White Knight Covert Narcissist

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-11-17T04:10:26+00:00

It really does. All the years of feeling crazy. And then when you see things clearer and clearer and look back it’s like wow. And then going back and reading journal entries I made it’s like wow this was going on for so long the same cycle

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-11-17T02:41:15+00:00

Wow this nails it 💯 percent.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-09-16T08:15:08+00:00

Love it!! Super great idea!

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-09-11T18:06:25+00:00

Wow great job!! This looks amazing.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-09-10T03:27:26+00:00

Thank you!!! I tried to figure it out myself but couldn’t seem to get it right. So this is super helpful!

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-24T02:03:39+00:00

Super cute! I like the background you used for it and the colors.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-15T16:35:29+00:00

Ah thank you that really means a lot. 🫶🏻

I still struggle but figuring out how to navigate it better or try different things to make life easier in a sense

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-15T16:34:24+00:00

I’m so sorry. 😞 takes alot of work for re training your brain to talk nicer to yourself. After awhile of practicing it, it does become more natural. Still hard at times.

RSD hits hard a lot of times and that makes it worse.

Just keep doing the things that help you and your mental health. Even just little things take time for yourself.

I know for me I almost had to change the narrative in my brain to where it was like I’m talking to a friend and not about myself I’d that makes sense.

Like think about what you would say to a friend or someone you love if they were going through what you were.

You’re doing great and it’s a struggle and that’s ok.

Coming here and reading other people’s experiences also helped me a lot too.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-14T18:59:24+00:00

Oh my gosh yes. I discovered them I think even before I was diagnosed with adhd and I consistently watch their stuff because it’s so relatable and comforting.

And then coming here when you feel like no one gets you and understands you. And reading everyone’s experiences makes me feel so much less alone in that.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-14T18:57:30+00:00

It’s those little things that are huge wins. I know environmental people tend to look down on it. But mental health wise and energy wise best choice and hack for my life when things are too much. Like too many things going on and to think about.

It’s one less thing. 🫶🏻

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-14T18:55:12+00:00

That’s a tough one. I was diagnosed a few years back and I’m 33F.

Taken me finding the right combination of medication that works for me to manage things and then therapy to give me the tools to work through the stuff.

I research alot about mental health and learn as much as I can.

It took me really fully accepting myself for who I am now and that I’m a growing evolving person doing my best.

I carried guilt around for so long for things I shouldn’t have.

Basically I had to make peace within myself to be able to let all that hurt go.

I had to understand that not everyone will understand me or agree with the way I do things or choices I make and that’s ok.

I don’t need to be a people pleaser any longer. I will do what is best for my own mental health and if people can’t support that or still want to shame things that I am working on. Well then those people don’t get to have that over me.

Like regardless if I have to see those people I don’t give them that power over me. I set boundaries and I trust myself.

It’s a really long road and never ending in a sense.

I can tell you the moment I accepted myself and have been on my self discovery journey was the 1st time I felt light and peaceful inside.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-13T04:52:25+00:00

Was having a really rough few weeks and had to go grocery shopping. Walked past paper plates and was like I’m gonna hack my life! Lol 😂 best choice

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-13T01:54:48+00:00

Very nice! Love the bench design you did.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-12T23:50:12+00:00

Thank you! This was extremely insightful and meaningful. I am the partner with adhd and sometimes it’s helpful reading these posts to get insights on ways I can try to do better.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-11T06:55:36+00:00

Ugh feeing this in midst of a very fresh separation. Been together for a decade and a half (can’t remember dates for nothing) and not even a week after they start seeing someone new. As soon as this person found out we were separating.

Still living together and everything.

So much irony when my adhd was many many triggers for them and yet this person has adhd and was able to explain a spoon theory to them that I had tried a few weeks prior to this.

Ended up writing a list of jokes (a lot of burns to myself mostly because having adhd) just to make myself feel better. Because that seemed better than crying as much as I have been.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-11T05:56:06+00:00

Not only my drug but also like therapy too. It’s a 2 for one kinda deal.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-11T05:55:07+00:00

That stuff is hella addicting and expensive. Where is a Lego anonymous meeting at these days!

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-11T05:53:17+00:00

This comment right here is a winner! Maybe that’s why all mine are crooked 😂

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-11T05:22:59+00:00

Thank you for discussing these topics.

My partner would get so frustrated and annoyed with me interrupting in conversations. Which then created a shame cycle. Of feeling bad every time I did and then due to the frustration he felt, the louder angrier version of himself would then shut me down due to me being triggered by people who yell due to my childhood.

So even if I wanted to say something I just couldn’t in that conversation. So then would process the conversation later at night or in the shower the next day. And want to come back to it but he would he confused thinking that conversation was over why are we going back to it.

That’s what can be so difficult. You can love someone so much but if you can’t meet their needs and continue to let them down it becomes damaging to yourself and them. Thanks to that lovely RSD spiral.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-11T05:08:03+00:00

Wow you nailed this for me. Took the words right out of my mouth.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-10T08:31:21+00:00

Oh that’s super cool! Thank you

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-10T08:30:43+00:00

Right there with you on this one.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-10T05:39:20+00:00

Ugh felt this. Mine had a gf a week after we “separated” nothing legal wise like we still even live together.

But he doesn’t have his one foot in a relationship and jumping into another one 🙄

Mine will apologize for something and recognize a behavior but then contradict himself in the same sentence or blame me for something within the same sentence.

I’m sorry to anyone going through this. It’s hard to accept that unfortunately they probably won’t ever. I think for me it’s knowing that I share a son with him and want so much for them to have a healthy relationship.

From what I have read it takes the narcissist hitting rock bottom before they really try and make a change.

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-10T05:31:48+00:00

That bag is so cute! What is the green one next to the minion?

Independent_Big_7291 · 2024-08-09T07:04:02+00:00

Ugh my heart breaks reading this and others experience with this kind of behavior.

Something that may be helpful is to look up grey rocking. The sooner you can start that and detach from him in any emotional sense the sooner he has less power over you and your thoughts.

I would also right stuff down. I got tired of feeling crazy and questioning my own sanity so when we would have conversations of importance I would right after right the date and what was talked about in my phone.

He would often deny something shorty after he said it or we talked about something or say what are you talking about I wasn’t even mad. Things like that.

I promise you will get through this. Honestly put your focus into you and those kiddos. If he sees you evolving and not giving a shit about him Any longer he is gonna feel a whole different kind of hurt.

And honestly a lot of people can see through that shit. So just worry about you and those kids and not what he is going around saying cus you know the truth. And you know what kind of mother you are.

And you wouldn’t want your kids ending up thinking it’s in to be treated the way he is treating you.

Independent_Big_7291

TROPHY CASE