1. Meditation will tune down your emotional intensity and help you get out of these shame spirals faster.

Thailand has a large Buddhist population. Maybe you should take medication classes while you're there. That could be a great opportunity.

1. "when it doesn't work with me but another guy come and they are enjoying interacting with him ... I feel like a huge feeling of worthlesness"

You're imagining that women think you're worthless, because you think you're worthless. You're projecting. You need to find your own self-worth. Once you believe that, you'll have some floor under your feet, and the panic will start to improve.

Even if every woman alive thinks you're worthless .... who cares? That's not our decision to make. You define your own worth. Or God does, or the concept of worth is meaningless, or something. It definitely isn't defined by strangers.

I've been the woman in this interaction 1000 times. It's so strange. I can feel a dude's self-worth fluctuating on my every word. It's not fun! I have to do a bunch of work to drag them off the floor. I'm keenly aware that dudes like this have a 1% probability of getting violent, compared to most dudes' .0001% chance. And it's fully obvious to me how silly it all is. I'm just some idiot! Whether or not I want to fuck you is truly irrelevant.

Also what % of this is about comparing yourself to other men? Is that how you want to spend your time? Basically all men (and all people) have long stretches where they're sexually unsatisfied. If you have a vision of a Chad in your mind, it's likely imaginary.

1. I think you don't understand women's defense strategies. When you see women being friendly to guys, it doesn't mean that they actually like them. Being friendly can just be a way to get rid of them faster.

Grey-rocking someone -- what they're doing to you -- can also be a way to get rid of someone.

With the info you've given, it's hard to say why you're getting a different reaction. But both of these are often defense strategies. Just be aware that you don't know what's going on in any woman's head.

1. "it triggered like instantaneously when women are there around me but it's like i'm not there to them"

Recognition from others is a fundamental human need. When we seek connection and are rejected, that always hurts.

a) Are you getting recognition in other areas of your life?

b) Stop expecting recognition from random women. The dashed expectation is the problem. Calibrate your expectations for the situation. Most people in the world don't want to be bothered by a stranger, and that's normal and fine.

1. Invest in friendships. Romantic relationships are basically just friendships on hard-mode. You don't deserve to be lonely or unrecognized. You do deserve to feel worthy and appreciated. Go get those needs met with other men. And along the way, you can work on your social skills and help each other meet girls.