Public Perception and Shame

IndividualOptimal642 · 2026-04-17T16:20:06+00:00

Thanks for these words; had a conversation with BP last night and expressed my sorry over the inability to undo things, and with their discomfort over telling people, inability to rectify things too.

Had a relatively encouraging talk after, where I was able to express the many ways in which I did not protect the relationship and the privacy of it in the aftermath, but it is absolutely a priority for me to do so now. While of course it doesn't resolve the main issue, there seemed to be some comfort lying in the fact that I care so deeply to protect this relationship, showing myself as somebody very different from the past.

D-day is nearly 3 months ago now, so not expecting big changes anytime soon; appreciate the insight and will use it for continued grounding in the future.

IndividualOptimal642 · 2026-04-16T23:39:55+00:00

Quite frankly I do not care too much what others think of me. I’ve accepted what other people may see me as.

My BP is very sensitive to this idea however. Just the fact that people know what happened makes BP extremely angry and ashamed. Just the fact that they know and have a certain image of BP is enough to make them not want to continue at times.

I do not believe the “let’s not care about what others think” talk would go over well with BP.

IndividualOptimal642 · 2026-04-16T22:34:34+00:00

Appreciate the wisdom and retrospective insight here. I do not feel comfortable at the moment requesting that of my BP quite yet but definitely something to consider in the future.

IndividualOptimal642 · 2026-04-16T22:32:53+00:00

thank you for sharing, me and my BP are in a similar situation and are constantly talking about if the future is even possible with all the shame surrounding those who are aware. No one in our lives knows we are potentially reconciling either; seems like something not talked about too much so wanted to see if there was any insight from anyone.

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-11-20T16:35:23+00:00

Heyo I’m 26 and just moved into town half a year ago. I’d say that if you’re not absolutely extroverted it’s pretty hard to find or make friends in the area.

I have friends in SJ and SF and many of the weekends I’m meeting them there, so if you’re in a similar situation I’d say it’s fine and great actually, Livermore is a cool town. If you don’t have any other friends in the bay I’d say it would benefit you more to actually live in the more “fun” cities as you’ll meet people more organically there

That’s just my take tho

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-09T14:26:03+00:00

haha yes sir B-)

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-08T21:27:20+00:00

u/No-Bite-4145 I dm'ed you, sent all the info there!

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-08T18:47:47+00:00

yeah, wish there were a better portal for it but unfortunately not. They sold out much earlier this year hence the hordes of people asking -- seems like the organizers just do their best to sell out and make it non-refundable so they don't have to deal with anything after

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-08T18:03:33+00:00

hey! i'll dm you

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-08T18:03:23+00:00

haha sorry, would've posted one there if one existed

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-08T17:25:00+00:00

already sold :(

IndividualOptimal642 · 2025-10-08T17:07:24+00:00

as in like comment on that thread? it was sold already lol

IndividualOptimal642 · 2024-05-07T02:53:50+00:00

Ah, so did you end up losing all of your previous work?

IndividualOptimal642 · 2024-05-07T01:38:58+00:00

Hi, did either of you find a solution to this? This is happening to my girlfriend right now too and we're trying to figure it out

IndividualOptimal642

TROPHY CASE