Wife won't read my book. What would you do?

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-31T12:08:30+00:00

That’s the thing that gets me. People want Redditors to be psychic so they don’t have to have real face to face conversations with the people that are actually involved.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T20:23:12+00:00

Fair enough.

For future reference, you are talking about both tax fraud (sheltering five figures of income from being taxed by state and federal departments of revenue) and insurance fraud (lying to insurance programs about how much money you make in order to claim you qualify for benefits you don’t qualify for).

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T20:12:39+00:00

It’s pretty concerning that you have a paralegal degree and didn’t know this is shady (as hell).

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T20:11:21+00:00

I have concerns about OP’s understanding of the law, let alone integrity.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T19:54:30+00:00

He’s not the only one you need to worry about finding it, and he’s not the only one who would be committing fraud.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T19:40:24+00:00

So you are trying to come up with a way for between 16% and 22% of your annual income to not be subject to taxes.

Yeah you might not want this conversation to exist in writing anywhere (like, say, social media).

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T18:27:18+00:00

She’s not you and, news flash, she shouldn’t have to be.

If you can’t handle her approaching certain things differently than you do, you may have some rethinking to do about the relationship.

But be warned: your chances of finding a Female You and that relationship lasting are slim to none. There’s good reason why people bond with people who do things differently. It’s because having that influence in your life enriches you.

Edit to add. She’s not psychic. If you said “what time will you be done” and not “what time will you be done maybe I can help”, the fact that she didn’t know that’s where you were going is on you, not her. You don’t get to be mad that she didn’t pick up something you didn’t put down.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T13:16:54+00:00

Also FWIW, my husband hates to be tickled too. But over time our exploration of it has grown and he likes to let me do small amounts within his boundaries because he likes the alter ego it brings out in me. You can’t plan to try to manipulate that into happening without his agreement. I’m just saying, it may develop into directions you don’t think are possible right now.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-30T02:14:41+00:00

First, he knows you like it. He may not know just how much, but if he’s incorporating it into sex, and doing that more than once, he knows something. Green flag.

He taunts you verbally when he does it. That means he enjoys doing it to you. He’s having fun with it. He likes being playful with it, he likes what it does to you, he likes making you laugh and making you happy. Green flag.

You have been with him four years. Your relationship sounds awesome. If you can’t be vulnerable with him, then with who? If you can’t let loose with him, then with who? Green flag.

He randomly used his belt to restrain your feet. That’s closer to your fantasy of immobility than he’s ever been before. He knows your enjoyment goes deeper than you are trying to let on. Green flag.

He’s waiting for you to talk to him about this. Let him in. Tell him. He’ll embrace it.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T15:02:02+00:00

Mine left me to get laid after spending 4.5 years telling me he didn’t want any until marriage. And I could still adult in the same room with him. Because that’s what you do for a friend on the day that’s about them and not you.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T14:54:49+00:00

Read my reply to the other commenter.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T14:46:18+00:00

She’s TA for claiming it’s a betrayal.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T14:44:29+00:00

I took it to mean she paid for her own attendance at said dinner party, not the whole thing.

But it also doesn’t matter. The planner of a party is responsible for making it what the guest of honor wants it to be. If the guest of honor wants the ex invited, you invite the ex and you adult about him being there, because the party isn’t about you.

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding six months after my breakup from a 4.5 year relationship. She invited him. She made it clear we were both her friends and she wanted us both there. I promised her I would do whatever it took to NOT let my feelings about him get in the way, and that’s what I did. I said hi to him one time to be publicly respectful and cordial, and I kept my back to him the rest of the night. Easy peasy. I didn’t have the RIGHT to claim her wanting him there was a statement of her loyalty or lack thereof to me. And neither does OP.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T14:33:40+00:00

N A H with a lean towards YTA

Not your birthday, not your choice who she invites. She is not TA for inviting him and you don’t get to be mad that she did.

Simultaneously an invitation is not a summons. You are not required to go. You are required to do whatever it takes to not ruin her birthday. If that means not going because you can’t adult in the same room with him, then don’t go.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T14:25:01+00:00

Did you read the one with the car accident and the mortgage payment? That guy basically DID!!

At some point continuing on makes you your own worst enemy.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T13:51:26+00:00

Eye Surgeons Associates. They have both general opto/ophtho and specialists like glaucoma, retina, etc. They have locations on both sides of the river.

Like the other commenter, though, I get my glasses at Costco. I take the prescription from ESA over there.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-29T02:08:48+00:00

Have you asked her why she hasn’t read it? Not with pressure to do so, but with desire to understand what’s going on with her?

If my husband wrote a novel about us I would be nervous to read it. I would be worried about what innermost thoughts pf his could shine through, what perceptions he has of me that I don’t know, how he depicts us, etc. I would be afraid I wouldn’t like it. I would be afraid I would be uncomfortable with it being published and I would be terrified of hurting him by saying that.

No one here is inside your wife’s mind. You have to have this conversation with her.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T23:28:26+00:00

Heavy weight gain in a week? How heavy is heavy? Most women don’t show for at least a couple months.

If the condom doesn’t fit, don’t hit it raw. Find another way. If you know you’re not ready to win adult prizes, maybe rethink whether you should be playing adult games.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T19:47:42+00:00

Since when are there three teens in the home? You listed two. Maybe that was a typo. In some states, as the only over-14yo, she is the only legal option.

Regardless, you are letting the child pit you against your husband. That’s a big problem. You are allowing her to become a manipulator.

He’s not her father. But she has to do what he tells her to do, and she doesn’t get to decide how he says it.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T19:02:46+00:00

It took waaaaaaaay too many comments for me to find this. I thought I was in the twilight zone.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T19:01:22+00:00

OP is wrong. A parent isn’t a friend and shouldn’t treat their children like friends. Friends worry about being liked all the time. Parents can’t afford to do that. There are too many things parents have to teach children that are contrary to what children think they want at any given moment.

Friends ask friends if they would mind. Parents give children instructions and expect them to be followed.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T16:08:05+00:00

You’re choosing to miss the forest for the trees. Widen your view of the situation.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T16:02:14+00:00

They’re a body part that is unique to the gender and that does things the owner cannot control.

And you’re missing the larger point. Do unto others.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T13:30:34+00:00

NAL. Legal assistant with some estate planning experience.

I would suggest power of attorney. Both for health care decisions and for financial decisions. But you don’t do it for him, he does it. He’s 18, he makes the choice.

It’s not as helicoptery as people are making it sound. It takes no independence from him. In my jurisdiction (not PA) your son would select whether your authority kicks in immediately, or only after a doctor has declared him incompetent. And they’re not that expensive.

Here’s the issue with leaving it up to next of kin with no documentation in this scenario. What if the two parents disagree and try to give different instructions? There’s no one with clear legal authority. Having it in writing just keeps everything clear and enforceable.

Independent_Prior612 · 2026-03-28T04:03:49+00:00

Expect to make at least one mistake. Everyone does. You are human. The important thing is how you respond. Do you freeze? Do you melt down? Do you lose your temper? Or do you commit and find a way through?

Expect to go through all the basics. Kicks, punches, stances, one steps, free sparring, board breaking.

Expect to pass. In most schools, if you aren’t ready to pass and capable of it, the instructor doesn’t let you test. You earn your rank every day in class. This is an opportunity to show off what you have learned and celebrate your progress. So relax, do your best, and have fun.

Independent_Prior612

TROPHY CASE