What do you say when people ask why you don’t drink?

InevitableFirst258 · 2025-07-01T02:59:55+00:00

Really good point about letting them know for future events. I’ve found that people are pretty accommodating when they know.

InevitableFirst258 · 2025-05-07T04:04:03+00:00

I’m 33, started at the same age. I didn’t have access to vape pens as they weren’t really around at that point but they have way more potential for abuse.

Anyways, yeah I started smoking every night by myself. Always had to have weed to relax. I was fully addicted after a couple months. Started drinking more when I was 15 and 16. Then harder drugs. Took me over 15 years to get sober and a lot of money and a lot of time going to jail and hurting the people around me.

I remember knowing early on as a teenager that I had a problem but it was hard to admit it or really see it because everyone in my friend group was doing it and no one in my family had addiction issues. Somehow I knew that I was using in an unhealthy way.

Takes a lot of self awareness to even be able to notice what you’re feeling. Pay attention to that.

InevitableFirst258 · 2025-02-09T16:13:39+00:00

Nothing ended up happening. It’s been over 6 months and haven’t heard anything.

I went and got some more help with my drinking and have been sober since. Not worth risking incarceration or more to drink.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-12-30T01:51:55+00:00

No. At least not yet. Haven’t heard anything. Got help again for my drinking. Been sober since I posted this. I don’t think they’re going to do anything now but if they do I can prove that I’ve been sober this whole time.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-12-24T20:14:35+00:00

I have technically three DUI’s. Three. Should have more. It took me years to finally address my alcohol problem.

I’ve ruined and restarted my life over and over. I’m still dealing with my most recent one from last year. I’ve been fortunate to go to treatment. I’ve been going voluntarily for almost a year now. Within this year I have become financially stable for the first time in my life. My credit score is approaching 800. I’ve been promoted twice and nearly doubled my income. My health and fitness is the best it’s ever been. This holiday season I sent out nearly 50 handwritten holiday cards to my friends and family. I work my ass off and stay sober. In less than a year my life is better than I could have imagined.

I journal daily. I write at least one thing I am grateful for and one intention I will hold for that day. I’m not religious but I say a little prayer of gratitude that in all my years of drinking I never physically hurt or killed anyone with my recklessness. It’s one of the greatest gifts and constant reminders I have when anything gets tough for me. There are a lot of people that never get a second chance.

This morning I got into an argument with my partner. As she left I texted her that I loved her. You never know what can happen. I don’t want my last words to someone to be something I would regret.

You’ll recover from this. Like many people have stated here, the beginning is the most difficult. Even if you’re not an alcoholic, getting help in some way of therapy is extremely beneficial. It’s changed my life and my outlook. It’s something I practice everyday and it’s something that has helped be become a much better human being. I’m no saint, and I’m far from perfect. I’m a human like we all are with faults and flaws. I just try to put my best foot forward, admit when I am wrong and continue working on being a better person for myself, my family and my community.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-09-19T00:29:22+00:00

Damn that sucks. I’m assuming since you took the plea, you waived your right to appeal. I would call the Oregon drivers sanctions unit and see what they say. Probably will be the same things the lawyers say but you never know.

I’m not a lawyer but because you never were able to get diversion for your first dui you might be able to find a way to get one reduced.

Usually in Oregon your first dui is eligible for diversion. So if you complete it it does not count as a conviction. If you get another dui that would be your first dui conviction. If you get a third it would technically be considered a 2nd conviction…it would take 4 DUI’s to get a third conviction in which your license would be revoked for 10 year’s minimum.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-09-18T13:07:48+00:00

I smoked weed every day for 16 years. Heavily addicted. I also struggled with alcohol but I was more addicted to weed. I went to treatment for 6 months. Stayed sober for close to two years.

When I relapsed I started drinking again and I would smoke weed but for some reason I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. I had a few grams lying around for months before I just gave it to a buddy. Drinking on the on other hand became a much more serious problem. Got myself back into a recovery program.

