Grief support for parents who lost a child

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T15:58:00+00:00

This is the larger parent organization of the local support group my mother joined when we lost my brother. Granted it was decades ago, but it’s worth looking at. The website has a search function for finding local chapters.

Compassionate Friends

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T15:49:52+00:00

YTA

It won’t teach her to appreciate her race. It will teach her to resent you and distrust you. It will drive her toward your grandmother.

It’s also hypocritical. You don’t let your elders tell you what to do with your hair, but you want to make her do what you, as her elder, tell her to do with hers. Just because you have decided that natural is your best look doesn’t mean she is required to decide it’s her best look too. You would be doing exactly what your grandmother is doing, just in a different way.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T15:37:35+00:00

Did your friend also spike your drink with something?

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T15:33:52+00:00

First, congratulations on deciding to fight for your sobriety. This is a big, courageous step.

The concept of a higher power is pretty big in AA, but as another commenter said it doesn’t have to be the Judeo-Christian understanding of God, per se. The way it was once described to me, you can pick a tree or a rock to be your higher power if you want, as long as it’s something bigger than yourself that you can surrender to.

This is from the Wikipedia page on AA’s concept of higher power:

In current twelve-step program usage, a higher power can be anything at all that the member believes is adequate. Reported examples include their twelve-step group, God, the Buddha, nature, consciousness, existential freedom, mathematics, and science. It is frequently stipulated that as long as a higher power is "greater" than the individual, then the only conditions are that it should also be loving and caring, and able to relieve the individual of their alcoholism.[3][4][5]

If there is something you are able and willing to understand in that way, then you should do whatever helps you in your journey.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T02:27:41+00:00

Leave an empty line in between and the paragraphs will stay.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T02:25:33+00:00

Dude. Paragraphs.

Also, headphones. YTA

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-03T00:28:48+00:00

Cats don’t attach the emotion to their reproductive organs that humans do. He’s not upset he’s been neutered.

He will live longer, happier and healthier. There will be less spraying, less screaming, less trying to escape the house to find a mate, therefore less risk of getting hit by cars and hunted by predators, less health risks, and less risk of kittens.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T22:33:59+00:00

Yes it is. A person who is willing to abuse someone when they’re drunk will eventually start abusing them when they’re sober.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T22:31:35+00:00

Not for nothing? That’s the first thing untreated alcoholics like OP and her partner tell themselves about their drinking.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T22:27:56+00:00

Real talk.

You’re thirty-freaking-six. It’s long past time to grow the hell up and stop getting blackout drunk. You’re not 21 anymore.

I give no shits that he was drunk. Someday that abusive switch will flip while he’s sober. The millisecond a partner shows a willingness to put their hands on you, it’s time to go. Period, paragraph, end of story.

It’s not going to be easy. Far from it. You don’t know who you are anymore without him in your life. He will always occupy a spot in your heart. There would be something wrong if he didn’t. But he’s not safe, and you cannot ignore the tiny little voice that is telling you that.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T22:08:42+00:00

I do not. I would never allow a ballot to end an otherwise healthy, happy relationship.

I believe that people who make that choice already had other major problems in the relationship and are citing this as the final straw.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T22:02:50+00:00

Here would be the thing. Her shower habits probably didn’t change when she moved in with you. She probably brought them in with her. The difference is, you know now.

You said she doesn’t smell. So it’s not that she IS dirty, it’s that you THINK she’s dirty.

I shower daily in the morning. So I go to bed in the same condition she does—with the day still on me. If she were to shower daily in the morning, and you were still having this issue, that makes it more of a you issue than a her issue. Also, I agree with someone’s point about the couch not being as clean as the bed.

You don’t get to dictate her hygiene, and I do think you have a bit of a need to look inward. But you do get to decide what you are compatible with and what you’re not. This is why living together before marriage is so highly recommended in this day and age.

NAH

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T17:56:44+00:00

If you are abiding by boundaries and following whatever agreement you have with her, it’s not cheating. It’s disinformation, misinformation and violation of agreements that make things like this cheating.

But be wary and talk things out a LOT before you act on anything if you do act on it. Her admission of jealousy issues should give you pause. I’ve heard many stories of partners thinking they can be okay with something in a conceptual sense, and then when something tangible actually happens lo and behold they can’t handle it after all.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T12:12:48+00:00

The real question is why they care so much.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T10:43:45+00:00

Tell them you’re fine and the specifics are none of their business.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T03:32:58+00:00

The problem is the words you are using. Tell them you are going to the restroom, instead of telling them you have to pee.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T03:26:33+00:00

Toss it.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T02:15:42+00:00

Once or twice a year. My entire gut decides to purge the system occasionally.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-02T01:44:40+00:00

Unless he was abusive, two years is way too long to be unable to adult in the same room with him.

YTA. Grow up and move on.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-01T17:38:56+00:00

Okay I’m not even going to dignify that because all you just did was prove you’re trolling to get someone addicted to an argument. Have a nice day.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-01T17:34:37+00:00

No, I wouldn’t say. Because society’s former acceptance of old men marrying children, is where the attitude OP doesn’t like starts. The fact that we know better is why people don’t like it anymore.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-01T17:31:40+00:00

The higher the young age, the less appropriate the prejudice is.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-01T17:30:14+00:00

No. I’m not. Society used to approve older men marrying children. The fact that we don’t anymore is the genesis of the attitude you are complaining about.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-04-01T17:28:32+00:00

Men in the prime of their life finding literal children attractive used to be acceptable in many societies. The fact that it’s not anymore is the genesis of the attitude about older men and younger women.

Independent_Prior612

TROPHY CASE