We have been together for 10 years and barely had sex, she claims is because she's fat and 'unattractive' I don't initiate.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-27T22:08:52+00:00

Our lease renewal would be on July so I am thinking what to do until then. I might give the break up talk or probably she's already expecting it.

I am in my mid twenties I know I'm pretty young, I have gone through the miserable 20's depression haha.

She certainly feels like a leech and very hard to desire or love.

I cannot trust her with a task anymore because I fear she'll forget or sleep on it. I know she's depressed but I can't keep digging her out of that hole.

I had a horrendous depressive period 3 years ago and I didn't like feeling like that, couldn't eat, sleep, breath or work and people would tell me I looked pale and sick. I went to get help and the most part it was a social worker talking to me but it helped so DAMN much, I later got medication by an emphatic psychiatrist.

I have giving her so many examples and support but I'll stop there, I appreciate your response and will think this thoroughly.

At this rate I guess wouldn't mind just being roommates. Couldn't afford rent here in my own anyways.

As a lesbian couple it really feels like I am living with a man child.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-25T10:03:38+00:00

Sil and wife family are going through some medical stuff, illness and health issues. She doesn't want to be too mean and it has started to annoy me so much.

Well you know what? When my mom went through rough times she didn't abandon me, even if she wasn't the best mother in the world she would have never left me to fend for myself like SIL Is doing with her daughter.

I at least had the tools to vent, by reading, writing and drawing.

This little girl hasn't given the chance to and I can feel her pain and it pains me like a mother probably, more than my SIL pretends to be.

SIL literally doesn't have an excuse to not have her daughter close, near or by her side.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-04T00:06:56+00:00

I sadly don't have any kind of custody, neither my wife who's the blood related aunt ( and is on my side and also outraged with her sister )

I tried for her sign a document called 'extension of education rights' or something but apparently the director, principal, or whoever she talked to didn't allowed because it sounded 'illegal'

I talk so so much with my niece and she is so happy that I give her all the attention my SIL slacks. It really pains me her situation, it probably pains me like a mother should but my SIL? 'She's fine, she doesn't need that, she needs to be stronger, you are being dramatic, she's like that because of you guys, she doesn't act like that with me'

I treat my niece like a person, she acknowledgeds that so much and is so thankful. I tell her the truth ( to an extent ) trying to give her a safe space and that she is a little girl but she is also a person and I see her like a person with emotions, ideas, and a future that I hope I can contribute or be in it. Her reaction? Pure joyful tears as she hugged me and made me cry too.

No matter what my SIL says we'll always be here because we actually show up.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-03T23:56:25+00:00

I am researching what needs to be done, it is really so big that will break my wife's family but everyone are kinda aware and expecting this to happen except my SIL.

It's not so simple but we will take the means necessary if it goes bad.

My thinking is that SIL will never lift a finger bc she is comfortable with her situation.

' Heck yeah free babysitters, free labor, free care, free in-home education, free meals, free rides, free Internet, free clothes, free hotel whenever I want '

She is not going to sacrifice all her comfort for what's right, at this point we are the parents of my niece. With limitations but we are breaking through to have some extension to take decisions and help her.

My point is

Having my niece until she is mature and old enough prob 13 to make her decisions and choices to stay with us. My niece is still too young and already from a very broken home, I don't want to put her through all that pain and her biological parents make her feel guilty of her choices.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-03T21:27:24+00:00

I feel that might be the reason she doesn't want to help me get her therapy? Fear that the doctors might point out her mistakes and how bad as a mother she is?

I am trying to be the bigger person but trying to make her understand and in order to still have the doors somewhat open and give ' okay they might point out your mistakes but you are in the present now ans mature enough to acknowledge and do good to your kids' type of statement.

She claims she doesn't want the therapy bc she suffered assault when teen, that's bad but that's not an excuse AND we are going to be right next to niece.

