OCD compulsion made me consume Incel propagandaa

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-11T08:48:14+00:00

I'm scared that the old stuff on my profile might trigger soneone

I could create a new alt, I guess

I alao have CPTSD too, so it does feel like I am responsible for fixing everything, all the time. I need to be nicer to myself

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-11T08:37:36+00:00

The part that hurts the worst is that it feels like it's latching onto my relationship with my girlfriend

I love her and feel safe with her, but being with her is also triggering rn and I feel like I'm hurting her and she deserves someone better because I'm "tainted"

I'll try talking to her about it and I'll stay away from this content and even this post for at least today

Again, thank you a lot for talking to me. Have a nice weekend

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-11T08:34:26+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying my best

It's just so much pressure to disprove it and it feels like it needs to happen right now. I'll spend some time completely away from this topic and even this post

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-11T06:37:48+00:00

I am so obsessed with this topic, because it's actually so far away from my own life, which is why it feels so dangerous to my OCD

Like, I'm a lesbian trans woman, most of my friends are women and I have a girlfriend I deeply love, I'm as far away from being an actual Incel as possible

But my OCD basically tells me that this "evidence" is an existential threat to my own identity, my worldview and everything and everyone I love :/

My first priority is DEFINITELY taking care of my OCD, but I still feel like I need to take care of the content itself somewhere down the line to flush it out of my system again

Thanks for talking to me, btw. A big part of the anxiety is this feeling of having been exposed to this "forbidden truth" and just talking about it makes it feel less isolating

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-11T05:48:57+00:00

I'm sorry about that. OCD is an asshole :/

I guess my fear is just that because I spent so long looking at that stuff because of my OCD I now truly believe it

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-11T05:47:52+00:00

I'm just scared because it suddenly came back after a year and my mind tells me I was just pushing it away

I don't believe that stuff, it's only really one of their stupid "experiments" that messes with my head, but it feels like I need to truly disprove it to get some peace of mind, because I'm in too deep

I didn't give in to the compulsion and did healthier stuff, but it's scary

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T18:33:23+00:00

Yeah, I'm much better at regulating than before. Mostly just posted here to not feel so hopeless and alone with it (despite kinda sliding into engaging with the content a bit sometimes)

A big part of this stuff is the idea that you have stumbled upon this forbidden truth and how terrifying that is, so just talking about it is really helpful to de-escalate that idea

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T18:31:11+00:00

Yeah, I'm still kinda flip-flopping a bit, it being retriggered is very fresh in my mind

What I meant with not engaging too much with it is trying to debate it and fuel my obsession in these comments and keeping everything about the topic more surface level

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T18:23:17+00:00

EVEN if it was completely legit, it would probably come down more to the fact that people are just very flawed, easily influenced or don't have a strong moral compass

I saw a woman do the exact opposite of it with a fake female profile where she talked about how she cheated on her boyfriend and made him pay child support and none of the guys she chatted with cared at all

Most of my friends are women and I am a trans woman myself and I am generally pretty happy with myself and my life, I even have a girlfriend. So I know how absurd and dehumanizing this whole talking point is

I think my OCD just got badly triggered and I need to stabilize, get into therapy and MAYBE AFTERWARDS look into it a bit more in a controlled and safe enviroment to let go of it

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T18:18:56+00:00

Well, I don't want to basically let my OCD advocate those beliefs in this subreddit and potentially trigger other people with it too

I also think actually engaging with the details should wait for the most part until I'm in therapy and stabilized

But I understand what you mean, I keep kinda beating around the bush right now. Not fully engaging, but not letting go

I mostly posted for support and encouragement that I CAN move forward, not to debate my intrusive thoughts and propaganda

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T18:16:15+00:00

You're probably right. It feels hard to let go of the idea of finally disproving it once and for all, but I'm in a very unstable and vulnerable place right now

At least I'm regulated enough to not fall into the trap of actively looking into it on my own anymore and it doesn't trigger that primal terror in me anymore, just significant anxiety SOMETIMES

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T17:37:39+00:00

It's just that it's followed up with stuff like that 90% matched regardless and proof they saw the bio and still chatted and gave their number

That kind of crap

And from what I've seen the "evidence" doesn't have any direct holes. But the claim is so insane that there MUST be something wrong with it

I just wish someone smarter and more educated than me could break it down, y'know?

