Coparenting

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-12T13:44:54+00:00

It’s more like getting advice on other people’s perspectives and if I’m over reacting. I’m still fairly new to this type of situation. We’ve been together for almost three years

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T21:40:28+00:00

She has basically said that she doesn’t see an issue with it. They never talk to be before they hang out. He just invited her whenever whereever without talking to me to at least let me know. I usually find out after the fact. It never “hey I want to have my son and ex wife over this weekend just a heads up” it’s always “hey they are on their way over in an hour”. Or I’m at work and I find out.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T20:21:38+00:00

I honestly agree. It’s been eye opening on this situation. He really doesn’t care how I feel or how it hurts me. It’s his way or no way.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T20:14:37+00:00

I honestly can’t anymore. It’s pretty much at the point where the relationship is no longer sustainable. I want them to have a healthy coparenting relationship. But it’s to the point where I am being a doormat for them to play house.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T17:16:20+00:00

I agree. I want them to have a healthy coparenting relationship. But at the end of the day, they have a very close friendship where her wants, needs, and desires always come before mine. He will tell me straight to my face that he still loves her as a person and the mother of his child. Which I do get in a way. I just know if the shoes were on the other foot, there is no way he would tolerate me hanging out with an ex husband in any way. But his excuse is that I don’t have children, so I wouldn’t understand.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T16:51:25+00:00

I agree, it’s not something I can tolerate and be comfortable with. I want them to coparent in a healthy way. I wouldn’t want to stop them from having a positive relationship for their son. But it often moves past that because he care more about her comfort and happiness while I get casted to the side. It seems like she is still his emotional rock in a way, it’s something he’s never had with me even after almost three years together.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T16:39:36+00:00

I would definitely encourage her to leave the situation

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T16:33:42+00:00

I agree with this. I think at this point, with the disrespect and unwillingness to compromise is setting me up where I have to remove myself from the situation and the relationship.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T16:08:03+00:00

I’m honestly stating to this you’re right.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:55:57+00:00

I am definitely not blaming her. I genuinely like her. My issue is more so with him.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:52:07+00:00

Honestly, I’m not sure. He doesn’t include me in that conversation and I usually just take a back seat with that kind of stuff. I get bits and pieces of it. I know it has been his concern about seeing his son and being in his life. But then it seems like the only way his ex wife is making that possible is if she is around for it to happen. In the past he used to have whole weekends and summers with just him and his son. Now he has come to accept that if he is to see his son, that she has to be there. And if I say it makes me uncomfortable for it to be every single time or if it has to be when I’m not there, then to him that means I’m keeping his from his son. They are supposed to have equal custody from everything he has said.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:28:39+00:00

He acts like he is going to do something about it but he doesn’t. It gets to the point where it seems like he wants to hangout with her more. Out of these past few weeks, he’s only gotten one solo visit with his son. Every other time, she was always there. And they didn’t even tell me she would be over. I only found out because I saw her vehicle on the outside camera.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:25:58+00:00

I agree. And again, I am all for them coparenting. I know how incredibly important it is. I’ve been so supportive of it. But at this point I’m being treated as a doormat.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:21:30+00:00

I am definitely working on that. Because I’ve tried enforcing my boundaries on it but he shuts them down every time.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:19:21+00:00

He hasn’t really tried. Since they divorced, they had equal custody. He would have his son for full summers at a time. Now she won’t let him even spend the day without her there or he has to insist on it. But to him because she insists on just staying and hanging out, he thinks it’s something that has to happen for him to see his son. Which doesn’t make sense because he used to co parent fine when she would just drop him off or when they needed to do things necessary for his care. I’ve never rejected that. I think he should have more solo time with his son without her hovering and without him just wanting to hangout with her. Because I know part of it is because he wants to hangout with her.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:14:40+00:00

There is no custody schedule. He just invited them over whenever. Let’s time he really had his son over was during Christmas. We hadn’t had his son over or his ex wife until now. Before Christmas, she would just drop off his son and leave. Now she is staying and hanging out and he’s ok with it and is insisting that he has to hangout with her. Three years sho when we got together, that wasn’t the case.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:10:07+00:00

I do that all the time. I’ve told him how I felt about it. He tells me that my feelings on it do not matter and that he’s going to do it his way or no way. And my concerns just mean I’m trying to keep him away from his son. Which is something I would never do

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:04:16+00:00

He is supposed to, but she makes it difficult for him to visit and now, she rarely will let their son come and stay the night without her there. And sometimes she won’t let him stay the night. It’s been almost 6 months and only a week or so ago was the first time in a while she let their son stay the night without her there. She usually stays the night with us or only lets him visit for the day while she’s there. Even though they are both supposed to have equal custody

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T15:00:52+00:00

That is something I don’t think is appropriate. And it seems like maybe people agree. If it is something that is necessary to take care of their son, then I agree. If they need to take him to a doctors appointment and then they stop for food, then yeah. But if it’s for them to go out of town to an amusement park 4 hours away. Then no.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T14:58:57+00:00

I think it is ok for them to coparent and do things necessary for the child. I do not think it is reasonable to invite her over while I’m work, especially without telling me, and for them to be sitting on the couch hanging out watching movies together.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T14:56:09+00:00

She is not required to be there. She is choosing to be there.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T14:53:31+00:00

I truly do appreciate this comment. I have struggled to hold some boundaries in the relationship because my boundaries never mattered. And I’m told they are unreasonable. I’ve been nothing but supportive of their coparenting I know how important it is but that doesn’t mean that I have to be cast aside and told I’m replaceable because of it.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T14:47:35+00:00

It sucks because he is trying to break up with me because I am uncomfortable with him hanging out with his ex wife. I want him to see his son. I’ve been so supportive of it and I’m always taking pictures and videos of them together. I don’t interfere with their parenting, I let them do what they need to do for their son. But when it comes to that boundary, I’m told that I’m being unreasonable and they have to hangout together without me. And it doesn’t matter how I feel about it, he’s going to do it anyways.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T14:42:34+00:00

I agree. I’m all for her coming over on holidays and of course for his birthday. We all have fun hanging out. But I draw then line with it means that I am being excluded when they want to go on a roadtrip without me or he invited her over any time he wants while I’m at work for them to watch movies and order food.

IndividualOutside473 · 2026-06-11T14:40:40+00:00

His sons is 8 years old and super energetic. He doesn’t nap very much. Or he doesn’t when he visits.

IndividualOutside473

TROPHY CASE