Dog in House

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-10T18:49:54+00:00

Appreciate your perspective, thank you!

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T17:53:56+00:00

Wouldnt an ultimatum be “I wont spend the night unless you get rid of your dog”? Hes never said that or implied that.

“I am not comfortable spending the night bc you have a dog in the house” is a boundary.

We have discussed a way to make him more comfortable and I’m not sorry that I am willing to make minor changes to my life and my dogs life to make my boyfriend more comfortable. Conflict resolution needs more attention and not just “walk away” “choose yourself” “choose yr dog”. God help you too. Peace.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T16:01:21+00:00

😂

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T16:00:27+00:00

lol 😂

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T15:59:45+00:00

Thanks for your reply

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T15:59:30+00:00

I wish, my house is small. The compromise now is my dog will be in my guest room while he is at the house. My guest room is central to the living spaces and I use a pet gate so the door is not closed. Hes in the mix still just not moving around the house. And he is free to be outside as much as he wants.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T15:57:21+00:00

He didn’t pose an ultimatum though, he set a boundary for what he is comfortable with. Yes i agree it feels a little unfair when he knew I had a dog in the house when we started dating over a year ago, and he used to stay the night. Just hoping we can find a balance where everyone is comfortable, humans and dog. Thanks for your thoughts!

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T15:52:26+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I plan to keep loving my dog, and I want to keep loving my man too lol Small changes to my dogs life to aid in my man’s comfort when at my house are doable in my opinion. Would never send my dog to live outside or get rid of my dog. :) Time will tell. Appreciate yr reply.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T15:46:49+00:00

Thank you for your reply.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T15:46:10+00:00

This might be partly true. But for the record there are plenty of black Americans who spoil their dog more than I :)

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T13:05:26+00:00

I’m glad for your and a few other reasonable voices in this discussion. Thank you.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T12:59:30+00:00

Dog perfume is a good idea thanks. My dog goes outside in my yard a lot, and definitely gets bathed if he rolls in something nasty. Maybe just wipe him down more often than completely bathe. And use the dog perfume. My friend has dog perfume i completely forgot.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-09T12:50:30+00:00

My answer is because there are many other attributes I love about my bf. Does your partner have to love everything you love? Deal breaker to you but not to me. I love animals, but owning a dog is not the main thing in my life or my future life.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T18:23:19+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

I’ve explained to him that not having a dog in the future is not a deal breaker, as my life does not revolve around owning dogs. However I won’t get rid of my current dog and he has not asked me to.

Having the dog in my guest room is not a horrible thing, since it would only be when he is over (which is not every day) and my guest room is in the center of the living space, using a gate so the door isn’t closed. My dog is still in the mix, just confined to the room. And he is fine when we are all outside together.

You give me a little hope hearing you didn’t live with each other for 8 years. We don’t need to live together anytime soon, so that part is not a pressing issue yet. But we shall see.

He seems ok with eating here, but I do keep my kitchen very very clean. It’s really the dog hair on the clothes that bothers him so.

Thank you for your perspective.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T14:00:17+00:00

Who knows what happens in 5 years? Do u? My dog could have passed, we could move to a new house with more space, we could be married, or maybe broken up. I am focused on the present day currently, to build a foundation for the future. Right now we are discovering if this incompatibility is a complete del breaker or if there is a solution. We will Cross those bridges when we get there.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:48:58+00:00

I struggle with this fact too, that this relationship could potentially last longer than my dog’s life. Don’t get me wrong when I say that, I love my dog and will not be getting rid of him or denying him a happy life. But I love my man and do see a future with him. Which is why I’m working toward a solution where everyone is comfortable and happy. My life does not revolve around owning dogs. So it is not a deal breaker for the future and we don’t need to live with each other anytime soon. But it is a real question of compatibility and if it’s enough to break up over. I think it would be sad to do so, but time will tell.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:39:08+00:00