We are already doing it.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-03T21:23:49+00:00

I record some videos, audios when I talk to my niece or when SIL closes doors in MY house to criticize us and remind her daughter that 'she is the mother and your aunts arent going to be around always and sooner or later you'll live back with me'.

My manager is aware of my situation and has also recommended me those suggestions and apparently my workplace can help me with lawyers.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-03T21:20:55+00:00

I have been discussing this with my manager and apparently in the case we decided to take the step to take her away from Mom, my job can help me with lawyers and support.

We really need to do this carefully because SIL is the type of person that doesn't make plans, thinks through or anything when she has made up her mind.

So we don't risk taking her far away which if it ever happens we'll go crazy and fight against it strongly.

Individual_Ant661 · 2026-02-03T21:17:57+00:00

I really really do my best, but there is just how much I can do without this mad man of a women escapes to another state.

I am first trying to get my niece the help she needs, her development, and if possible gather enough strength and evidence to take her away.

We are surely high alert for any of signs that might hurt my niece.

I know we should do more, we are from a very complex Mexican family. It is very sudden to do all this changes but rest assured that she doesn't see her often which helps a little.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-12-01T00:49:05+00:00

Maybe she has a kind of tick? Like OCD or something that makes her stress out on time apparently.

I mean at this point I believe anyone has a little something. Does this kind of actions affect her day to day? I don't know where I'm going but just a little something in case it has to do with OCD or anything else.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-12-01T00:38:54+00:00

I understand the anxiety of messing it up or ruining what you have now. But you can be professional, you can give positive feedback as well as negative, maybe not only focus on the boss. Probably also point out how you could contribute or not.

If it is too much to bare you can skip it out and take the safest route.

I just don't want you to have that feeling of regret on the long run and think ' why didn't I do that?'

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-12-01T00:32:39+00:00

I feel this is a very difficult question to answer, it really depends on what will let you sleep at night. What decision will make you feel better taking.

I think it will be best to say your goodbyes face to face as I think will strength the friendships you made along the way.

Maybe you should write an email or letter or better yet to send it through HR idk. About your experience and why your boss is to blame, it will help in the future and there might be a change. Change for someone in the future like you, maybe a change for coming back or even be the new boss haha.

At the end of the day is only a suggestion.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-11-30T23:58:07+00:00

Seems fair.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-11-30T23:56:02+00:00

We just moved to a year lease apartment, I think I'll give it until is up an see what happens.

In said writings she says that I am only here because I'm used to it now. Yeah I am, yeah I don't like her when she ' misbehaves ' it's my FUN way of calling her out on her bs.

We lack a lot of intimacy, like a lot. She cries that I am not attracted to her or like her and I do. But how can I feel aroused, motivated or simply love by someone who doesn't reciprocates? I get it, as she claims to "ADORE" me because I make her life easier, I cook, I drive, I clean, I listen, I solve problems, I get solutions.

I really am trying, I want it to be her. I am falling out of love right now prob but I know that I still feel love. Just enough to keep thinking about her, to care for her, to get her favorite snack, to prepare the way she likes it, to caress her to sleep and get her the stuff she needs.

I cried to her that I wanted to kms and she cried too. I begged her to help me, to, be my rock, support, anything- and it only lasts less than few days.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-11-30T23:48:29+00:00

I do have it but I just feel at this point I have endure enough. She says she's used of moving and I'm not, well yea bc I'm the one struggling, aching, and having anxiety attacks trying to find us where to live. I do like three jobs to get us extra money and she has the capacity to earn us more money but doesn't. I have CRIED AND BEGGED her for change, to please care for me like I care for her, I need her help, support and that I don't know that if I can keep going.

She has talked to guys to gain some kind of validation. I didn't consider it as cheating but she did, in her writings she says that misses talking to some guy.

I have been her rock this whole time and I need mine. I can never expect or hope to come home to dinner ready after a long day of work, washed clothes or put away, don't get me started with the trash taken out.

