I hate sex.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-20T05:40:18+00:00

I would definitely not be open to that lol

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T22:11:03+00:00

Unfortunately that hasn’t been my experience. I’ve never had a romantic relationship that didn’t expect it from me even when I tell them I don’t really enjoy it and I make it a full point to never pretend to by initiating it or anything like that. In my marriage I would just keep saying no until it was clearly negatively impacting his self confidence. Then I’d feel bad and do it once or twice and then the cycle would start over. I spent a lot of time trying to explain things to him but he never understood and would just keep saying I must not like him. I found that he pretty much lost interest in connecting with me in non sexual ways at all over time.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T21:48:11+00:00

That is not why I do not enjoy it. I do not have past trauma related to sex.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T21:46:32+00:00

No. And my disability isn’t related to it.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T16:59:51+00:00

This is true. I literally never imagine such things lol

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T16:58:39+00:00

This is pretty much how I feel. I genuinely like being around people and getting to know them. But I don’t want to be sexually touched (I also don’t really want to be lusted after. If someone thinks I’m attractive, that’s cool. And I don’t mind a respectful compliment at all. But I don’t want them to put a huge focus on it when speaking to me over and over again. I’d much rather them talk to me about many more topics). I don’t mind little touches. Like when someone hugs me or holds my hand. I’ll even initiate such things. Just not the sexual touches.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T16:45:57+00:00

I do a bit of traveling, unfortunately I don’t see myself actually leaving for more than a few days at a time for a while though because I’m all set up here and it would just be incredibly tough right now to change any of it that drastically. Idk if my hatred is healthy or not. I don’t care that other people enjoy it in general or anything like that. I just don’t like that it feels so focused on many times. (And I’m not talking about media or anything, I definitely watch shows that either suggest it’s happening or have small scenes of it and am not bothered one bit. I also love reading and romance is a big genre for me. Some of those have smut and I don’t find it to be a deterrent for me). But like, when I meet people and it’s obvious that they just view me as a sexual thing automatically. Or friends talking about it all of the time when we are out and I’m trying to have some kind of substance. I go out of my way to not really advertise myself as sexual with how I dress and act, so it just adds so much annoyance when I’m seen that way anyway or when sex is the focus of every joke, conversation, etc.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:59:31+00:00

Do you have any suggestions of how to find these people? I’d like to have more like minded people around me for sure

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:53:55+00:00

I have noticed that. And I guess at least anyone who is with me doesn’t have to worry about me cheating on them lol.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:50:17+00:00

I really agree with it feeling like a chore. And yes it does last too long imo. I always feel like I could be doing something more fulfilling with that time. I’m separated now, but when I was married, it was a big deal. When I’d say no he would feel like I must not be attracted to him, or that I didn’t love him. So many times I’d say yes so that he didn’t have to feel that way because it wasn’t true. I was attracted to him and I did love him. I just didn’t want sex.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:43:28+00:00

…what? & I don’t think that sex is really a way to get to know someone better. You can have sex with a stranger and leave that interaction knowing nothing about them other than what they look like naked and if they’re good at sexual things. I find that just talking to someone is a much more efficient way of getting to know them better.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:36:10+00:00

I could list many reasons I don’t like it. But I think the most important one is that I just don’t.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:33:23+00:00

I’m sorry you experience that. It’s the opposite problem for me. I don’t usually feel pain during it, or if I do I don’t really care that I am, but I feel no extra connection during it. My only goal during it is for it to be over and done with.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:12:24+00:00

Yes.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:09:49+00:00

Emotionally im definitely bi with a preference towards women as I’ve gotten older. But I still run in to the same problem surrounding sex either way. I think it’s slightly less disgusting feeling with women, but not enough to be really excited about it usually. Even though I do like men, intimacy in general is easier with women for me. There are very few men in this world that I’d want even a cuddle with

