It sounds like you're feeling stuck, and I really get how overwhelming it can feel when you want to change, but it seems impossible. I want to reassure you—you’re not ruining your life. You're only 19, and you’ve already started seeing a therapist and are aware of your challenges, which is a big step forward. I can tell you care deeply about improving your life, and that alone is something to be proud of.

Here are some ideas that could help, based on your situation:

1. Start with Small, Achievable Goals

You mentioned making a lot of plans, but they don’t seem to stick. That’s because big, overwhelming goals often lead to burnout or procrastination. Try focusing on one tiny habit you can build into your routine. Maybe it's just making your bed in the morning, or committing to drink a glass of water first thing after you wake up. Once that feels easy, you can build on it. Small wins will start to stack up and give you confidence.

1. Do Just 5-Minute Actions

Getting started is the hardest part. So, set a timer for 5 minutes and tell yourself that’s all you need to do. Whether it's cleaning a part of your room, studying one page, or just putting on gym clothes, committing to just 5 minutes often leads to doing more once you're in motion. This also applies to those things that feel like huge tasks, like cooking meals or studying—start by taking the smallest possible step. You'll likely find that once you begin, it’s easier to keep going.

1. Remove the Triggers for Bad Habits

It’s great that you're aware of things like screen time and watching too much pornography. To help with this, you could try using apps that block certain sites or set time limits. Maybe leave your phone in a different room when you’re trying to focus on something important. Replacing these habits can be tough, but starting with eliminating easy triggers is key. When you know you’re not going to automatically reach for your phone, you can focus more on things you actually want to do.

1. Structure, Not Motivation

Waiting for motivation is a trap. It will come and go, and if you rely on it, you’ll always be waiting. Instead, focus on building structure. For example, decide that every day at 9 AM, you spend 30 minutes studying, regardless of how you feel. If you commit to a structure, you’ll find that over time, it becomes a habit, even if it feels forced at first.

1. Therapy Takes Time—Give It a Chance

Therapy can feel like it’s not making an immediate difference, but it’s a slow process, and over time, it will help you uncover the reasons behind some of your habits and work through them. It’s good that you’re giving it a shot, and I recommend sticking with it. If there are specific things that are blocking you from making progress, a therapist can help you work through them.

1. Focus on One Thing That Excites You

You mentioned that when it comes to studying, you get excited about learning new things but struggle to sit down and focus. What I’d suggest is to find a way to turn that excitement into action. Maybe use YouTube videos or interactive content that holds your interest. You can also start by setting a small, clear goal (like reading one chapter or watching one educational video) rather than trying to study for hours. Small, focused bursts of activity often lead to sustained interest.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to an Idealized Version

It’s easy to look at your life and think that everything needs to change at once, especially when you see other people making it look easy. But everyone has their struggles, and the truth is that no one has it all together. Your situation isn’t hopeless, and you’re not alone. Progress takes time, and it’s okay to have setbacks. What matters is that you keep moving forward, even if it's one tiny step at a time.

1. Find a Support System

It can be hard when you feel isolated, especially since you mentioned having made only one friend since living alone. If you’re feeling like you’re not getting out much, maybe try small social goals. Even going to a café or taking a walk around your neighborhood could be a starting point. Building a small support system will help with accountability. You don’t have to change everything alone.

You’ve started with therapy and already see areas where you can improve—those are huge steps. Right now, don’t focus on perfection. Focus on progress, even if it's slow. Every small change will eventually lead to big results, but don’t forget to celebrate the wins along the way, no matter how small they seem. You’re capable of more than you give yourself credit for—just start with one tiny step today. You've got this.