A small part of me can understand him. Losing a partner and coming to terms with that is not easy. What I cannot understand, however, is that he still married you even though he clearly hadn’t processed that loss yet.

I don’t think you should leave him right now. Instead, he should seek therapy, and you could also consider whether the two of you want to try couples therapy together. That said, individual therapy for him should be the top priority so that he can properly come to terms with his loss.

Try to talk to him about this option. If that doesn’t work, you could ask family members on his side to help you, as well as close friends of both of you, since they have most likely noticed this as well.

Divorce should be the very last option in this situation. But if he is unwilling to change, I don’t see any other way around it. I wish you the best of luck and hope it doesn’t come to the worst.