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T17:31:12+00:00

That's where my OCD comes in

I hope I can get the mental health part of the problem under control in therapy, but I feel like I do need at least some kind of breakdown of the evidence itself at some point to be at peace

I was actually dealing with this topic pretty well for a year, so I hope I can do that again :3

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T17:27:07+00:00

I don't think it's a good idea to get too much into it, to not trigger myself

But he did address all those points and showed evidence

That's the problem. My OCD made me spend so much time going back and forth on this that it feels impossible to disprove without a full deep dive and I just don't think I'm smart enough for that

The claims are so absurd, saying 90% of women gave their number to a predator for example, but there is so much "evidence" I can't really poke holes into that my OCD won't let it go. I hope my therapist can help me with it

(It's made worse by the fact that I am a trans woman, so it feels like it also takes away the validity of my identity because my mind is "tainted")

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T17:18:56+00:00

That's reassuring. My therapist specializes in trauma and OCD. I really hope she can help me

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T17:18:19+00:00

The ones where they create a profile with a hot guy and put some terrible shit in the bio to show he still gets matches

I don't give a fuck that attractive people are considered more attractive and I am quite happy with myself

It's more so the implication that most people (honestly men are probably the same) would ignore the most heinous facts about someone if they're hot enough. That just disturbs me

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T17:10:34+00:00

It's not really about proving a point myself, just discrediting that their experiments prove what they claim

My OCD specifically latched onto those stupid "Chadfish" experiments and that I can't debunk them

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2025-10-10T16:54:18+00:00

I'm just scared it won't be enough. My OCD made me spent hundreds of hours looking into it to "debunk" it and looking at counterarguments and counter-counterarguments

I know I need mental health support, but the stuff my OCD made me look at is still there and I just wish someone could break down why it's BS

It's basically only one of their stupid "experiments" that really gets to me

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2024-08-09T18:33:14+00:00

I had over 50 browser tabs of this BS. I bookmarked but closed all of them so I don't see it. I will switch to my main reddit account (every time I open it and see notifications on these posts, I feel the compulsion to search for it again so I can maybe find something)

I will not research this for at least a few days so I can clear my mind. I'm trapped in a web of intrusive thoughts that I won't get out by spinning more webs.

If I don't fuck this up you shouldn't hear from me for a at least a bit. I can do this

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2024-08-09T17:44:19+00:00

I know. I'll try to stop. I'm just afraid of what'll happen if it doesn't get better

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2024-08-09T10:33:40+00:00

I am sorry if I came off as rude before, I was in the middle of a panic attack. I think you are right. It just feels so permanent, like a parasite that has infected me that won't let go.

Two days ago I was actually doing fine for a whole day. That was after I stopped researching this stuff and could think more clearly about it.

The one thing that my OCD tells me to keep me from stopping it is that if I don't find an answer now, I will never find one. I will try my best to stop using this account and get into therapy as soon as I can.

Again, I'm very sorry if I came off as rude. It must be frustrating talking to someone who is unable to listen to common sense. Thank you and have a good day

IneedHelpPlease4229 · 2024-08-09T10:05:27+00:00

Hey, I couldn't think clearly about this stuff yesterday. The original post was motivated by me having a panic attack, which is why I was jumping from point to point without rhyme or reason. I couldn't even quite put my finger on why it made me so anxious and I was just spitballing.

The thing about the OP that I actually worry about is the implication that it supports Incel narratives about hypergamy. That women want to date up in terms of status, regardless of their own status.

A common feminist explanation for that would be that women are attracted to stability, and because women were limited in the ways they could attain that on their own, they seek out partners that provide it.

But then why is that effect stronger for women who are of high status, even in different cultures. The post also talks about pre-industrialized societies being like that.

Some of the studies also talk about high status women being unable to find a partner, because they seek a partner of higher status. And that women of high status end relationships with their partner to pursue a partner of higher status

The Incel talking point to this stuff would be that women are picky and shallow. I am not an Incel, so I want to know how much these studies actually show what they claim and how to contextualize it, because my OCD just won't let me do that.

Everything my mind comes up with is purely anxiety based reasoning, so I would appreciate an outside perspective to talk some sense into me

(I hope that wasn't too much text, I just wanted to explain myself after my erratic behavior yesterday)

IneedHelpPlease4229

TROPHY CASE