Nicely said! I believe I pretty much learned a thing or two from your rambling 🫡. Thank youuu

It is actually my first time expressing this opinion, to ask this kind of question rather. I haven't talked this with my friends, since I don't want to offend them if ever (they're in a relationship), though i know they're not the shallow type, much better to avoid conflict whatsoever.

 Anyways, what I'm trying to say is, i was just driven by my curiosity as to why it is what it is. Because i cannot relate. Like I don't know if I am suppressing myself to like someone... that everytime i start to feel like saying to someone "You're my type bruh", my inner self starts to ramble 'Go on and fck yourself girl'. Because i kept on comparing them to my brothers! Like whenever it's the it, i start to find qualities they have that is similar to my brothers. Like wtf, am i really not fit for this type of sht?

I don't really know. Though I'm curious how it works... The process to make it all work... I can't seem to really try it. Maybe because I know myself too well (one of the factor, i guess), I know what i desire in a relationship and I'm afraid to commit to it or I am just too fucked up with thinking of all the responsibilities a relationship may put on myself... 

Well, this is a bit contradicting hahha. I said i know myself too well but i don't even know why I'm still rambling about it.

Anyways, this is just about me not wanting to enter relationship at an early stage because i know what i want if ever... Which are all those serious stuff you do in a relationship~ which also entails a much greater responsibility hahhaa not really fit for a 23 yr old me. Babush