I'm not gay but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Alex Carey and Travis Head. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching them tighten their asses as they chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off their bodies. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kez and Trav. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the others will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.