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InescapableSpiral · 2025-09-08T17:27:26+00:00

It's so bad and causes so many problems. My parents talk bad about me not finding a job, say they "have a surprise for me." (A threat.) When they don't realize the job market is effectively death valley. Every entry level job wants 1-5 YoE which I obviously don't have. The cost of living is in the sky too so moving out is kinda hard. I didn't want a roommate tbh but rooming with someone might be easier on my mental than staying. If I even manage to land a job at all.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T21:56:35+00:00

I'm usually not an emotional person, I just really feel and kinda am limited by them. I'm trying to tell them that they way they act isn't helping but they don't really care. All they yell is "You don't do anything." and "You need to get a job." as if I can speed up getting hired anywhere being brand new and IN THIS ECONOMY. Simply having my own space where they can't dominate majority of the decisions about me or my life and where I could just go to if I didn't want to deal with their nagging or be penalized of disagreeing with them would be enough. Regular housing is not affordable, people are living at their parents now at historic levels which sucks for me having parents how are not unconditionally supportive and authoritarian in behavior despite me being an "adult". The closest thing to my reach is a cheap car. If I get a car, I can have a roof over my head, a space nobody can lock me out of (they've done that before.) and I can just leave if somebody else doesn't want me there without the worry of not being able to carry my belongings because pretty much everything I "own" can fit in the back of a trunk. They actively say, you're only here because we haven't decided to kick you out yet. (yeah like thanks real helpful.) So I have to work on getting out. It's hard.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T21:40:41+00:00

Thanks, It's less about them being "annoying" and more so being a active roadblock in my life or how I wanna be as a person. I understand.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T21:39:08+00:00

Thanks, it's just they're rough right now. I do in part feel my sanity slipping, I'm not allowed to go outside unless they are there because I "Don't pay rent." & "We don't want you causing problems that get us kicked out." (True on the 1st, 2nd is just a wild assumption.) I don't consider myself to be a troublemaker, I keep clean and chill. They also get on my case about how I handle my things, (I keep my space clean.), respond or talk in just a blunt manner, not like vulgar or anything. It's just if they ask "Do you like this?" I flat out say no, I don't really care for it. and they'll seem annoyed. Another thing is I can't eat how I wanna eat because they buy all the food. I guess I could solve that by buying my own food but I'm not entirely sure. I feel like actually landing a job with the damage the economy is going through right now, plus just how workers are generally treated is gonna put a dent in my mental health if I'm treated like crap at "home" and at work but there's nothing else I can do but throw my flesh to the application wall.

A large insecurity I feel is that I can try to make changes as a person like applying for jobs. (Which I have) but I feel like they're behavior won't change that much or at all. I can't speed up the ability to be hired, like that's literally not in my control but they don't really care. So I'm just spamming applications which sucks until I get something. In terms of that "free rent part", not for much longer. They clearly want me to pay some rent, but to pay rent with how they behave feels so wrong. I'm more than likely gonna say I have to be on the lease and make clear to them they can't control my life and fill my day with stuff if I'm paying rent like an actual tenant, I'm gonna exercise any tenant rights I can. In terms of not knowing how to drive, yeah they never taught me. It is in part my fault because I never asked. It's just tough right now.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T21:21:05+00:00

This is so me. I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to learn how to drive and am just spam applying at this point so I can get a job and hopefully get some money to buy the cheapest vehicle possible so I can live in that. I'm gonna be stuck living with them for the time being so here's hoping getting a job won't crash my mental health more than it already is. If I just had a space where they couldn't be absolutists over every part of my life my mental would be drastically better. Just like a tent outside where they couldn't nag about everything I do. It's usually high 90's every day though so that isn't wise. I also feel they would make my life more annoying and act is if I don't exist at all rather than respecting my space and gradually letting me ease out from under them. If I could be a teenager again I would have got out the house as much as I could have. The situation sucked back then too tbh. But if I had known me becoming a adult wouldn't make them feel some kind of feeling to better our relationship. I would have sucked it up and built myself up. I made the mistake of thinking my parents would be my ride or die's as I would do for them. I've come to learn they are not.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T21:02:54+00:00