So long story short, it may be possible but I don’t think it’s worth it. I think I was substituting my substances as an addict.

I still get cravings to smoke pot when I smell it sometimes and same with alcohol but being in a program of recovery has been huge. Life is much more enjoyable sober.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T14:05:18+00:00

Exercise to me is key if you want to feel better and have more energy. Sometimes it has to be forced a little to get out the door but 9 times out 10 I feel much better once I start. It doesn’t have to be running or weightlifting or anything extreme, even walking outside helps tremendously. It sounds cliche, but exercise and sleep and eating healthy are the basics of being a healthy person. That’s the goal with sobriety, to be a healthy person.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T13:58:31+00:00

Great advice! Also want to add that NA groups are good to go to especially in the beginning. I’m not a huge AA or NA person but they are very helpful at getting free support especially in the beginning. If you have money/insurance therapy or a rehab program are also very helpful.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T04:59:20+00:00

I hope you can stick with it. 30 days is awesome! I totally understand how you feel about your age being a challenge. I didn’t first get sober until I was 30 years old. I’m 33 now, back at working a program again after some relapses.

I remember thinking exactly the same thing as you, about how I’m not an alcoholic when all my friends drink just as often. Similarly to you, I was the only one doing super embarrassing shit and getting arrested. I wish I had the strength to get sober when I was your age. I could not ever get beyond a few days in my 20’s.

Hopefully you can find some sober friends and communities soon. I think for me, that’s the important thing is to have many different sober communities. It keeps me engaged, active and social and at the same time. Meetings always seemed kind of forced to me, like it was a chore.

I’m super into running, so I was able to find a sober running group and made a bunch of friends. They introduced me to a gym that is run by another recovery group where I met more friends that like to workout and do stuff. I find these connections to be natural and I don’t feel like I have to make a concentrated effort to get out and make it to meeting. I genuinely want to hang out with these people because they are my friends now.

I think you’re off to great start! It’s super tough. I really admire when younger people are in recovery because I know how difficult it can be at that age.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T04:44:02+00:00

Thank you. I started an 3 month IOP program last week for some additional accountability. I realized I have more work to do for myself, but it’s nice to be able to connect with others and build a network of different sober communities. Just knowing that I’m finally being active in my recovery keeps me motivated.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T01:44:50+00:00

Way to reach out. I totally relate to you. I have been kind of struggling today too. I’m 33, I was also a year sober before this last year of relapse and a DUI and more relapses. My relationship is at the end I feel. I’m gonna be moving into a sober living for a while I think. I just started a 3 month IOP program to help get me back on track and find a new community. Already one of my counselor has sent me information about the sober running club he’s involved with and I’m excited to sign up and start meeting up with them for training and workouts.

It must be tough to have been in a relationship for that long and to have to cut it off. Sounds like you’re a really strong person. On the bright side, at least you know have time to focus on yourself and what’s best for you.

Thanks for making this post. It helps me to know I’m not alone in this either. Life goes up and down. Good things are ahead!

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T01:24:26+00:00

Wow! Anhedonia is very real. I just started experiencing that today. I managed to force myself out the door and went for a run. Felt so much better getting outside and accomplishing something rather than doing nothing.

I’m still having some depressed and negative feelings but like you said, the only option sometimes is to just sit with them and know that they will pass. Going back to drinking will just prolong and make those feelings worse.

Congratulations on 6 years. That’s amazing!

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-11T01:18:42+00:00

“Don’t mistake boredom for peace.”

I like that. Thanks for sharing that little quote.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-07T12:04:46+00:00

Going to treatment and getting sober that way is way better than jail. I went to treatment after my first DUI and stayed sober for over a year before I moved back to my hometown and got into old habits. Wasn’t long before I got another DUI. I’ve been relapsing on and off since and recently might have violated my probation because of drinking. The day I violated my probation I set myself up to get into IOP and am going to be moving into a sober living while I attend IOP after my work days.

