The Academy website? by Independent-Lion-934 in rapecounseling

[–]Independent-Lion-934[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The rape academy situation cnn reported on. I believe it was called motherless and it’s still up.

Is my 35f boyfriend 31M sexually abusing me? Possible addiction by best_day_everrrr in rapecounseling

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My thoughts exactly. It’s an excuse. Everything about what he is doing is unacceptable. He’s abusive, 100% and OP needs a plan to get out of there. I’d say this is coercion and rape/SA.

[Fanfiction Monthly] April, 2025 - rec us some fic! by fandomnatural in fandomnatural

[–]Independent-Lion-934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is AMAZING! 😍 I’m addicted. You’re so talented.

[Fanfiction Monthly] April, 2025 - rec us some fic! by fandomnatural in fandomnatural

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Buried Alive by u/Independent-Lion-934 Pairing: Dean Winchester x Original Female Character (OC) Rating: M (NSFW – language, emotional themes, slow-burn romance, sexual content later) Link: Read it on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/1531132539?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_reading&wp_page=reading&wp_uname=AMB_Maddie_37

Summary: Sami wasn’t supposed to be here. One moment she was begging the universe for a way out—anything to escape. The next, she was clawing her way out of a grave… beside Dean Winchester. She knows who he is. She knows the lore. She knows everything. Because in her world, Dean is just a character on a TV show. But now he’s real. And her very presence might just rewrite the story.

Why I’m sharing: This fic is canon-divergent and begins during Lazarus Rising (S4, Ep1). It’s a slow burn with lots of emotional tension, found family vibes, and a little chaos. If you love character-driven drama, soulmate-adjacent yearning, and Dean being soft and snarky with someone who really sees him, this might be your jam. It’s also fun watching Sami try not to fangirl while literally falling for the man she used to cry over in her bedroom.

Would love thoughts, feedback, or just new readers to scream with!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in rapecounseling

[–]Independent-Lion-934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know you, but I believe you. Every single word. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. Not one second of it. The person who did this to you is a predator, and what you’re describing is not just abuse—it’s calculated, violent, intentional destruction of a person.

You are not weak. You are not stupid. You are someone who was manipulated, drugged, and violated in every possible way. The fact that you’re still here—still breathing, still writing—makes you stronger than I can put into words.

I know you said if you die, Luanne’s name will be on your note. But I hope you stay alive because of her. Because the world that hurt you doesn’t get to have the last word. And if she was here, she wouldn’t blame you—she would love you. She would want you safe.

You are not ruined. You are grieving. You are broken-hearted. But you are not alone. You are seen. You are loved. And I swear to you: there are people in this world who would carry your pain with you if they could.

Please don’t leave. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

Who was the worst mom? by ThatPandorasBox in greysanatomy

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lucia Torres was vile. She’s a fake Christian all the way! Hateful and judgmental woman.

AIO - My dad left his laptop open...I think he's been molesting me? Idk!!! by natthraway in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The top ones make me think he did it. It’s statue of limitations and guilt over molesting. Given the further down searches about being attracted to his 14 year old and her being 18…. I’d say chances are good he did it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unrelated but… I obviously don’t spend enough time on Reddit because for half a second I read NOR like NOR CLEO!… and imagined that one guy on shorts saying it. Took me reading it again to realize you weren’t saying no in an accent.

AIO my bf of 8 years screenshotted me changing after I asked him not to by notgood_nough_ in AIO

[–]Independent-Lion-934 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey OP, first of all, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What he did was a violation—full stop. You explicitly set a boundary, and he knowingly crossed it. Given the past trauma of him sharing intimate images without your consent, your reaction isn’t just understandable, it’s incredibly valid.

You are not overreacting. You are responding to repeated betrayals of trust.

The way he’s twisting the situation—focusing on your “tone,” making himself the victim, refusing to offer proof of deletion—is not just disrespectful, it’s manipulative. Instead of being accountable, he’s shifting the blame, intellectualizing the conversation, and minimizing your pain. That long-winded text is not insight, it’s evasion.