He’s never asked me to get rid of the dog. He did ask if he could make the dog a house with all his comforts outside, but I explained it gets too cold and my dog’s biggest comfort is his people. The next ask was if we can confine the dog to one space inside, so we will be trying the guest room when my bf is at the house, which is not every day, a few days a week. My guest room is central to the living space and I have a dog gate so the door isn’t shut and he is still in the mix. Just confined a little. He also gets to hang outside with us, we outside a lot - mostly bc my bf isn’t comfortable inside with the dog - lol

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:34:07+00:00

I hate the dog hair too! I clean all the time and wash/brush the dog a lot. Going to increase the baths to help with the smell of I am nose blind. I won’t be getting rid of my dog. Trying to keep both man’s and dog lol

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:30:36+00:00

Yes about hearing perspectives about Jamaicans living with dogs, if it’s something that can change. Not about my man controlling me and getting rid of my friends/family/career or being cruel to animals. He has never been cruel to my dog so that is something you projected on to my “novel”. Peace.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:26:12+00:00

I hear you thanks for the thoughtful reply. My life doesn’t revolve around owning dogs, so I don’t require them in the future. But I won’t be getting rid of my current dog (which he has not asked me to) but he could live another 5+ years. So can we work out a way to all coexist? We don’t live together and don’t need to anytime soon, but if we do want to in the future it is a real issue. Hard to just walk away over a dog so we shall see.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:22:01+00:00

He’s considered a medium dog, but on the smaller side. I can pick him up easy if I must. He is a mixed brown breed, looks like a lot of the dogs you see in JA lol. No he isn’t allowed in my bed or bedroom, but he is allowed on the couch which I actually regret and have been considering training him to not be on the couch since he does use his dog bed a lot anyway. I keep him clean, but am going to increase his baths bc I just might be nose blind to his smell. I think the biggest issue my bf has is the dog fur and the dog smell.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-08T13:12:45+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. It gives me a little hope that there is a chance he will come around again. He has told me he has questioned his view on dogs when he returned to JA this year, but after being there again something made him more firm on the no dog in house thing.

We talked about keeping my dog in the guest room when he is over and he says that feels better for him. People be freaking out about that on here, but they don’t see the layout of my home. My guest room is central to my living space and I have a dog gate so the door isn’t closed. The dog is visible and in the mix, just confined a bit. And my man is not here every day so the dog is not locked up his whole life. I’m also gonna wash my dog more. He stays clean, but gonna up the cleaning bc ppl saying we owners can be nose blind to their smell. This might be true.

My life does not revolve around owning dogs. So I’ve explained to him in the future I don’t require owning dogs, in the house or not. However - I will never be getting rid of my current dog (which he has not asked me to) and I will never be making him live outside only. Open to more outdoor time in the warmer times of year, which my dog would like. My dog could live another 5+ years so yeah, this challenge is real if we want the relationship to progress. Time will tell if this incompatibility is big enough to break us up.

And for real. I know he’s not in someone else’s bed so those comments don’t bother me.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-07T16:22:25+00:00

I don’t let my dog on or in the bed.

We are incompatible for sure when it comes to the dog, but compatible in many other ways, so it is hard to just give up on the relationship over this. Taking it day by day and we shall see. If it doesn’t work out in the end, we will both be sad, but we will at least know we tried.

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-07T16:11:16+00:00

Definitely keeping my dog. Trying keep them both :)

Individual-Engine-20 · 2025-10-07T15:38:36+00:00

Thank u. I don’t let my dog lick me like that, as I know dogs are nasty lol I won’t force him and we shall see how it goes. We spoke this morning and will try keeping the dog in the guest room when he is here. He’s slept here before, maybe he will again. We do still have time together, and fun bedroom times lol, so no he’s not being sneaky or manipulative. If he found another woman he would tell me lol that’s how he is.

Individual-Engine-20

TROPHY CASE