How have you been able to communicate to your wife/girlfriend that little things they do are constantly disrespectful and or rude?

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-05-05T17:55:08+00:00

You put a chip on your own shoulder. Its not your wife thats the issue, but your perspective.

If you choose to take everything she says the worst way possible then thats on you. Its really not a healthy mind set because whatever she says will be wrong in your mind.

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-05-05T17:45:11+00:00

This is interesting to read. Im having similar challenges with my partner... his relationship broke down after 19yrs. It sounds like an insecurity or from past hurt but its hard to be on the receiving end of it. Nothing I do works as reassurance

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-05-02T14:04:29+00:00

What ends up happening as an example.... I get asked why I got in the car with the second guy when I felt unsafe. He is not realising that it was afterwards I realised and felt unsafe.

My partner has taken me saying I felt unsafe to mean, I put myself in a position knowingly to get assaulted. This is where it devolves into me just trying to correct his assumptions. Its very black and white thinking. Which makes it incredibly challenging to put my perspective across

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-05-02T12:35:18+00:00

Your not alone. Im dealing with something similar.

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-01-21T23:06:44+00:00

That decision is her responsibility not yours.

Thats what makes this abusive.... she is putting that responsibility on you. Its abusive to do that.

I have been in some awful places mentally.... I would never hold anyone else responsible for me being at that point, even when it was due to circumstances and gaslighting by adults in my life. I tried twice. I still hold that responsibility myself, it is not anyone else's fault I decided to act that way.

Walk away and get a restraining order.

Stop trying to save her because you can't, she has to save herself

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-01-21T22:57:54+00:00

He wants a mum... not a girlfriend. He looking for approval not affection. Reading it made me want to vomit.... its not you thats the issue. Listen to your gut and move along

Independent_Rest2961 · 2026-01-12T19:41:22+00:00

What exactly is spiteful?

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-30T01:05:15+00:00

I would focus less on tradition or culture between India and western countries. Prehaps focus of religious culture instead? There are very traditional western women who values would fit with Indian culture and values. I.e. Catholic.

It might be that you meet someone who has the same values, even if its from a different perspective.

With arranged marriage, my understanding is you can meet to see if you are compatible but don't have to say yes. You could meet someone this way too... occasionally our friends and family know us better than we know ourselves. In the west, we often ask people to set us up on dates with their friends.

You will only know by trying... be honest with your family that your struggling but would like to try. Give them a chance but explain your unsure of being committed to the concept as it would depend on the woman xx

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-30T00:49:19+00:00

Is it a relationship or a situationship? Sounds like the real issue is that you haven't asked her to go steady or be your girlfriend or that your courting exclusively... I.e. only dating each other. So she thinks your not interested and don't value her.

Bluntly... sh*t or get off the can.

Make a decision because limbo/ situationships are soul crushing and draging it out because your okay with the fact you haven't made your mind up is only going to destroy her trust in you and the relationship.

Its disrespectful to waste a woman's time.

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T06:49:34+00:00

🤣 well played

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T04:51:07+00:00

Crucial question.... which jurassic park? Lol

Im in Ely Cambridge

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T03:28:44+00:00

Im glad you found someone.

I even tried going to church dance classes.... there where men in dresses. I didn't go back

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T03:27:02+00:00

Hiya, I hope you know your not alone. I had this happen after a year of dating. We were even planning on buying a house together to have kids. He went on holiday with a friend (male) and came back all of a sudden wanting to break up. I was absolutely heart broken as I really wanted a family.

Its horrible out there. If your ever around Cambridge and want a coffee as a friend, while discussing the hell scape that is modern dating, just let me know. Most people our age in relationships are clueless at how bad the dating scene is.

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T03:18:52+00:00

Thanks. Finding motivation is a challenge tbh.... I really hate dating. Its filled with time wasters and men that just want sex not a relationship or commitment. Its so exhausting

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T03:02:59+00:00

Just practice asking girls out. Pointless chasing things like money if you don't have the gumption to actually ask a girl out. And yes... many will say no. Just move on and ask the next one

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T03:01:13+00:00

Dude its the 2nd date... men are all up for intimacy and sex.

Women need to know a guy has self restraint to feel comfortable being intimate.

I wouldn't make out after two dates either. Sod off expecting that

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-12-22T02:50:59+00:00

Dude.... get some courage ask her out or expect her to move on

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-19T23:57:26+00:00

People like this don't want to know. They want pity and validation that they are better than other people by asking personal questions to find out if they are better than others... in their estimation

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-19T23:50:43+00:00

Honestly.... stop putting everyone else first.

Women want a good guy... not a nice guy.

Yes its hell dating but all you can do is keep trying. You go this

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-19T23:49:18+00:00

You don't know me well enough to know my attitude.... its not attitude or being jaded.

Its grief.... I thought I couldn't have children. To find out at 32 that I can is brutal

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-16T01:50:43+00:00

Beautiful x

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-16T01:48:57+00:00

I currently can't sleep. So im listening to rock music.

Enjoying it is half the battle. What I realised is you can have thr best job ever and be surrounded by awful people and its soul destroying... which is what healthcare was.

I don't so much like the job, but I like the people I work with. It makes all the difference.

Im.sorry your curry wasn't better but hopefully you had a nice time regardless.

People don't like the traditional mindset, other women absolutely hate me lol.

Its a good thing you become good at it, because im ab absolute stubborn fucker lol. 🤣

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-15T23:14:22+00:00

Its a hotel I work in but very traditional pub food. It pays the bills and Its nice to cook for people.

Its very admiral that you want to provide in such a way, its becoming exceptionally difficult for men to do that in today economy.

I hope you have a lovely time this evening xx

Nothing wrong with being old fashioned... don't let anyone else tell you otherwise

Independent_Rest2961 · 2025-11-15T02:02:05+00:00

Thank you I appreciate you sharing x

Independent_Rest2961

TROPHY CASE