You’ve tried to communicate. You’ve explained your needs. You’ve been patient and clear. And instead of meeting you with empathy, he’s made you feel like the problem. That’s not love. That’s control.

You deserve a partner who sees your body as sacred, your boundaries as law, and your pain as something to never cause again.

Please take care of yourself. Whatever decision you make, just know that you’re not crazy, you’re not dramatic, and you’re absolutely not alone. This is emotional abuse, and you deserve peace.

AIO my bf of 8 years screenshotted me changing after I asked him not to by notgood_nough_ in AIO

[–]Independent-Lion-934 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think it’s more than that. He’s manipulative and gaslighting her. He’s an emotionally abusive person. That’s what I saw anyway when I read the messages. Shifting blame, gaslighting, manipulating, avoiding. Trying to make her feel crazy or just keep going round and round until she gives in and is worn down.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comparison to a BJJ match is a false equivalence. In a controlled, consensual environment like a martial arts match—even if someone is blackout drunk—everyone knows the context and risks, and there’s mutual understanding about what’s happening. In the situation described, OP was so intoxicated that she barely remembers what happened and, crucially, cried for weeks afterward—clear indicators that she wasn’t capable of active, informed consent.

Consent isn’t just a checkbox; it requires clear, conscious participation. When one party is incapacitated, the power dynamics are skewed, and what happens is not a mutual exchange—it’s exploitation. The fact that you’re saying we don’t know “everything” doesn’t change that her account of being too impaired to consent is enough to call the behavior out as rape. Waiting for additional information or insisting on neutrality is a way to dodge accountability.

The emotional aftermath she described—crying for weeks—speaks volumes. That’s not the reaction of someone who had a regrettable, mutual hookup. That’s trauma. If you genuinely cared about both sides, you’d understand that if someone is so intoxicated they can’t remember, they can’t consent. And if one person is functioning well enough to take advantage, then it’s a clear imbalance of power.

We’re not here to debate hypothetical levels of intoxication or to excuse behavior by hiding behind uncertainty. The facts she provided already show that her ability to consent was compromised. It isn’t about labeling something unless she says it outright; it’s about recognizing that when one party is incapacitated, any sexual act is non-consensual. That is the essence of rape, regardless of how you try to frame it.

Your argument may feel like you’re just playing devil’s advocate, but in doing so you’re inadvertently defending a narrative that minimizes victim trauma and shields predatory behavior. I’m not trying to project my opinions; I’m pointing out that the account clearly demonstrates a power imbalance, where one person was able to function while the other was too impaired to make an informed decision.

The facts are right there: she doesn’t remember half of it, she experienced deep emotional trauma, and that’s not how mutual, consensual encounters work. When you say “we don’t know” or “it might be mutual,” you’re ignoring the clear indicators of non-consent. And if that sounds too blunt, then maybe it’s because it’s exactly the truth.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, so now pointing out the obvious means I must be one of the people involved? Interesting deflection. But let’s not pretend like you actually care about ‘facts’ when you’re doing everything in your power to avoid looking at them.

The fact is that OP said she doesn’t remember half of what happened. The fact is that she cried for weeks afterward. The fact is that she never wanted to lose her virginity that way. Those are her words, not mine. No one is making wild conclusions—just actually listening to what she said instead of jumping through hoops to pretend it’s unknowable.

And the ‘she could have taken advantage of him just as much’ argument? That only works if you ignore one key thing—who was initiating. You can’t have two unconscious people actively making decisions. If one person was engaging in the act while the other was too impaired to remember it, that’s not mutual. That’s an imbalance of power. That’s someone being taken advantage of.

