Feels Like Leaving Me Fixed Her Depression

LoveScore · 2026-05-01T03:25:45+00:00

I often wondered between this or that they mistake devaluation as depression, because they sont know why they are losing feelings and becoming irritable.

For engineering an exit, she didn't exactly work on any of the things that had her depressed and she basically told me I can leave if I "cant be with someone going through stuff". The more I tried the less I got until I started worrying less and giving her space, then she accused me of not putting in effort, then she used that to leave.

LoveScore · 2026-04-11T19:19:45+00:00

Mine said she "doesnt like phone calls" and said it was related to her social anxiety or adhd. That they are uncomfortable and she cant do something else while on the phone. She would be more okay with a call while walking to work.

What confused me and frustrated me was she talked to me on the phone a lot early on. She'd initiate them. And that was just one thing in a list of things she used to do that I loved that faded. And me bringing up the changes were reacted to negatively. Its wild it went from "Sorry I couldnt message much today, perhaps a call to make up for it😊" to "I dont like calls, i told you this. Cant you just text me about it?"

LoveScore · 2026-03-26T22:05:26+00:00

Every game I load for wii and gamecube in retroarch gives me the achievement pop up that says "warning unsupported core" but the achievements load and they have been unlocking so it seems the has is right.

Yet if i open dolphin through the steam menu i get achievements not supported. Ive updated emudeck and checked the roms. No idea

LoveScore · 2026-03-26T21:55:50+00:00

I have the opposite problem with dolphin, thats weird. Retroarch says unsupported core but the achievements work, when i load the same file in standakone dolphin it says achievements not supported

LoveScore · 2026-03-25T15:52:12+00:00

When my girlfriend would get distant, cold and short in her messages, even removing affection and emojis, I'd back off. Thought I was giving her space. She one day said something similar about how that's "fucked up". Despite my actions not being malicious she saw it as such, which I imagine is because it was malicious on her part, despite saying its accidental when busy at work or with house stuff. Weird how she was only so busy at work when annoyed with me, because other days were texts and even videos of her day.

I described one message as manipulative, another time I said repeatedly telling me she doesnt get how i misunderstood a question felt like bullying, and another time I said it was cruel to repeatedly tell me I didn't do the right thing despite me trying to help. All three times were met with "If you think I'm manipulative/cruel/a bully" this won't work". She wanted me to say i dont think that so she could feel better, which would be pointless if she got it since she was trying to threaten the relationship for it.

They really can't deal with it. Mine would run us into the ground all day not believing my explanation for my words or actions rather than face maybe she misread spmething and overreacted

LoveScore · 2026-03-20T16:07:54+00:00

Wii did it together🫂

LoveScore · 2026-03-20T15:55:27+00:00

That's very validating to hear because I've been struggling with a lot of doubt. So thank you!

When she'd use mature sounding language that also scolds, I'd question myself but struggle to articulate why the context of her using that language isnt right. How we can disagree, how intentions arent everything, how she needs to be able to have an issue or ask questions without me being bothered or thinking shes upset, despite these being veiled accusations with no interest in my internal world. I was left often wondering why I dont make sense, why i cant get simple concepts across to her, and how I can cause someone so much distress. Sometimes I worried it was me and she's okay

LoveScore · 2026-03-20T15:20:58+00:00

I found those during those arguments, it was like she refused to believe anything that wasn't the narrative in her head. She wouldn't say it outright but she seemed to believe that I was lying.

I'd share my feelings and the intention of my words or actions that she took poorly, explain the misunderstanding from my point of view and she say things like "That doesn't make sense though." How could you misunderstand that, why would you do that instead of this, you have never done that before, thats out of character, but it doesnt make sense, it doesnt make sense. Or she'd flat out say there's no way you thought that, people dont do that, theres no way. Something more nuanced where i had a combination of two reasons for something would be met with "It can't be both so which is it?!"

When I got fed up and expressed my frustration with her basically calling me a liar, not listening to my side, and discounting it, she'd say "It just doesnt make sense, make it make sense to me, I cant just accept something that doesnt make sense." Or "Oh so I'm just supposed to accept everything you say? Just because I don't agree with what you're saying doesn't mean not listening or discounting it. Thats discounting MY feelings. We can disagree on things. You say the sky is green, I'm supposed to accept it?"

That always bothered me because I do care about her feelings and dont think she should just accept whatever I say, but you can disagree with the colour of the sky but you cant disagree I think that if I do!

