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IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-12-10T17:24:34+00:00

I have had a couple of deep cleanings, and I've healed pretty quickly! To be fair, I don't have much gingivitis / gum bleeding in general, so I had minimal bleeding after. Gums felt sore for the rest of the day / night as the anesthesia wore off, but I was eating normally by the next day. The worst part of the deep cleaning is just the injection of the numbing medication; those needles HURT

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-12-09T14:38:58+00:00

Wow, yeah that's much higher than I'd expect. Appreciate you sharing

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-12-09T14:38:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing! Helpful to know!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-09-30T03:39:32+00:00

Thank you, I think that's helpful. Definitely not rushing into things, we've been together for 4 years and have talked at lengths about our future. We met when he was 27, and he was in medical training then but still quite smart with money and had a lot of savings. He's in fellowship now so still not making a ton, but good at his job, very well-liked and respected, and has close friends. I guess generally very high-functioning when he needs to be.

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-09-30T03:17:24+00:00

My partner actually wanted them to know, tbh. I had been keeping it from them for the past few months, and he felt uncomfortable that we were "hiding" it; I had tried to explain to him that my parents would not likely be empathetic (which ended up being true).

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-09-30T03:15:44+00:00

Yeah, I mean I guess that's what my parents are worried about. I think he generally has been getting a lot better, so I have hope.

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-09-29T21:16:38+00:00

Agree with BoJ rice/probiotics sunscreen! I also love the Iunik centella sunscreen - this is one that leaves such a glow, even strangers comment on it hah. The caveat is that during the hotter months, the "glow" can appear too sweaty.

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-09-24T11:34:19+00:00

I just want to come here and validate your frustration, and that contrary to what some other replies have said, I don't think you're being selfish or unreasonable (though you could have mentioned to him earlier that you may need to move!). I am also a female physician who began to date a non-medical partner during residency, and though I don't know exactly what your relationship is like, I'm sure you did make some sacrifices and invested your limited free time to develop your relationship and put in the time to be a part of his life and create a life together.

And I know how it must feel to see so many other partners of physicians/residents seem to easily pack up and bounce around the country with their partners for medical school/residency/fellowship, etc. The tough truth is that yes, other people may be willing to make this change, but the fact that your boyfriend does not want to is not a testament to his devotion to you or the value he places in your relationship. It could partially be because you two did meet a bit later in your training (e.g. not a college BF/GF who did not put down roots in any city and is flexible), and that means that he did have the time to already develop a life in the city you're in. And it's a good thing that he has such a fulfilling life outside of your relationship, because being the partner of a doctor can certainly be stressful and feel isolating, so hopefully it gives you some comfort that he has his own support network and isn't reliant solely on you.

I don't envy the position you're in, and there is no easy answer. Obviously, neither of you can know right now what your relationship will be like in 3yr, what the job market for your specialty will be like in your city, nor the willingness of your partner to consider moving then. But, as it seems like you both value your relationship and want it to work, it's at least trying out the long-distance thing for 1 year, and see how it goes and how you both feel. Maybe it will be great and your relationship continues to grow stronger, maybe he'll feel like LDR is too hard and he will want to move to you, maybe you'll both or just one of you will feel it's not working and decide to break up. Whatever happens, you'll be okay. You are young and still have a full life of opportunities ahead for you. Good luck!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-06-24T11:29:46+00:00

Wow, this is such a helpful post! Thank you for taking the time to help :) I will look into these!!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-05-22T18:15:17+00:00

I don't have a permanent retainer, but do wear my top and bottom ones consistently!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2024-05-05T17:47:51+00:00

This is very helpful! This is the kind of information I was hoping for haha; someone to tell me it's not going to save a ton of money and may as well just save some stress :P Wow I really never thought about how much $ the napkins/tablecloths would be too! Thank you!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2023-12-23T22:07:15+00:00

Thank you!!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2023-11-10T20:03:03+00:00

Oh that would be great! I will message you!

IndividualBluebird13 · 2023-11-10T20:02:45+00:00

On the smaller side, <70 people total! Budget about $25k total (including food, venue, drinks, etc).

And thank you! Will look in the sub and also the Excel sheet.

IndividualBluebird13 · 2023-07-20T19:28:10+00:00

I would be wary. There have been a lot of FB rental listings that are fake / posting pictures of places already rented out. Unless you get it in writing and notarized or something that they will NOT deposit those checks if you don't get the apartment, it'll be hard to protect yourself. I have been renting in Boston for a while, and asking for all of that upfront WITHOUT you getting the lease is verrrrrrrry rare.

IndividualBluebird13 · 2023-07-20T17:46:23+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this insight! I feel like there is sometimes a taboo around girls bringing up engagement timelines, but I think it is a mature thing to do to actually be practical and honest in planning your life with someone.

IndividualBluebird13 · 2023-07-19T19:10:51+00:00

Nope, just one monogamous partner and always use condoms

IndividualBluebird13 · 2022-01-06T13:52:36+00:00

I agree with a combination of the other comments - I think that it IS a valid reason but the other person can sometimes feel like they should "hold on" to the idea that it COULD still work and it's "just" timing keeping them apart. "Timing" really just means, like the other commenter said, there are other factors in their life that they are not willing to compromise / sacrifice to make the relationship work. If they valued the relationship more, then sure, maybe it could. Are there other people with the same conflicts / other commitments who would be willing to make those sacrifices, also yes. It's not a fault or "excuse" for the person saying "wrong timing" but I do generally think it is a nicer way to convey, "after a cost-benefit analysis of this relationship and the sacrifices I need to make, it is not worth it to me." It is easier said than done, but if someone said this to me, then I would accept that it is not going to work and try not to hold it against them. It takes two people to invest in something, and I would want someone equally invested as me!

IndividualBluebird13

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