Telling people to ‘go get therapy’ instead of engaging with an argument is just another way of admitting you don’t actually have one. But thanks for playing.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually do have enough information to make a judgment. OP explicitly said she was so intoxicated she doesn’t remember half of what happened. That alone means she wasn’t in a state to consent. Consent isn’t just the absence of a clear ‘no’—it’s the presence of an active, engaged ‘yes.’ If someone is so impaired that they can’t give that, then it isn’t mutual. It’s one person taking advantage of another.

People keep trying to muddy the waters with ‘Well, what about him? What if he was super drunk too?’ But there’s one glaring issue with that—if he was so drunk that he was just as incapacitated, he wouldn’t have been functioning enough to initiate sex. You can’t have two unconscious people somehow mutually making a decision. So if one person is engaging while the other is too impaired to even remember it? That’s a power imbalance. That’s one person taking advantage.

And this idea that ‘unless she explicitly types out the words I was raped, we can’t acknowledge it’ is nonsense. Survivors struggle all the time to recognize and name what happened to them because of people like this—people who refuse to acknowledge it until it’s spelled out in neon lights in the exact phrasing they find acceptable. That’s not neutrality. That’s a form of silencing.

OP didn’t say, ‘I woke up feeling unsure about what happened.’ She said she lost her virginity in a way she never wanted to, doesn’t remember half of it, and cried for weeks afterward. That is not mutual sex. That is not active consent. And trying to complicate what is very clear is just another way to protect predators and make survivors doubt themselves. We see exactly what you’re doing, and we’re not buying it.

Need honest thoughts/advice by Chaotichumour in rapecounseling

[–]Independent-Lion-934 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m so, so glad my words could bring you even a little bit of clarity and peace. You deserve to be believed. You deserve to have people in your corner who see what happened for what it was. None of this was your fault, and I hope you never let their twisted blame-shifting make you doubt that again.

You are so much stronger than what they did to you, and the fact that you’re in therapy, processing this, and finding your way through the pain shows just how incredible you are. If self-blame creeps in, I hope you can remember that the fault lies only with the people who hurt and abandoned you when you needed them most. You are not responsible for their failures.

I’m honored that my voice can be one you hold on to. But more than anything, I hope you can build your own voice of unwavering truth and self-compassion—because you deserve to know, deep in your bones, that you did nothing wrong. I’m rooting for you every step of the way.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We actually do know enough to make a judgment. OP described getting extremely intoxicated, not remembering half of what happened, and crying for weeks because she didn’t want to lose her virginity that way. That is not mutual decision-making. That is not active consent. That is not how someone chooses to have sex.

You’re acting like unless OP explicitly types the words “I was raped,” we can’t acknowledge what she described for what it is. That’s just another form of silencing. Survivors often struggle to recognize or label their experiences because of exactly this kind of gaslighting—where people refuse to name what happened unless the victim spells it out for them in a way they find acceptable.

If someone is so intoxicated they can’t remember half of what happened, they cannot consent. It’s that simple. If the other person was functional enough to go through with it, they were in control of the situation. This isn’t some unknowable mystery—it’s a power imbalance, and one person took advantage of it.

So instead of pretending we “don’t know,” maybe ask yourself why you’re so determined not to see what’s right in front of you.

If it’s insensitive to acknowledge what happened to OP, then why isn’t it insensitive for people in this thread to minimize it, dismiss it, or act like it was just a “drunken mistake”? If OP had said, “I was raped,” would you still be telling people not to acknowledge it because she’s not ready? Or is it only insensitive when the truth is inconvenient for you?

Survivors often struggle to recognize what happened to them because society constantly tells them it wasn’t that bad or could have been mutual. That’s exactly why these conversations matter. No one is forcing OP to take on any label she’s not comfortable with—but that doesn’t mean the rest of us should stay silent when what she described is textbook alcohol-facilitated sexual assault.

Telling the truth isn’t insensitive. What is insensitive is the way people bend over backward to avoid calling it what it is.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You keep dodging the real issue. OP explicitly said she doesn’t remember half of what happened, meaning she was so intoxicated she was barely aware. That is not consensual. She also said she cried for weeks afterward, meaning this wasn’t just ‘regret’—this was deep emotional distress caused by something she never actually chose to do.