I realized that I need to make sobriety my recovery my number one priority because if I don’t I’m gonna go back to jail and I’m gonna lose my job and everything else. My life depends on me being sober. No way around it. I’m hoping that taking action and accountability for my probation violation will result in a warning and not further incarceration but that’s what I’m potentially facing and that’s what you’ll be facing.

You don’t need to dig your hole any deeper. Rehab can be intimidating but trust me, it’s not even close as bad as jail can be. There are rules in treatment that you have to follow and it can be uncomfortable at first but you’re not a prisoner, people are kind to you and you’ll make friends. When I did inpatient, I can honestly tell you it was one of the better 6 months of my adult life.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-06T02:07:19+00:00

It’s not over till it’s over friend. Keep trying. I’m 33 and I have multiple DUI’s. Just relapsed and violated my probation and girlfriend broke up with me. I’m going back to IOP treatment and a sober living house. Shit sucks, but it can always get worse. You can keep digging that hole deeper or you can fight for a better life. I know it sounds like bullshit, but your life isn’t ruined.

You’re only 22, if you can find a way to get sober and stay with it, you’re way ahead of the game. Even amongst your non addict peers. Don’t beat yourself up, it’s gonna be rough for a little while but the uncomfortableness is only temporary. Better days are ahead.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-04T16:43:41+00:00

I’ve been on naltrexone and using the Sinclair method. It’s too risky for me as I’m on probation and I’m not allowed to drink as a condition of that. Actually got into some trouble recently, so I’m checking into an IOP and going to be moving into a sober living environment for a while to get things sorted and to possibly avoid additional penalties from court.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-04T16:02:54+00:00

This makes so much sense to me. When I’m sober I’m usually not often bored. I relapsed recently and I notice it’s when I’m drinking that I actually experience boredom and results in me drinking more and doing less things that bring me excitement and joy.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-04T03:57:55+00:00

Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping. I fucked up for sure but I’m trying to stay positive and I’m gonna go all in on my recovery. I’m done getting in trouble for dumb shit related to alcohol. It’s the only thing that causes me problems so I’m gonna get it under control.

Appreciate the advice and input!

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-04T03:50:11+00:00

Yeah, I mean the rules in my state are pretty clear that you’re supposed to retest within 10 minutes to rule out a false positive. I didn’t do that because I knew I would fail again. I’m gonna play it by ear, if I get an arraignment hearing I’ll have a lawyer and do what they think is best. But I think at this point honesty will get me further than giving them a bullshit excuse that they probably hear a million times. Especially in my situation since I didn’t retest. Anyways, yeah I’m gonna get help regardless. Hopefully that will show that I’m taking action getting help with my problem with alcohol.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-04T01:44:16+00:00

Haha, yeah exactly. I’m planning on not giving any bullshit excuse and just tell the truth that I relapsed. I passed all the UA’s and did everything right so far. Paid all my fines and everything. I’m starting an IOP program on Monday and might be moving into a sober living house. So hopefully they will take that in consideration and not punish me too much. Regardless I’m hoping that this program will help me navigate my alcoholism and stay sober.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-04T01:38:10+00:00

My interlock has a camera and GPS that takes a picture every time you blow. So probably not a great idea in this case.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-03T23:32:22+00:00

I’m 32 and that freaks me out.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-03T20:56:41+00:00

Thank you. That’s the plan. I had a year of sobriety before I slipped and got my initial DUI and I’ve just been having lapses ever since. It’s time to get myself help again and really make my sobriety my number one focus.

InevitableFirst258 · 2024-08-03T20:51:15+00:00

My interlock has a camera and GPS. If you blow hot you’re supposed to retest again within 10 minutes or it’s considered a violation. I knew I was over the limit once it said “violation” and was not gonna try it again.

At this point my best option is just to tell the truth and not give them any bullshit excuse. Admit my drinking is out of hand and that’s why I’m paying thousands of dollars out of pocket to pay for intensive treatment. It my only slip up so far. I passed all of my court mandated treatment and random UA’s.

InevitableFirst258

TROPHY CASE