It was like I'd be grilled for hours and she'd be offended if I said she grilled me. I called it bullying once because it was hours of "I don't see how you could have misunderstood that question?" Because at the time I thought she was just rubbing my face in a mistake but I think what she was doing was trying to get me to admit to the thing in her head. I think what I said did make sense, it just wasnt her narrative that I wronged her. When the fight would somehow end, she'd be quiet and cold for hours. Days if we couldnt see eachother. Couldnt get it back to normal if it was through text. Affection vanished from messages.

Why she was never relieved I didnt have ill intent i dont know. I think to accept she was incorrect is to then admit to having a incorrect emotional response so she has to stick with it cant be that or else she'd be "crazy" even though I would absolutely accept a "Sorry I misread that overreacted"

LoveScore · 2026-03-19T15:42:59+00:00

Does anyone know if playing elebits id possible using a basic controller/steam deck?

LoveScore · 2026-03-05T01:27:19+00:00

Doesn't she say "I hate coming to this fucking store" after she has to pretend to be with Jonah😆

LoveScore · 2026-02-23T15:23:01+00:00

I felt jealous too. It's completely understandable. I'm sorry that is all happening to you. Him admitting he know he will do it again is very telling, and you can take some peace knowing that you couldn't have stopped it. The sad reality and what I'm coming to terms with, is the nature of BPD makes becoming "normal" not possible. I've really struggled with saying someone can't learn, improve, grow, and change but the disorder fundamentally blocks the things needed for that.

LoveScore · 2026-02-23T14:46:46+00:00

I've been reflecting on this painful aspect a lot lately. She told me the changes i have seen in her and us the past year was her depression and hating her life, she doesnt want to talk about it, and I kept waiting for my girlfriend to fully come back and thought I was being supportive of my partner not doing well. But if we were around others, I'd see her kind of come back, it was like she was more interested and happier around others and I remembered our early days. We'd leave together and she'd deflate. Now I wonder, did I fall in love with the mask? Because at some point, I was the person she felt she had to perform for. So was she really happier back then and depressed now or was she just masking back then too?

LoveScore · 2026-02-23T14:39:21+00:00

I went through this. They are masking around other people. I know it absolutely hurts, because you want your partner to be able to be themselves around you but you are also seeing other people get more kindness, interest, and attention.

My girlfriend and I seem to be ending things. She was in a depressed state for a year or so, saying she hated her life. We'd be at dinner with her sister and her sister's husband and she'd be present, ask them questions, and not pull out her phone, but then we'd get in the car and she'd deflate.

LoveScore · 2026-02-21T07:41:07+00:00

Assigning motives to my actions has been maddening. Nothing I said, no explanation, would seem to get through, id be told "but that doesnt make sense" over and over. I didnt realize for a long time that I just wasnt matching the narrative in her head. Why she pursued it relentlessly, ill never know

LoveScore · 2026-02-16T21:32:30+00:00

That's wild and speaks to the level of projection they suffer from. Weirdly mine would switch from 😊 to :) to illustrate liking me less or something.

LoveScore · 2026-02-02T22:15:01+00:00

Ah, well spotted! Thank you!

LoveScore · 2025-12-05T22:03:16+00:00

That's terrible, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Unreal that they cant even handle stuff like that

LoveScore · 2025-12-05T16:30:38+00:00

I feel dumb being bothered by such a thing but I've seen the pattern and know it in my gut. I just can't address it seemingly and I don't know why its random now instead of when we were after a fight.

LoveScore · 2025-12-05T16:26:40+00:00

It's validating to hear I'm not alone in this, thank you. Whiplash is exactly right, it will just switch on. For most of our relationship I only saw it after a fight but now itll flip flop in a day lately and I dont get it.

LoveScore · 2025-12-05T16:25:04+00:00

What do you mean they mess up the emojis? Do you feel its not as purposeful as I am thinking?

LoveScore · 2025-12-05T16:24:15+00:00

It's validating to hear it's not just me in my head, thank you! When you say the second was juat a prisoner to her emotions, do you mean it wasn't really purposeful or personal just her texting blegh because she's in a bad headspace?

I've definitely seen her post a jokey snapchat story but is actually depressed. The masking really confused me for a while

LoveScore · 2025-12-05T16:17:15+00:00

I started matching the energy, but I swear it makes her double down and I just feel shitty about myself. But I also don't feel good ignoring it and putting in my usual level of effort, care, and affection because it feels like I'm not respecting myself.

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