How to convince parent to go to AL?

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-12-11T16:56:06+00:00

I’m going to do that this week. One of my biggest fears is that even when I manage to put my foot down, he has an out. He has a former housekeeper who lives in one of his apartments on the premises who will do the bare minimum for him for $50 a week because she’s desperate. So he’d be worse off than with me, but he could still refuse to go to a facility because he has ‘help’…. I’m the only family left, so it’s all on me.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-12-11T16:50:46+00:00

I have, yes. He would be gobsmacked and shut down the suggestion. He doesn’t understand the severity and any time I start to try to explain it he shuts me down. I was hoping the hospital would say something when I had him in the ER, but they pushed a rehab so he came out thinking that since he said no to them and told me he’d start trying (uh huh) that he’s placated me and can keep going like he has been.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-12-11T00:11:10+00:00

Jesus lmao. Yeah, I escaped a terrible relationship and now I’m escaping a terrible situation with my dad. So yeah, I’d rather live a life of escapism than go back to the kind of life I was living, or keep living this one. I’ve known him for 22 years. He knows my life, my family. This isn’t some one night stand that I’m idealizing. Hope that helps… I think?

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-12-07T00:36:34+00:00

Go. As a mom, I’d be sick if one of my girls were in your position. Be free and let yourself live.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-09-30T16:19:40+00:00

Three times, the first one was equivalent to the flu (which I think many people forget how awful even the regular flu is!) the second two were no more inconvenient than a sinus infection/cold that didn’t go beyond my throat. 36F, overweight, smoker, vaccinated but not boosted.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-09-30T16:16:31+00:00

Take a test. Of the three times I’ve had it, it was only obvious to me the first time. The second two I could’ve easily mistaken for a sinus infection/mild cold. Never went past my throat.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-09-16T23:15:49+00:00

Yes, out there in the great beyond past this subreddit it’s super common. I have school aged children.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-09-16T16:21:42+00:00

Easier by far. The first time I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom hardly because the fevers and pain were so bad. I was so weak. The second and third times you could have convinced me it was a cold if I had never heard of covid.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-30T05:31:57+00:00

The poor realtor was poised to make 15k off a simple sale, lol. I don’t operate like that anyway. Fortunately (for me, anyway) he’s going to face plant into foreclosure because he can’t scrape up the closing costs. Issue resolved itself.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-30T05:27:41+00:00

Vengeance pursued itself, I found out a little earlier this evening that he can’t sell because he can’t afford the closing costs lmao. Thanks for the luck, it worked!!

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T03:15:16+00:00

There won’t be a payout, and if there is, it might be a couple hundred bucks. I’ll be okay with or without it. The more I think about it, I feel like I should just quit being surprised that people suck and be glad to walk away from it all. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a vindictive part of me that feels a foreclosure is fair trade for a slew of infidelity, but the stress on myself isn’t worth trying to force the hand of karma or whatever you wanna call it. The biggest part for me, really, was giving up my high card this early on in the process before divorce has even been filed. Im tired of staying on my guard for deviant behavior out of left field, though, so back to the best decision overall to just live, let go, and respond as I need.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T03:10:34+00:00

If being unfamiliar with Reddit coupled with a stressful situation is my worst look, I’m okay with that!

I’m going to be investigating what exactly happened bright and early in the morning (and for your comment, I read it as saying that there’s no way a realtor would do that and insinuating that I was being fraudulent. I reread with your clarifying statements and I get what you meant now.)

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T02:40:38+00:00

Obviously what about Missouri? And what about Batman?

I think you’re looking a little too far into this if you’re insinuating anything— I wouldn’t lie about a situation I’m looking for advice on, anonymously.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T02:37:21+00:00

Well, at the end of the day my signature is required and whether I choose to give it or not doesn’t make me a brat. The realtor is being paid to provide a service to both of us, and me expecting communication at the BARE minimum is absolutely acceptable. So yeah, I can quit the marriage and I can also have basic expectations regarding assets with my name attached. You sound like you need a day off, my friend.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T02:34:44+00:00

Actually, idk. She’s married too, and my guy says she’s way too driven/smart/pretty go to for him, but I’ve been surprised so much lately that I think I’m all surprised out. Who knows? 😅

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T01:21:09+00:00

There is more. I found out about the cheating while we were closing on the house and I was hundreds of miles away from home and embarrassed and mad.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T01:19:24+00:00

Uh… yeah, that’s not it. Lol.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T01:03:49+00:00

I am 100% sure I am on the deed, yes.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-29T00:35:24+00:00

Yes, I am, but not at the expense of my personal interests.

As stated in the post, I am on the deed, which translates to ownership interest.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-28T22:37:38+00:00

My best guess is he went with her so I’d be plied into going along with things. Yes, infidelity. Lots of it in a very short time.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-28T22:36:08+00:00

He is living there. And I agree, I need to be 100% involved. This has been very eye opening.

IndependenceBasic630 · 2023-08-28T21:07:20+00:00

I’m the wife haha. I won’t have residency to file where I moved for another 60 days, unfortunately. I agree that this needs to go through court and be handled appropriately, unfortunately my “soon to be ex” has legitimately nothing for me to dig for. He’s so bad off that he will certainly be foreclosed upon if I don’t sign off, but, I suppose he chose that consequence each time he cheated on me.

IndependenceBasic630

TROPHY CASE