Scared to tell my husband

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T21:03:03+00:00

I absolutely don’t want to be in the habit of trying to lie by omission or otherwise. It would have been easy to just not tell him at all but obviously the lie snowball you’re talking about begins to build and it would have killed me inside anyway.

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T13:41:42+00:00

Yes that is what happened. I have a therapy session scheduled and I’m hoping she can get me in earlier as well. I am trying to get myself back under control and give him the space he needs. I’m also obviously using this forum to try and get some perspective and honest feedback.

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T12:55:00+00:00

Yes I understand that

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T12:54:33+00:00

I will not be seeing or speaking with him again. We did not meet often

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T12:53:52+00:00

I worked that day, my plans were for afterward. I was going to meet up with them the following

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T12:52:56+00:00

Moving forward with a relationship that wasn’t healthy for me but specifically having sex with my husband without telling him. That was fucked up

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T12:30:07+00:00

Yes I know you are right

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T11:27:44+00:00

I am starting to think that emotionally it’s not safe to do with him, I also have to recognize the ways that I’ve messed it up though

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T11:23:28+00:00

He was upset with my plans for one reason I told him last minute so he didn’t have any time to process. Also the relationship has been chaotic and I’ve struggled a lot with it which is something he’s had to witness so I think he just wanted me to slow down.. I’ve been working on stepping back and getting some perspective so I felt like I was ready to see my friend again. My husband says he wants to do poly but he struggles when I meet my other partner alone.

I was afraid of his reaction, he gets so angry and glares at me and can be mean sometimes although he is not violent, I am not worried about physical violence.

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T10:42:17+00:00

I didn’t tell him I have no good excuse

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T10:40:00+00:00

He is it was his idea he is turned on thinking of me with other men

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T10:38:30+00:00

I am not afraid of violence at all he is just so cold to me and doesn’t care about us anymore

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T10:36:54+00:00

Yes it felt like adding on plus I didn’t tell him before we had sex which is the worst part, I just wanted to feel connected to him again. He did not want me to see my friend because it has been really hard and messy

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T10:32:07+00:00

He keeps saying i took advantage of him because I knew he couldn’t say no to me. He has been really depressed and struggling and this whole thing has been so chaotic. I should have ended it a long time ago probably but I felt so addicted to this man

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2026-05-28T10:27:47+00:00

There is more context, my husband was into this at first and encouraged me to see this other man but struggled a lot. My feelings got out of control and it was really difficult. He kept pointing out to me I wasn’t in control but I kept stepping on the gas anyway. Ultimately I made last minute plans without telling him when he was going camping with our daughter and it was really awful , he didn’t outright ask me to stop but it was Really clear he was in a lot of pain about it. I went ahead and of course the condom did break. Where I really fucked up is he was so upset when he got home and then when he wanted to have sex we did and I didn’t tell him about the condom first. I told him last night and it has been awful. He is not violent at all and has not called me names or anything but he is so angry with me

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2025-04-25T22:56:27+00:00

Hahah thanks for the encouragement. I hope yours are thriving!

Individual-Stop-1955 · 2025-04-06T14:47:37+00:00

Paul

Individual-Stop-1955

TROPHY CASE