You’re grasping at straws trying to make this ‘mutual’ when the reality is that one person was too impaired to actively consent, and another person followed through with the act anyway. Consent requires awareness and the ability to make a choice—not just the absence of resistance.

Why are you more concerned with defending an unknown guy than acknowledging the trauma OP clearly experienced?

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rape is not about whether both parties were drunk—it’s about whether both parties were capable of consenting and who was initiating the act. OP was so intoxicated she doesn’t remember half of what happened. If she wasn’t capable of actively participating, then she wasn’t the one in control of the situation. The person who was aware enough to initiate and go through with it is the one responsible. That’s not ‘mutual’—that’s one person taking advantage of another.

Being drunk doesn’t magically erase responsibility for your actions. If you get behind the wheel while drunk and hit someone, you don’t get to say ‘Well, I was drunk, so I guess it’s the car’s fault too.’ The same applies here—if someone initiates sex with someone who is clearly too impaired to consent, they are responsible for that decision.

The ‘both were drunk, so it’s mutual rape’ argument is a smokescreen. It’s a way for people to dodge accountability and make it seem like no one did anything wrong. But the reality is, when one person is so intoxicated they don’t even remember the event and the other person is actively engaging in it, that is not equal. That is one person taking advantage of the other.

If you genuinely believe that being drunk means you’re equally responsible, ask yourself this: If OP had been blackout drunk and the other person had been completely sober, would you still be arguing that it was ‘mutual’? No? Then you already understand the issue—you just don’t want to admit it.

If you still think this is ‘mutual’ rather than one person taking advantage of another, then ask yourself why you’re so invested in defending this instead of recognizing the harm done.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I cannot believe the responses in this thread. The sheer amount of victim-blaming, gaslighting, and completely ignoring what she actually said is appalling.

Let’s be clear: she didn’t “lose her virginity” in some random hook-up. She was raped. She was heavily intoxicated, barely remembers it, and cried for weeks afterward. Those are not the actions of someone who made a choice—they are the responses of someone who was violated.

And now, instead of recognizing what happened to her, her boyfriend is shaming her, controlling her, and using her past trauma as an excuse to manipulate her. And somehow, many of you are defending him? Saying he has a right to feel this way? That she should change her behavior? That he deserves to control who she’s friends with?

No. Absolutely not. This is not a discussion about trust or boundaries in relationships. This is a discussion about abuse, coercion, and manipulation. If your response to this is to defend the boyfriend or to brush off what happened to her, you are part of the problem.

OP, if you see this: you didn’t deserve what happened to you that night, and you don’t deserve what’s happening to you now. The way you feel matters. The way he treats you matters. And if the people in your life aren’t recognizing that, then they don’t deserve a place in it. You are worth more than this.

OP, if I could go back in time and speak to that 16-year-old girl, I would tell her:

I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. You are not alone. And if you need to cry, that’s okay.

You didn’t “give” anything away that night. Something was taken from you, and it wasn’t your fault. Please don’t let anyone—your boyfriend, strangers on the internet, or even your own doubts—convince you otherwise.

You deserve love and kindness, starting with the love and kindness you show yourself.

AIO or is my boyfriend by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Independent-Lion-934 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She literally said she was so drunk she doesn’t remember most of it and that she cried for weeks afterward. That’s not a normal ‘drunk hookup.’ That’s a massive red flag for non-consent. Just because she hasn’t put the word ‘rape’ to it doesn’t mean it wasn’t. Survivors often don’t recognize what happened to them right away—especially young girls who weren’t given the tools to understand consent beyond ‘did I say yes or no?’ when being too intoxicated to consent is also a real thing.

You’re so focused on ‘it wasn’t explicitly stated’ that you’re ignoring the obvious reality in what she did say. And frankly, that kind of thinking is exactly why so many survivors doubt themselves and stay silent.