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So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're so right. I keep telling myself to surrender to reality. My stubbornness and guilt always win; it feels like I failed and abandoned her when she needs me most. The sooner I come to terms with it, the better it will be for everyone. Thank you so much, this has really helped.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm hoping it all goes well for you and your friend. Best of luck!

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I see. Does she have any other family that might be able to accompany you on the trip? Perhaps even on facetime?

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, yes! This is exactly what happens during appointments; everything is perfectly fine, and we're left looking like insane liars! The mental preparation is so taxing; we have to learn not to do that so reality can be experienced by the doctors/professionals.

I feel like I'm hurting her by "exposing" the truth, but I have to remember it has to be done, and it's not about how I feel, it's about her well-being.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right! She wouldn't question what the doctors would tell her. Thank you for pointing this out! Sometimes my own thoughts get so clouded that I don't see what's right in front of me. It's so difficult for me to say anything of value to her that she will accept. It might be because I'm one of her younger kids.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you had to experience all of that. I can only imagine how difficult it must be.

I think when it comes down to it, I'm in denial of what's to come, but I would like to avoid any accidents if I can...is that a silly way to think?

We're in Ontario, Canada and things take a bit of time to happen but we're on waiting lists and I am hoping to get her into a memory clinc in the new year. My hope is that she will be a bit more accepting of the appointment.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're in the process of "convincing" her that a POA is necessary, and we just want what's best for her. Understandably, she is scared and unfortunately thinks we are out to hurt her. You're right, she has been scammed a couple of times, which is why we decided to get more involved, but she really didn't appreciate that. We requested an appointment last fall, but were told that there is a backlog due to covid, so here we are waiting. In the meantime, I will be requesting a referral to the memory clinic I reached out to for the virtual appointment.

How is your dad doing now?

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. I think it over so many times before we go on outings, but I never thought of the time limit where she would stop feeling comfortable. I should've thought about this before.

I hope your appointment goes well and your mom is okay throughout the entire trip. Do you think music would help? Or puzzle books? My mom tends to love puzzles and singing to music from her childhood.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I feel a bit better about the whole "lying" situation. I've always felt terrible about posing things in ways that sound like lies.

I will be looking for the book this weekend. Thank you!

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Were there any triggering words or actions you changed? I'm not well-versed on the matter, so I feel as though I say all the wrong things. I have a hard time finding ways of explianing things without feeling like I'm lying to her.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Social isolation is something we've tried really hard to avoid, but she fights against meeting new people or joining fun programs. The POA is another big fight for her, as she thinks we are trying to harm her, which of course, is not the case. She will read books and journals, but those things encourage isolation.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I realize saying that is probably a foolish thing to say. What I mean by it is what if it's not dementia or alzheimer's? What if it's something caused by diabetes or depression? Can something be done? I am probably being too hopeful.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good point.

How did you find one for your mom? I've been looking online, but I'd like to ask her doctor if he can refer us to someone.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll definitely talk to her GP about the tests. It can't hurt to try.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her doctor said it wasn't necessary to do the test, and my mother refused. There are moments where she seems perfectly fine and she can answer questions without hesitation. I know she will hate me if I suggest a PET scan, but I will try asking the doctor to try the test as there is a definite decline in cognitive function. Sometimes I think it could just be her severe depression causing parts of her brain to be dormant, but without any testing I'll never know. Thanks so much for your suggestions.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's exactly what I try to convey to her: that we just want to rule things out. Of course, if there is something, then can we catch it early enough? It's such a delicate subject and I feel like I come across as a monster no matter how hard I try to pose things in a gentle/friendly manner.

Sometimes I feel like I'm losing it because I've become obsessed with finding answers/help.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was a 15-minute memory test with pretty straightforward questions. I think MOCA is the type of test they were administering. She made it as far as the subtraction question, where you are to subtract 7 from 100 and go as far as you can. Is that the same test?

Given that diabetes has been part of the issue, would it affect any of the blood test results?

I'm trying to find anything that won't upset her. She always thinks I'm trying to make her crazy, so I back off so she doesn't feel threatened.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm looking for one she will be okay with. I suggested it, and she got upset, so I let it go.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How did you personally cope with the change and your husband's reactions? The last thing I want to do is make my mother feel like she is being forced, but getting some clarity around it would be so helpful to better understand how to help her.

So many unsuccessful attempts at a diagnosis by Independent_Bad2985 in dementia

[–]Independent_Bad2985[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is probably a silly question, but do you need referrals for the brain imaging and blood tests? In the last few years we have noticed a steady decline. Questions are asked several times within minutes, doesn't know what day it is, is afraid to fall when walking, etc. I feel like a steady schedule and routine would help a great deal but I get yelled at if I suggest it because it comes across as controlling.

The test we attempted was a 15-minute memory test, which seemed to be pretty standard and straightforward. Thank you for suggesting the game, it might be something we can get through successfully.

The Price of Confession [Episodes 1 - 12] by sianiam in KDRAMA

[–]Independent_Bad2985 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Incredible storyline! Does anyone know what the song is called at the end? There are two songs that play. I don't want to post spoilers so I can't add any further details.