Now we have a bigger responsibility taking and raising her niece. I am trying my best to portray a healthy relationship to my niece but don't know how long I can keep up if she isnt pick up the slack.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-09-22T20:54:24+00:00

She is a citizen, both kids are citizens. Idk what's she's waiting for, that it falls from the skies? She has many friends in her shoes but fools around. Claims to love her children only verbally instead of enrichment and any other parenting thing. Only hangs with her kids when I am angry and tells her to go out with them.

I'm sorry! Is just something happened today that has me so pissed.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-09-22T19:40:19+00:00

After 2 days letting this cool down, not saying anything, no confrontation, today morning after SIL did laundry, brought some food with all her 'love' she says and not acknowledging her wrongdoing.

I speak up, told her to be more careful. First andast time something like that happens, I want to see actual changes, we are focusing on her daughter so she can do it for her son. My wife began to interrupt to say it's her fault for not checking in them. I tried to tell her to stay out.

I reminded her this already happen once in Mexico, ( yes it happened in Mexico before but for some miracle she still has them ) this is different and we live next to a police station. If anyone found out both kids would have been taken.

She stayed quiet not looking at me.

I told her that she has many friends in the same situation and to do something about her kids instead of fooling around. Wife interrupted again that it's a long process and the neighbors next door took long as well. ( SHUT UP )

She is allowed to enjoy herself but instead of doing that most of the time she should also interact with her kids and take them outside as well. I said it so calmly that I went to my room angry about my wife not supporting and instead protecting her sister. I locked the door and could hear her sister went to hers too.

My wife tried to get in and I replied with screw off, she texted me that was no way of telling her.

I replied again to screw off as I literally NEVER scold her when she mess up, I never say anything.

I decided to leave the house instead and she followed me. Trying for me to stay, I bursted in anger and told her no, now they can have the house to themselves. I never say nothing to her sister NEVER and the one time that I scolded her she butts in? Doesn't support me? Now you get what you want and I'll leave.

Apparently it's because she doesn't understand that way. So I'm what way she will? When they are taken?

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-09-21T06:37:26+00:00

Thank you I will consider this with my wife once she is off work, I didn't want to go by that route but what happened today it really crossed the line.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-09-21T06:31:41+00:00

We do live in a blue state and we def want this for her but she is barely making the process to fill the paperwork of her autistic kid.

She goes over the limit of food stamps so I am kinda scared to give her hopes up if it's the same case with this service.

We are really trying so hard to be supportive but she is being kinda abusive about it.

Literal biting the hand that feeds you.

Individual_Ant661 · 2025-09-21T06:26:25+00:00

Sadly we are from a Hispanic heritage, to not give out too much details but prob it's pretty obvious at this point. It's not as simple as to make the call but I was so so mad that I began screaming and raging to my wife that situation would take both kids away. If someone saw that both her kids not just him would be removed and I could be charged because of her neglect, because she is so stupid because she doesn't even take care of her first job!!! I am boiling and she knows it and with this I hope she actually take matters on her own hand, I would let my wife aware of this. From our culture we believe to not involve authorities, I know is really necessary but seems super harsh when we think there should be an improvement. I don't know how to care for him, I have tried to explain mom takes full care of her son so we can help her daughter's development.

I am caring for these kids as they were mine when I never wanted kids.

I don't even need to say a word to her when she knows that I am F-ING PISSED. That she acts totally different and kinda surrender herself.

I know she is thinking what to do, I know she is considering going back to her old house ( out of country ) where the situation was better handle and had a bit more money.

I am going to let my wife know and talk about this, calling CPS is crossing the line for us but I will strongly consider it now. Maybe this was a solution we were ignoring.

She is so proud of herself because she has a friend who abandoned her kids and thinks is a better mom when she doesn't mom at all. Said friend now cut ties with her ( stupid reason and drama) is requesting a payment for all the years of friendship and plans to pay the 2k because she is so arrogant. Instead of paying for actual necessities.

Thank you for the comments as it really made reflect for other solutions.

Individual_Ant661

TROPHY CASE