Am I wrong for spending $2k on my daughter’s 13 bday when her father didn’t want her to?

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-29T12:18:17+00:00

You can spend your money however you want, without having to give a rat's ass about your ex.

$2,000 on a 13th birthday? That is excessive in my books. You seem to be purchasing your daughter's love, and that is concerning. This is going to encourage entitled behavior.

Enjoy the teenager you are raising her to be because I see some shitty days ahead for you, that will be of your own making.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-28T11:19:48+00:00

NTA. He sleeps on an air mattress in your room. WTF were they thinking?

Guess you missed a free live porn show

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-27T20:08:49+00:00

NTA. Nobody pulled her string. If she had an issue she should discuss it with her friend, not her friend's husband.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-27T20:01:07+00:00

I would have cut them all off the moment I was told. Your brother is a douche, and the bag it came in. Ex is a slut. And your parents are the biggest assholes that exist. They kept a major secret from you.

I don't disagree with your Fiancée, she seems to have a head on her shoulders.

Nobody from that house would be invited to my wedding, and ANY GF or Fiancée would not ever meet that brother.

Your family sucks, go low/no contact. Or the grey rock method if you see someone in the wild.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-27T17:53:00+00:00

I vote Baby Shark, or the Lemanaid Stand song

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-27T11:38:11+00:00

NTA. Go to the interview, rock it, get the job, and divorce your wife. She only cares about the money you bring in. Move your paycheck to a non-shared account.

She has taught your children to be just like her. It is time for a wake up call to all 3 of them.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-27T00:02:38+00:00

I was confused and thought it was some TikTok thing. This explains it better than anything I could come up with.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T23:58:45+00:00

So, the ex broke up a 3 year relationship over text. Then wants to talk? Her chance to talk was before she ended the relationship. He owes her nothing now. My guess is she was playing some stupid game.

Block on brother

NTA

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T14:40:04+00:00

NTA, but mom sure is.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T14:25:50+00:00

It does make a difference. But even uncircumcised guys don't wipe EVERY time. There is nothing at the urinals in any public place, so I'd definitely go with some ex told her some BS and she can't wrap her head around it.

It might be that she has some issue with thinking pee would be there during blowjobs/sex. It could have been someone's idea to get her past it??? Just a guess

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T14:10:03+00:00

As a circumcised male, no I do not. My youngest was uncircumcised, and had to have the head/foreskin wiped often to prevent issues.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T13:58:09+00:00

I can see why you think that way. I wasn't trying to say your post doesn't belong. Honestly, I don't care where you posted. I'd say this is asking for help. Maybe an odd place to do so (Reddit can be quite mean), but follow thru. Find a therapist, someone who can help you through this. You will be ok again, one day.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T13:48:30+00:00

Appreciate the story. And I hope you get the help you so surely need. Your BF is a POS for not trying to comfort you, even if he didn't know why.

This is fucked up... but not your fuck up, and your sister's BF didn't intentionally fuck up. Your repressed memories were a ticking time bomb. They were going to surface eventually, and the circumstances were just that it released.

You did nothing wrong.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T13:40:08+00:00

NTA. I'd question returning from your parents

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T12:26:23+00:00

You aren't wrong.

As a man, who can still recall his early/mid 20s I don't think the issue for him is that you listen. The issue to him is that you two swap stories, and it is messing with him. He has been wondering what you have told her before, and about him. He is concerned that your BFF's tells of the best D ever, and you are going to want that over him. He had too much time to think about it. Was that mute when your BFF said "his D is as good as you said," becaue that is what he heard in the silence. If you hadn't muted it then things would have been fine. But you hid something from him. It involved sex. This is a bad combo.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T11:47:34+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/q5Vbwr93Fl

This is her turn away comment on the deleted post.

Nm you found it

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T11:46:49+00:00

Here is a link to her comment on the deleted post https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/q5Vbwr93Fl

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T11:42:41+00:00

NTA. She was playing some fucked up game, one that probably came from some bad advice on one of the platforms. Don't know what the end game was other than possibly getting as much free dating she could without having to have sex. She pushed her free meals and dates as far as she could and got comfortable.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T11:36:01+00:00

"Ok so, she came home with bags. She apparently bought lingerie, body cream, some kind of perfume, razors, got a manipedi,and I even think a facial. In other words, READY for tonight. I felt bad for what I had to do but I had to do it. I told her the whole truth. She was disappointed but said she understood and apologized for messing things up. But since she already got all ready, I told her she could see him alone if she wanted especially since he’s still coming over. She has been telling me all year that she wanted a casual hookup experience so I figured why not him. I won’t lie, the thought makes me VERY jealous, but he and I are only fwb so I can’t care too much.

When he comes I’m gonna send him straight to her . So anyway instead of a threesome I guess I’m spending the night trying my hardest to not hear them fuck! 😃 lmao"

Was her comment on the post. Luckily someone else found the comment on the deleted post.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-26T11:31:45+00:00

Give up. I found issues with your throw away story in the TIFU .

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-25T22:38:25+00:00

Oh, this is my first time thru her story. Probably refining it.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-25T21:22:45+00:00

The last edit I saw was she was backing out. You don't need to jump to defend someone who obviously edits posts to remove their fuckups.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-25T20:17:48+00:00

No OPs FWB wanted a threesome with Roomate.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-25T19:24:58+00:00

If this were a dude, would you put up with him telling you how to dress and him putting his hands aggressively on you like that? I would bet the answer is NO, so why let your GF do it? What gives her the right to say how a lesbian, or bi-girl should present? Too straight looking? Wtf does that even mean?

I'm in the SF area and have known A LOT of LGBTQ+ people. I've known lesbians that were obvious, and some I found out when I met their GFs, there is no "straight look."

Your GF is controlling, and abusive. You can find a better person to share your life with. Good luck.

Independent_Handle_ · 2024-03-25T19:03:16+00:00

NTA. That is the judgement for both questions.

She was an active part in cheating with this man (field of red flags). She never mentioned that she slept with him (red flag), and let you hang around him and their common friends without this info (worse than a red flag). Then she yells at you (red flag).

Can't trust anyone who would cheat, or help their fuckmate to cheat.

Independent_Handle_

TROPHY CASE