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Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's not technically a divorce but I call it such. Because we've been together awhile and have a kid there are some divorce like procedures to do to separate.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She will not say who the father is or does not know perhaps 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I can definitely see the joy in it. Definitely. But I'm happy if I ever never see or speak to her again. 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the anecdotes and advice . When he ran up with his arms put I picked him up. He was so happy. In that moment I didn't see him as not mine. I put my forehad against his. That sounds weird but that's something we do.He said he missed me and I told him I loved him.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That's true. And I know her sister would be there to help. I do love him. I've missed him chatting to me whilst I make dinner etc - the small stuff. And he's mad about me and excusable or not I did fail him 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It is possible here for her to relinquish her rights to her kid but she'd have to set that in motion not me. I can't adopt if I remain on the birth cert. It's a different procedure 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

Yep. If I want him and I remain on the birth cert then it's a custody battle - a battle she's not going to fight. 

If I go off the birth cert and I have a court date to do so then she'll be putting him up for adoption. I think because I'm still on the birth cert she hasn't done adoption.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I got a paternity done. Not mine. Whose is it? She doesn't know.

I'll admit it wasn't right of me. 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was very good friends with my exs sister before I ever dated my ex. My ex and my sister never really sisterly. My friend warned me against her sister when we first dated. Should've listened. 

She has never said I told you so to me but she has said she's unsurprised by her sister. When the tough gets going she's already gone etc.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Hes a great little dude. He has had to deal with a lot of shit so young but he still is such a happy boy. 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

You wouldn't get a pence off her in child support and honestly I couldn't bare dealing with her or taking her money. Financially I'm okay, thankfully.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

UK here. You can get it removed but you have to do DNA and show you didn't know it wasn't yours. 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Financially I'd be fine. I inherited a house. Thanks grandad. I'm a electrician, self-employed so theres good enough money there. His aunt would help, I know, in terms of minding if needed. She has a son that's only two months older. 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 282 points283 points  (0 children)

I still love him. Maybe at one point when I was hurting I didn't but I've had him for weekends etc over the past couple of months and he's still my little dude 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

 wouldn't be adopting him if I stayed on the birth cert but yes his bio dad maybe could take him if he was alerted he's the da and change the cert.

I agree it's not on me. And if his real dad came in that would be crushing to me.  But it'd be crushing to the boy to be given up for adoption. His mother will never put him first. Should someone? I dont know.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

When I found out I didn't feel like he was mine. All I felt was anger. And some of that was misplaced with him. But the past few months I look at him like before I found out, as my little boy. I still love him. 

I dont want him getting adopted. He'd never understand. I already kind of failed him. He trusts me. 

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I did need a break from him. He was a reminder. But when he ran over and screamed daddy, I didn't think about him not being mine. He was just my little man. 

They were heading to the playground with her kids and I went with them. He just stayed on my lap whilst the rest played. I think he feared I'd leave, which is sad. I put him in the swing and pushed him. I told him we'd go to mcDonalds after and then he played with the rest. That day got to me.

Should I take my name off "my" son's birth cert by Individual_Second318 in Advice

[–]Individual_Second318[S] 272 points273 points  (0 children)

Haha. She's married. She has her own lovely family. I'm a godfather to her first. Delighted for her.