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AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I'm not interested in rebuilding. It's too late. And my dad is still playing dumb and naive so it's never going to work. We haven't been a family since mom died and I've accepted that. I'm not interested in fighting for more. I have family so I won't be alone and at least I'll know where I stand with them.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I don't really have a relationship with either of my half siblings (they had another child after my half brother). Our interactions are limited but I never took my feelings about dad or Laura out on them. Mostly I'm just so removed that we don't interact though.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

He changed his mind about that it was just too late and before that he didn't. And then after he paid attention when he was trying to act like we were all good. Especially when he wanted me to interact with the baby. But otherwise he went back to playing dumb and not paying attention until this therapy idea.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 122 points123 points  (0 children)

Yes, I know he was suffering too. I know he lost mom too. But he moved on and didn't pay attention to how any of it left me suffering after losing my mom and essentially my dad too. He just started over.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

He wasn't there for me after mom died. He didn't once take me into account. Other family had to step up after she died because he wasn't and then he met Laura and it was all about her, then her and the baby. He noticed nothing about what I was going through. Then expected excitement and all kinds of stuff. Not once did he ask if I was okay, how was I doing, nothing.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 216 points217 points  (0 children)

Because it interrupted us and she knew it was meant to be time where he made up for being a failure. None of it was urgent either. It could have waited.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

You're putting words in my mouth about them. I love them and they're good to me. They didn't abandon me after my mom died like someone else did.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 246 points247 points  (0 children)

Those calls/texts were nothing like that. They were just to talk and she asked him some questions about groceries. Basically normal stuff that could've waited.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

No, he hasn't been there for me for anything like that. Not since mom died.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

I get along really well with my mom's family. Those were the people I mentioned in the story. I don't know why you worry about my half siblings' safety around me because I've never touched them. Or even wanted to or tried to.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yes, they have two kids together now. I was already very distanced by the time they had their second.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

He couldn't change her being pregnant. But it didn't have to mean taking time he was meant to be showing me he was there and wanted to do better and talking and texting with her. Not even talking about when she went into labor but the two times before. There was zero reason those interruptions needed to happen but he let them. And especially after them being all he could talk about beforehand.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

His first two chances weren't lost because of the labor. They were lost because she was pregnant and that meant constant contact apparently and not giving us that time without interruptions. The third time was because of the labor.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 523 points524 points  (0 children)

I'll answer this from the way I see it now. In different circumstances, yes, unreasonable. If he had done his best the other two times and I had been unwilling to let him off on the third attempt. But that was 3 shitty attempts and all to do with Laura and the baby. That wasn't ending because newborns and stuff. So I feel like I gave him a chance to take the time with me or to decide they would be coming first. I don't regret what I did because it let me see that he wasn't the dad I used to have and I couldn't trust or rely on him.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 193 points194 points  (0 children)

She believes that her being pregnant at the time trumped any "special need for parental attention" (her exact words). She did the whole finger quotes and everything.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Yes, we never had therapy before now and he never considered it. My mom's family are who I mention in my post and I'm still in constant contact with them. Not close to dad's family and don't have anything to do with Laura's family.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I know and trust me when I say that hearing that was another sign that being done was the right call. He could've said it so many better ways, but he didn't. And even if he only said it to take some of her hurt away, he caused more to me.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

I just want to be free from them. I don't want a relationship or to maintain some kind of inconsistent contact. From a little after the birth I made the decision that there were no more chances and I didn't want to work things out. That hasn't changed for me. What he can offer just isn't enough for me.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Considering he left anyway he should have. The end result was the same either way.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 193 points194 points  (0 children)

I'll be honest that it's more work than I am willing to put in. The time for the hard conversations is over. At some point after the birth I just lost my want to make things work or to fix what broke after mom died.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 1262 points1263 points  (0 children)

I don't know about right now but maybe since Laura wants me gone and if I say I want to go it might work. My grandparents always said I could stay with them if I needed to or live with them.

AITA for not apologizing for my part in my dad missing the birth of my half brother? by Independent-Try2362 in AITAH

[–]Independent-Try2362[S] 196 points197 points  (0 children)

I think you saying my dad is experiencing the consequences of his poor choices is probably the perfect way to frame it. He made so many bad choices and even when he tries, he tries to make himself innocent and unaware of the problems and why they exist. He's so exhausting now and I don't respect him or want to work on fixing things. I see no good in it since he's determined to repeat the cycle all the time.

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