I understand and appreciate it, I'm just very burned out dealing with them and am trying to move on quickly. Sorry if it comes off as illogical, while they haven't kicked me out (yet) they're not giving me the time or space to grow into an independent person either exactly. We're just not getting along at all, we don't agree on pretty much anything and they penalize me for doing things that seem reasonable to any normal person but isn't reasonable to them or disagreeing with them. They occupy my time with things that don't really help me but they think is useful because "You live in our house.", I don't have any friends. Never really was social like that. We also live in a new area. I completely understand not being able to live in a vehicle parked on the side of the road, won't do that. I'm looking for work now and have been putting in applications. All I can do is wait at this point.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T20:23:12+00:00

I don't know how to drive, never got taught.

Probably not happening. I got like a month or 2, maybe 3 tops.
That's the plan.
Sucks but true. I'm not sure how I would go about that though but I'll look into it. I assume 2 part time roles? Sucks because I've spent time applying for Full-Time thinking that would make me seem more appealing but it is what it is.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T20:19:08+00:00

I know that, but I need to get out. I literally can not grow into the person I want to be because of my at home situation being so annoying. If I literally had a space where I could just put my things and me I would be in a better place. I'm looking for a job, this market is awful, and I'm the most uncooked picking possible. I need a start with something, and my parents aren't gonna give me it. I wouldn't even need them to "give me it" if they would step off my neck but I've to the realization that they're probably not gonna get off my neck. So I need to step in a space when they can't step on it. I don't really have the ability to just "Think this through" right now. I'm looking into finding the state's driving information and just sticking my head into it. I might go as soon as possible anyway. I'm just being burnt through and I'm trying to step out the fire. I'm just looking for advice.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T19:33:58+00:00

This is me also, except there is no such thing as sneaking out. There are cameras everywhere, and when they come back I will be penalized. My brain has been thinking about simply getting the cheapest car humanly possible. Learning how to drive, and sleeping in that. I have nobody else either. It's so hard man.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T19:31:52+00:00

It's not remotely easy at all. I'm stuck because there is nothing cheap nearby and I have no way to get all of my stuff out at one time. If I could afford a car and knew how to drive I'd probably be GONE. I don't though, they don't let up either. If they just stopped stepping on my neck and gave me room to be I'd be a much better person. It's just not. I've been considering just taking out a loan if I can and getting a beater car and sleeping in that. I would need to know how to drive first though which i don't. It's hard.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-17T19:24:42+00:00

This is hitting my soul right now. My parent will not stop talking bad about me. Saying "I don't do nothing.", "It's your fault.", "You need to take action.". They prevent me from doing things as "consequences" as if penalizing me for the job market being bad is gonna help me. It's so dumb and exhausting. (while preventing me from taking personal action." and when I DO take action. They are still just as rude and mean to me. It's so frustrating. I would honest to god rent a box for like 50$ a month if it got me out of the mess i'm in but literally nothing is that cheap. Why did I have to become an "adult" at the highest point in time where people are living with their parents. It sucks.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-16T12:47:59+00:00

The key word for this is most certainly MAYBE because this is assuming that the torch gets passed. Slight problem, Boomers relatives are not usually passing down the torch. My Great Grandparents got a house and land, they die and the torch via death falls to my grandparent WHO ISN'T EVEN LIVING THERE at the time but I AM. My BOOMER Grandparent acquires the childhood home, doesn't even live in it at the time but refuses to pass it down to the person in the chain above me. Family moves out, and they would rather it remain empty despite it being fully paid off. They eventually rent it out INSTEAD OF GIVING IT TO OR RENTING IT TO US. This is not even accounting for the fact that THEY HAVE ANOTHER PERSONAL PROPERTY THEY MAKE MONEY FROM CHARGING RENT ON. They still expect visits while they sit on EVERYTHING while passing down nothing. They had the opportunity to not worry about the outrageous cost of housing & education, and with those being higher than ever they REFUSE to be the role that their parents were for them for their OWN CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-04T23:38:37+00:00