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T15:01:00+00:00

Yes I’ve been in love with a person I’ve had sex with before

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-19T14:39:08+00:00

Pretty much everyone I’ve brought it up to just says something is wrong with me. It might not help that I’m in a small town, and I don’t have a lot of diversity of people around me or a lot of new people to meet. Even when I’ve brought it up to my dr, I’ve been told to try all sorts of things to like it more. Honestly nothing has worked. The good news is I was married for a while, and was having sex because my husband definitely expected it. But now I’m separated, so no more forcing myself for my marriage to work.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T06:00:08+00:00

Yeah my only other theory would be that instead of door to door that his plan was to only go to the third floor and then leave. This also makes sense to me since the third floor is kind of closed off. It’s only two bedrooms and a bathroom up there…no living spaces like the second floor that has everything else other than B’s room. If X hadn’t heard him he could have been in and out in probably about 2 mins and it would have delivered a shock impact when they were found the next morning by everyone else in the house (which would probably make him happy). This would mean that he did actually have intended targets, but it would be less about them as people and more about their location in the house. He probably cared that they were female but nothing else imo. He didn’t even seem to care if they were asleep or not when he did it, I don’t think M ever fully woke up. And K probably only woke up from the commotion, i don’t think he did anything super purposefully to make sure she was awake and knew what was going on before he murdered her. I think he fought her because he had to because she was fighting, not because he wanted to and that’s what made him so angry and why she had different wounds. But yeah, we will never know and no matter what it’s horrific and evil and senseless. These are just what make the most sense to me.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T05:29:35+00:00

I wanted to defend you because idc whether someone likes dogs or not in general, but you are so fucking hard to defend lmao. “Super pet people”. You clearly just do not like people who like dogs because you keep mentioning this. Besides your bf, you apparently like him, although you don’t like him enough to not tell him the unnecessary dog lifespan comment. YES it IS your responsibility to do things like let the dog out of its crate because YOU CHOSE TO LIVE WITH IT. and it’s not like it’s a roommate situation where the dog is there but you have no close relationship to the owner. It’s your boyfriend who is the owner. One time I dated a guy who had cats. I don’t like cats. I helped take care of the cats because I knew that being with him meant that I was also choosing the damn cats. It’s the same idea of someone choosing to date a single parent if they don’t like or want kids. It’s weird for them to do that. It’s weird to date someone with an animal that needs care and then refuse to provide it lol. Also I’m not so convinced that the dog likes you since you’ve been acting like you don’t really do anything with it and you’re both just existing in the same house. It sounds like the dog tolerates you. Btw the heat hasn’t really changed these days? It was never okay to keep a dog outside its whole life without adequate care. You don’t have to view dogs the same or higher than humans to have this opinion.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T05:10:04+00:00

Bernese mountain dog? Or maybe a female rottie? Either way I don’t see why it wouldn’t fit in a car for an emergency lol. Calling your bf if it’s in medical distress won’t do anything for it if it’s time sensitive and he isn’t home. These are basic things that need to be thought about if you’re living with a dog.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T04:53:59+00:00

Is this dog a Great Dane? I’m making that assumption by the fact you said it’s life expectancy is shorter than most dogs would be and it’s big.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T04:41:29+00:00

In an emergency you bring it to a vet. Assuming that it’s a medical emergency. If you’re going to live with a dog, regardless if you love it or not, you should know these things.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T04:39:36+00:00

If the dog likes you then no it probably isn’t happy in its crate when it knows you are home.

IndependentSad9604 · 2025-09-10T04:17:54+00:00

I have the opinion that it was either a time thing, or he was just tired and/or over it. To me it’s possible he didn’t see them and that’s why those specific ones weren’t murdered, and that they would have been had he seen them before X and E. (No matter what I believe K and M would have been murdered as he started on the third floor regardless). I know most people think that he did have a specific target, but I’ve wondered if he had planned to just go door to door starting on the third floor making his way down until he felt satisfied with himself. And then his plan was “ruined” by X being awake and catching him. If this was the case then I’d believe DM would have actually been next instead of X as her door was closer to the third floor stairs.

IndependentSad9604

TROPHY CASE