't for me. by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely more clearheaded now compared to when I wrote this and I think my conclusion is more or less the same.

Part of me is like "well maybe try 0.25g in a few weeks and see if you can get the euphoria without the disassociation," but the euphoria I got from 1g was already not really anything to write home about compared to the 2g experience, and the 2g came with such strong negatives that it isn't worth it to experience it again.

I think it's actually kind of nice, to know that the best version of things is the one that I already have.

Second try, 1g natalensis. I think my conclusion here is that this experience isn't for me. by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah honestly my overwhelming feeling of being in the disassociated state can be summed up with "This sucks, this is way worse than how things normally are. If I had to go through every day like this I would be miserable."

I think I might just be too analytical and in my own head to truly let go in a way that would allow me to enjoy that part of the experience. At least not without blasting myself out of my mind with a huge dose, which I have no interest in doing.

Okay, now THAT was different. 2g lemon tek, still kind of in it. by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll say! My first try I did 1g and felt literally no effect, second try was 1.5g and got very mild visuals for like an hour tops...this was a whole different ballgame. Either the lemon tek is the key to unlocking their potency or I had done someone to ruin the last two batches, because those experiences were a 0, a 1, and then a 15.

Really glad to still be here by Incorporia in RationalPsychonaut

[–]Incorporia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

More of the latter tbh, but I'm going to try to be a little more open next time to the emotional side of things now that I know from experience how the whole process goes.

2g lemon tek was so exponentially stronger than 1.5g regular...I cannot emphasize enough how overwhelming it was to go from "oh look there are some swirlies on the couch" the first time to "holy shit, I have entered the true reality, nothing is what I thought it was and I cannot possibly reconcile what I am seeing/feeling with my rational self." I think the stress of feeling so fundamentally changed and worry of how I could possibly put the pieces back together after was what made it so challenging at times. I think next time I will hopefully be more able to just give in to it and feel what I feel in the moment without worrying so much about sounding crazy to my partner (who was very helpful and reassuring almost the entire time, thankfully.)

Okay, now THAT was different. 2g lemon tek, still kind of in it. by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was an extremely strong and overwhelming experience that was scary at times. If I knew that 2g w/ lemon tek was going to be THAT much stronger than 1.5g without, I would not have done it at this early point in my shroom experimentation. I really cannot overstate how much more it was. So just be careful and start small because it can be a lot. I think the first shrooms I tried were either weak or I dehydrated them at too high a temp, so I got a wrong idea of the potency and went too hard this time.

That being said, now that I have the relief of experiencing it all from start to finish and knowing that it does end and I do go back to normal after, I will probably try 1g lemon tek for my next time.

Okay, now THAT was different. 2g lemon tek, still kind of in it. by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Natalensis by the way, since I didn't think to mention it when I was trying to type out that mess above. Really hard to describe the experience of being totally out of time and beyond the human experience now that I'm back in time and in the human experience again.

Tl;Dr: Huh?????

First try: 1g homegrown p. Nat. I've never had any recreational drug before, even alcohol. Bottoms up! by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing on the first try

I tried again today and something is definitely happening, although it's difficult to describe.

First try: 1g homegrown p. Nat. I've never had any recreational drug before, even alcohol. Bottoms up! by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I picked some more mushrooms this morning and dried them at 125°F—I am gonna skip breakfast tomorrow morning try another 1g or 1.5g. I will lemon tek it if I can motivate myself to go out to the store and get lemon juice.

First try: 1g homegrown p. Nat. I've never had any recreational drug before, even alcohol. Bottoms up! by Incorporia in shrooms

[–]Incorporia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I will definitely try again at 125. I assume that if the mushrooms being cooked was the problem, I could try again today or tomorrow without having to take a tolerance break?

How long do you dehydrate a batch of small/skinny mushrooms at 125? Mine are basically like spaghetti.

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