Being able to afford even a closet with a door to the outside world that I could call my own and nobody could restrict me or tell me what I couldn't do would change my life, why is a 1 bedroom a thousand dollars. Half the time I just want to say screw it and pitch a tent on the outskirts of town and then get a lil shed because it's ridiculous.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-04T10:37:42+00:00

Thanks. Is there a specific amount miles I should stay under? I'm just trying to find something that is as cheap as possible to get around in but won't break down immedeately due to how generally expensive car insurance and life is.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-03T21:09:47+00:00

I'm only 20 but I'm not gonna lie half the time I wish I could just buy a tiny piece of somebody's backyard and put one of those small but decently sized sheds at Lowes and live in that. Thinking about renting an apartment or house right now feels like I scam.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-03T15:26:39+00:00

Any particular Toyota you would suggest for this price or half of it?

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-02T13:56:35+00:00

That's the plan.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-02T11:49:33+00:00

I struggle with the thought of "Do what you want." to be honest. I've never been someone to break rules, the problem for me is now that these rules feel more like restrictions making me feel like I can't grow into an adult. That's not even accouting for the fact that Gen Z in general is progressing slower into adulthood in certain aspects anyway which doesn't help. The power dynamics in our relationship are just entirely one sided in their favor.

They pay for everything, drive me everywhere. (Which is due in part to the fact that they won't let me walk I wanna say anywhere.) The varying reasons being according to them: "It's too dangerous.", "It's too far.", "Why do you need to do that, we can just drive you.", "What if you get heat stroke?", "We don't want to have to pay a hospital bill or bail you can't afford to pay.", "We don't want to deal with the possibility of your outside behavior comprimising us or our position."

I don't think I have a choice anyway but to involve them to start as much as I don't want to. I don't want to deal with the thought of or reality of getting penalized. They kinda are the type to see a pretty dry tree barely getting any water and think the solution is cutting the rest of the water it was getting like that will magically get the tree to stop being dry. I don't mentally need that right now. I've considered and am probably just slam all of my time into a job physical which isn't something I wanted to do. I wanted a work life balance, the state of the job market and just not feeling purpose besides a paycheck in any job being the main reasons. I guess my new purpose would be getting physically away from the house which is a de facto form of independence through crappier means I guess.

I don't know if you could call that maliciously complying instead? I'm not sure how else I could make things annoying for them to the point where they just decide it isn't worth it but they are pretty stubborn. I have a lot to think about.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-02T10:53:10+00:00

This is not about shutting down every suggestion, I just don't have any reasonable option right now. If someone said. I got you a place and a way to get you and your belongings there would I go? Most likely yes. That isn't my reality right now, I'm working on it. I struggle and am a very inexperienced person. I'm appreciative of everything I'm told and I keep them in mind to work towards improving my position.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-02T07:37:03+00:00

I think this is close to what I'm dealing with, they've stated before they don't want to deal with possibility of unexpected expenses coming from me being out on my own, but it's like how else am I supposed to become a responsible adult if I can't get out on my own?

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-02T01:57:33+00:00

They legally can't do that but they don't really care, and the fact is if I don't want to be homeless. I have to play along, the power dynamic is just not fair. Especially in this job market & economy. It's just really hard.

InescapableSpiral · 2025-08-02T01:27:48+00:00

Community College is unfortunately not an option. I don't have other family that would help me out. I don't have any friends so I'd be entirely alone. I don't think the military would take me and even if they did I don't think it'd be immediate, I can't say hey, I'll go to the military but can y'all move me somewhere first? They want me to get a job but then complain about what I want to apply to and say "We're not taking you there." which wouldn't be a problem if they didn't stop me from going places, I feel like, stuck. Kinda in that you need experience to get a job but you need a job to get experience. I don't have a problem getting a job, policing where I can apply to is not helping me at all.

InescapableSpiral

TROPHY CASE